He was my first love, and my first husband. He gave up all rights to the two children he & I had together to my second (and 'real') husband.
I haven't a clue as to how he found this phone number--the phone is not even listed in my name...
BTW, he knew that I've been widowed for the last five years???
2007-09-03 12:02:51 · 14 answers · asked by Holiday Magic 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He lives over 2,000 miles from where I do. The children never considered anyone but my second husband to be their dad. Don't be happy for me--he ruined my life, and messed-up my eldest child's head.
2007-09-03 13:12:25 · update #1
I'm presently single...no way to know if that lying, cheating POS is...
2007-09-03 13:14:20 · update #2
my sister was contacted after over 20 years by an ex. it was a very bad breakup for her, he stalked her. thankfully after about a year he moved away. when out of the blue he emailed her she was very upset, as you are, at first, and they emailed for a while back and forth, she confronted him and he apologized all over the place for the old bad times, and because she kept an open mind, she forgave him and they became very very good friends, my point is, she kept him at a distance via email while she figured out what he wanted as he too lived far away, and just emailed him until she established what he was an ok person, and all he really wanted was to make amends.
your story is pretty dramatic, and i certainly wish you well, and that is why i told you this story, to show you it does happen to others and can work out cordially. people do grow up. so that is what i think, i think you need to be careful, and do not let him in your life, but, you can talk by phone if you do not email. i will pray that this is meaningful for your children if you decide it would be ok. obviously i would not say anything to them right away. i will say a prayer and i wish you well.
ps: after a year of emailing, this ex was killed in a car accident, and my sister still says that their friendship in what turned out to be the last year of his life gives her great peace.
2007-09-03 13:53:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what I would think. It would depend on what he SAID on the phone. He may just be curious about the children, feeling guilty for not being the father they deserved. Or he could be wanting to have another chance with you. LIke I said, it depends on what and how he said things on the phone. The main thing you need to do is ask yourself if you'd ever want to be with him again or if you'd be open to having him in your children's lives. That way, you're prepared for anything he throws your way.
2007-09-03 19:08:27 · answer #2 · answered by bestadvicechick 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to say. Maybe it took him 20 years to realize that he loves you and only you? Maybe he feels lonely and is looking for a friendship. Meet him up and see what he is going to say. Also ask him straight why you called me after all these years?
Does your children consider him as a dad? Do they know him?
2007-09-03 19:19:07 · answer #3 · answered by terliuke 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he wants to make contact with his children. Maybe hes looking for a hand-out. Could be a dozen reasons.
Be polite, but be cautious. Find out what hes wanting and his intentions. If its nothing bad and if its something you can help him with maybe you should. If hes just trying to be a nosey creep or gives you bad vibes tell him to buzz off.
2007-09-03 19:22:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
he may have gotten the number from your children or other family member. perhaps he wants to rekindle the relationship or maybe he's just lonely. you won't really know until you ask him. if you don't want to get back into a relationship with him, then be cordial, but keep it short and don't initiate any contact.
2007-09-03 19:21:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
mine did call me.well not me exactly but a number where he knew someone could get in touch with me. it was out of the blue,27 yrs after i last saw him. it was weird. i'd always wondered what happened to him. it was no big deal really. our relationship was nothing like yours. we weren't married and i was a kid when we met but, we talked a bit and caught up. it was nice to have that blast from the past.
2007-09-03 21:40:05 · answer #6 · answered by racer 51 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would be very suprised and shocked and gobsmacked and a million things would be running through my mind like how the hell did he get my number and why is he contacting me now?
Have you asked him why after all these years?
2007-09-03 19:21:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Something in his life has changed. He may just want to clear up some items from the past that are bothering him.
2007-09-03 19:12:21 · answer #8 · answered by Beatrice C 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a big loser to me (he gave up rights to his kids?? what the he**?). Time to change your number and dont tell ANYONE except absolutely necessary..
2007-09-03 19:25:31 · answer #9 · answered by Jay Jay 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sounds like he called someone you both know and checked up on you. wouldnt think anything about it. just would tick me off people telling my business to an ex no matter if he was your first love.
2007-09-03 19:08:03 · answer #10 · answered by tweettreat 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋