And when you finally decided to say no to something that you just don't want to do, do people get mad at you?
2007-09-03 12:47:13 · 14 answers · asked by Spirit Dancer 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No, I don't have a really hard time saying no. I always explain why I say no and hope the person understands. I have a friend that would always say yes to go do things and so on with people, even me. Then he would just not show up or call or anything. I would get so mad at him for this. One day I talked to him about it. I said, man if you don't want to do something just tell me. That's all you have to do, I won't get mad about it. I do get mad when you agree then just don't show up or anything. He understood and now does say no he does not feel like it or he has something else to do. That's fine with me. I understand that people do not always want to do the same things I want to. All I ask is that they are honest and say what's up. So I always tell people no, and explain why. Some try to persuade me to do it anyways but I usually stick to my guns once I have made up my mind on an issue. I think people should always let others know how they feel and where they stand. There is no reason just to go along to get along. If you do that then usually more problems come up and they are even harder to deal with. You just have to let people know that it is nothing against them as a person or as a friend. It is just that one is not always in the same mood that you are in. If they get mad and act like a fool then to hell with them they do not care enough about your feelings and so why should you care about theirs. That's how I see it. =)
2007-09-03 13:17:39 · answer #1 · answered by Prof. Dave 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had that "problem" for years. I tried to tell my self it was my great empathy,but i thank it was really just fear that I would need help someday,and could "call in some favors".
when the time came (as it comes for all of us!) that I needed help,those who I had been most "Johnny On The Spot" for,were the first to give me the old:
"there's just not a thing I can do!"
"sure wish you had asked me yesterday,because then I could,but now I cant!",
"Cant do nothing FOR you."
"I would be right over there to help you,but the Grandboy is here,and I gotta watch him!"
"had some skin cancers burnt off yesterday so your SOL!"
From this I had a epiphany. Putting others first is fine in two cases.
1.You really,sincerely do not expect anything in return !
2. The people you put first, have you somewhere in THEIR top 100!
Otherwise it is recipe for feeling ill used.
2007-09-04 04:29:35 · answer #2 · answered by InTheGreatSatan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I do not have hard times saying "No" and yes people get mad, But I do not care.
2007-09-03 13:43:51 · answer #3 · answered by Bjorn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the situation, but typically I don't have a big issue with "no". If the person I say no to gets mad, that's their problem. If I have the option to say no, it means I'm under no obligation...
2007-09-03 12:53:30 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not really. I used to have a hard time with it but I've learned that people need to get over themselves.
It's funny how people talk about boundaries. I have a sibling that insists I instill more - but they didn't like that I did so with them.
2007-09-04 03:37:08 · answer #5 · answered by Done 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't say no to some people ,they'll walk all over you and take advantage of you and use you. I never have a hard time saying no, and if they get mad they'll get over it.
2007-09-03 13:41:18 · answer #6 · answered by rem552000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to until I was pushed to my limit this year on MY birthday. No-one cared what i wanted to do, they did what they wanted to. they didn't have a good time. i did. It taught me a good lesson. when u don't agree or something displeases u, say NO. If u don't people will run all over u.
2007-09-03 19:30:17 · answer #7 · answered by shareecee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yup
some people like to take advantage of your kindness. There was a girl who used to be my best friend and when her friend used to betray her all the time; she'd forgive her each and every time. Yet I messed up like two times and she never forgave me. Besides, the second time was because I backstabbed her since she wouldn't talk with me and kept ignoring me
2007-09-03 13:30:52 · answer #8 · answered by Yuri ^_^ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only person you have to worry about is yourself. Learn to say No now. It will be easier the more you learn to do it.
2007-09-03 12:53:10 · answer #9 · answered by Laura Z 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
yes cause if somone asks me for snacks and i dont want to give it to them i just say *ok* and when i do say no i feal bad for them so i say i dont want my snack so i give it to them and dont ask me for points cause i dont want to lose them and ill feal bad
2007-09-03 14:26:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋