im so scared about giving birth..?

Question

hey there im 6 months pregnant and ive been having recurring dreams about giving birth now im sure this is normal as im gonna be a 1st time mum, but ive been having bad dreams like stuff going wrong and it just being an all-round bad experience. obviously i cant wait to meet my daughter but im just completley dreading the birth experience. i dont like hospitals anyway and the birthing unit at my local hospital is situated right next to the morgue!! which i hate even more. i just wonder if anyone can help me or advise. is the pain really that bad? is it like period pains times ten. i must seem so naive but i really have no idea and im rly worried

thank u so so much for all of ur help, i really do appreciate it, i am just trying so hard to think about meeting my baby girl, another thing im dreading is a long labour! incase icant cope, thank you everyone x ill keep u posted x

Answer 1

Giving Birth is not the samefor everone.
I understand you are scared, but look at all the people on the earth and most of them came into the world the same way.
It is pretty painful(usually) when you have your first baby, This is the first time your body has had to stretch like this and often the woman is a bit tense being her first time. The more tense you are the more it will hurt. To start with you will have small pains in your groin or back - more like cramps. These gradually get stronger and closer together until the baby is about to be born. During this time if you feel the pain is too much have whatever pain relief you are offered,
As the baby moves down the birth canal you may feel a grazing or burning feeling. This stage is very quickly over.
Once the baby's head is born the rest slips out easily and you will feel nothing when the placenta comes away.
You will not go through life without any pain at all, but your labour pains are the most productive pain you will have and the memory of it fades within a few weeks.

Answer 2

They can keep you relatively comfortable during your delivery. And it is a very safe thing to happen. Almost no one dies in childbirth anymore.

The main painkiller they give you is an epidural. They slip a little catheter into your spinal cavity, right near your spinal cord, and inject meds every hour. While these meds are working--I had a c-section while these meds were working--total pain relief. And it won't hurt baby. It might slow your labor down a bit, though.

Maybe you need to watch some videos of ladies giving birth--like the kind you watch at birthing classes. Ask your dr. Then you'll see the happy that comes after the pushing...

My friend's husband hurt his back and couldn't help her in the labor room. So I was drafted. While she got her epidural, she had to bend her back. I was the one on the other side holding her up. I held her hand, and finally, when the nurse said she was "complete" my friend pushed once and out popped little Alexandra Christine. I was the first to hold her beside her mom & the doc. It was not a bad experience for her. The pain was not unbearable. I was just mad because I pushed for 2-1/2 hours, and with her it was just one push and plop!

Since the birth of my children, I have experienced several occasions when pain has been much worse--migraines, root canal gone bad, dry sockets from pulled molars.

You will be fine. You don't have a choice but to be fine. Just keep your chin up, ask for pain meds when you need it, and remember that the hospital works for you, not the other way around. If you demand they do things one way, they have to. Or you can report them.

Congratulations on the birth of a new baby!

TX Mom

Answer 3

there is no best way to prepare u for childbirth - its a wonderful,empowering and scary time all rolled into one! i felt exactly the same as u on both my pregnancies as did all my friends ,so u are completely normal - don't worry!having vivid dreams is OK - its an extension of ur daily thoughts all stored up ready for the night . well that's how my midwife explained it anyway!!again very normal.as regards the morgue bit . . . by the time u go into labour,u will be so focused on meeting ur little girl u wont give it a second thought!! trust me on this ! the pain is subjective - i know this doesn't really help u much but i am such a wimp when it comes to pain, u wouldn't believe and yet I've done this twice!! u must discuss ur pain control options with ur lead midwife if u can - this will put ur mind at ease and get u thinking about other things . childbirth is a true miracle and when u cuddle ur darling daughter for the first time the pain is instantly forgotten and the world just seems to stop for a second as u bond with ur new baby. congratulations mummy!

Answer 4

Just to ease your mind, child birth is a wonderful experience. I have had two children both without an epidural. I wont lie, it does hurt but you don't remember the pain once you have that little one in your arms. The good thing is, hospitals have really good drugs for pain management. Anything from something like a drug called Nu-bane that just dulls the pain up to and epidural which will make you very very comfy with little pain. Also if you have the extra money to do it or if your insurance will cover it you can hire a dula which is a person that teaches you techniques to manage pain through the birthing process. They will go to the hospital with you and be by your side the whole time :) hope this helps!

Answer 5

from my experience, i can only tell you that the labor pain isn't so bad. Just imagine a period/poo cramping together but 10 times worse. Thats how the contractions feels like, but once u start pushing that baby out...it's just hard work so thats why they call it labor. But it's not painful at all. Just hang in there. I'm sure you will get through this fine. Im about to give birth in a few weeks for the 2nd time and i am only scared of complications and other stuff they may go wrong.

Answer 6

Oh every women worries like this!! Don't feel bad, think of it like this.... millions of women have gone through it.....and then di it again and again ...

If the pain gets to be too much, you can have an epidural. I'm not gonna lie, it hurts, but that is why we are offered drugs. Everyone's labor is different so some women will scare the heck out of you , while others say it's no big deal. If you want something for pain, take it.

As far as something going wrong, we all worry about that too. That is something we have no control over so try to stay optimistic because stress won't help. Good Luck with your birth!

Answer 7

Ok, the pain can be bad...it just depends on your tolerance level. Some women have pain in their back and it is not too bad, some have it in front and it is similar to extremely bad period cramps with no relief and then there are some woman who can get the pain in their back and front. If you are lucky you could be one of those woman who does not feel much of her pain at all There are options for pain medication. No one can tell you what to expect because every labor and delivery are different so what you hear from one person may never happen to you! The best advice to give would be to go into it as relaxed as possible and with as much knowledge to your options as possible. Your dread might just be due to your anxiety of the unexpected. This is your first time and you will be going through something that you never have before and that can be scary for anyone. Just know that you will be fine and the baby will be fine. The doctors are trained to take care of you and baby and to prevent the bad things from happening. I do not want to scare you but I had my first pregnancy induced 11 days before my due date. I was able to tolerate most of the pain with the aid of IV medication. 12 hours into the labor I was not progressing so they had to do a c-section. My baby was born healthy and they were able to prevent any problems. I had a c-section with my 2nd son as well. Just concentrate on knowing that as soon as it is all over you will be able to hold your little one. Keep your mind occupied with other things to prepare for the baby. Chances are you will not be able to stop the dreams all together but they are just your fears and anxiety playing out. Good luck to you and God bless :)

Answer 8

From everyone I have spoken to it seems that worrying is what creates a bad birth. It is normal to be a bit scared. With my first, a relative of mine had a baby 2 weeks before my due date and told me horror stories of how she screamed the hospital down etc. Honestly, it is not that bad. It is obviously scary because you don't know what to expect, but I had 2 births with no pain killers and no complications. I would recommend doing a birth class (not through the hospital). Which state are you in? I would not recommend listening to people's birth stories as reliable. People seem to have a way of exaggerating how bad it was to make out like they went through the worst pain, feel sorry for me or something. I have to say, even I have used the words to my partner "well you haven't given birth so don't speak to me about pain!". Even though I actually quite enjoyed the birth of my daughter (as much as anyone can enjoy being in pain!). Throughout the labour, focus on every contraction bringing your daughter closer to where you can cuddle her, it really helps. Just keep thinking that is one less contraction that I have to get through, one closer to hearing her little voice cry out. Feel free to e-mail me with any questions, no questions are stupid, really, don't feel that way. Oh, and yes labour pains very much reminded me of period pain, but in a way not as bad because you get a break after each contraction. Honestly, they might hurt more, but remember they aren't constant like period pain can be, they only last a minute or something then you get a few minutes or more break

Answer 9

I told myself that women everywhere have done it for centuries. Most of history without any medication and at home or out in the field on farms. If other women have, then I can. I'm such a wimp when it comes to pain. For me I was just scared. I was induced but never went into labor, then had a C section. So I didn't really feel the labor pains, just the after C section pains. The worst part was getting the spinal block. I so do not look forward to that again, but honestly it wasn't any worse than the tattoo I have there. I know it's really scary but try to stay calm and trust your doctors.

Answer 10

First off, being afraid of the pain you're going to feel, and boy are you going to feel some, is totally normal, BUT, the fear is going to make it hurt worse. I would look into birth alternitives, such as a free-stading birth center, if there are any in the area in which you live, as oppose to going the hospital route. You are already worried, and heading into a stark, rigid hospital enviroment is only going to hinder your mental prepardedness. As much as nurses and doctors say they are there to help, they really don't know what to do with a woman in labor. America treats laboring women the same as sick women; "something is wrong with you and the only way to fix you is to medicate you." Of course you can go with drugs, but you don't have to; you do have other options. A woman's body is built for having babies, most of the time, and as long as you don't fight yourself, it works out quite well. My mom birthed my 3 younger siblings at home, in the familiarity and intimacy of her own bedroom with the aid of a midwife, with no complications, and no drugs. I am expecting baby number 2 in december, and the peace of mind I now have knowing I don't have to walk in to a hospital is overwhelming! I feel like I can tackle the hard work of labor so much more efficiently in the quiet, home-like envoroment of a birth center. Taking some birth classes from a good instructor can help; it will give you an idea of what to expect, and can teach you some ways to help your body do its work, rather than fighting it with fear. Whatever route you take; hospital verses homebirth/ birth center, just let nature take it's course. Once you start interfering medically, one intervention leads to another. Be brave, have confidence in what your body can accomplish, and good luck!