To cut along story short she is not keeping this pregnancy (please dont judge her as this is not the question) Her boyfriend has now left town and doesnt want anything to do with her. He is also going to leave the country soon (he is from Chile) He left without saying goodbye or anything and now she'll never see him again. All she wants is him to be there for her but he's too much of a coward. She is so upset and really depressed and i try to cheer her up and tell her everythings going to be ok, but nothing works. What can i do to help??
ps he didnt leave because she is not keeping the pregnancy he left because he is a f*cken baby
2007-09-03 11:45:09 · 21 answers · asked by Baca 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Also she is 19 he is 25 you would think a 25 year old would be a man about things by that age
2007-09-03 11:48:15 · update #1
For all those people saying you cant kill the baby etc etc you have got no idea what my sister is going through. The doctors are worried it could be ectopic pregnancy also. Next time read questions properly as i clearly stated dont judge her.
2007-09-03 18:44:06 · update #2
ps Sarah's Mommy...it's nice to see you'll never have a life and your only 15
2007-09-03 18:46:34 · update #3
I am sorry that people can't do what you ask and keep their mouths shut about her choice to abort.
It sounds to me like this man is still a boy. He wants to go out, have fun, have his cake and eat it too. I do believe that accidental pregnancy is something that people should discuss before having sex, but that is neither here nor there.
As I am sure she knows in her heart, and you do, too, he never really cared for her the way she did for him. He didn't want a girlfriend, he wanted a pretty companion and someone to keep his bed warm. There are too many guys out there like this.
The only advice I can give your sister, is to take time out for herself. Perhaps see a therapist afterwards-she will go through a brief postpartum period-antidepressants may be a good option. I had an abortion several years ago (I was 21) and yes, it was hard as hell. I was a basket case for about six months. I hated myself, hated my (now) ex, cried all the time-but I moved on. Hindsight is 20/20. I didn't want the abortion, but he did-and I do believe it was the best thing. I wasn't so sure at first, but after I left him (he was emotionally abusive) and began to put the pieces back together, I realized I saved myself and the child a lifetime of heartache and misery. I met a wonderful man shortly after leaving his sorry bet, and in 5 weeks, I will call that man my husband. We have a beautiful baby girl who isn't really a baby anymore (a few days shy of 20 months) and have never been happier. I firmly believe that one day she will find that kind of happiness and contentment, too. You have to live and learn.
As for your role in all this, the best thing that you can do is be a shoulder to cry on. Go with her to the clinic. Spend the day with her, stay the night. Take her out to lunch the next day, maybe to get a pedicure. Don't talk unless she asks-what she will need is for someone to listen. She is your sister, you know her well. Pay attention to the cues-sit and listen when she needs it, be a shoulder to cry on, tell a stupid story to distract her. Keep her busy-don't introduce her to men, blind dates, etc. Take her out with the girls to do whatever it is she likes best-whether it's dancing, hiking, karaoke......Just keep her busy and try to put a smile on her face. Let her know it does and will get better, even if it's only a little bit each day, she will go on and get better.
2007-09-03 12:06:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well. I am a single parent and I love it. Sounds like he went AWOL. Scared I guess. Everything will be ok. I think that she shouldn't abort it personally, but that would be her choice. There are other options like adoption as well. If she doesn't want to keep the baby. Talk to Birthright and see what they can offer, she may need some counselling, since he had upped and left her just like that, nevermind to another COUNTRY. He isn't ready emotionally to have a child. He is only 25, but yes I agree with you, if a man gets a woman pregant they 'should' stand by her, for emotional support and moral support.
Tell your sister that she needs to take care of herself, emotionally and mentally. So that she is healthy and not go into Post partum depression after the child's birth if she chooses not to have an abortion. This is very painful for her to deal with right now. I would strongly intervene for some counselling to deal with this kind of traumatic situation, that she is going through. Just be there for her and family as well. Make sure she is surrounded with loving people. Not negative people in her life. It will be a long road if she doesn't seek the help she needs. Then eventually she just may give up all together....
2007-09-03 11:57:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
A 25 year old who's dating a 19 year old was clearly never man enough to deal with adult situations to begin with. That's besides the point though. Your sister is going through an extremely traumatic experience, so just telling her things will be alright aren't going to cut it. Don't get me wrong- it's great that you're there for her and that you care about her and want what's best. It's just that there's nothing you can really do to make her feel better. She needs time to grieve for the loss of her baby (even if she's choosing to have an abortion, there's still a huge sense of loss with that), and she needs time to grieve for the loss of her boyfriend. So just give her that- lots of time to grieve, and lots of time to heal. Be there for her in whatever way you can. Best wishes!
2007-09-03 14:04:28 · answer #3 · answered by elizabeth_ashley44 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you two are close then offer to be with her when she goes to the clinic. It will not be easy and personally I wouldn't be able to watch what is being done. She'll need someone there to support her through this and she will not be allowed to drive after the procedure. If she wants to talk let her and cry with her if she needs it. She will also be going through some major hormonal swings following the procedure just as if she had had the baby. Just let her know you love her and you are there for her. Thats all anyone can really do for her.
2007-09-03 11:49:28 · answer #4 · answered by starfire978 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dear Friend, Forget this man. She is depressed over a baby man, but she will also be very depressed if she has an abortion. Women do regret their abortions (see silentnomoreawareness.org). I am a person who is adopted and I am happy to be alive, and here to respond to you. Your sister can get information and support that she so badly needs at a pregnancy resource center, which you can find by googling optionline, or call 1800afamily. Abortion is not the answer, it will bring more physical, emotional and spiritual problems. Please encourage her to take good care of her baby by keeping the baby or giving the baby for beautiful adoption. Sincerely, Runner
2007-09-03 11:54:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
That's very sad! She could have adopted the baby out. There are so many people that would love a child and can't for one reason or another. Just be there for her. She is going to be very depressed and is going to need you there for her for support. God Bless.
2016-05-20 06:48:58 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not judging your sister. But why would you want to kill a little miracle that lives insideyour body. A miracle that loves you and doesn't even know you yet. Please think about giving the baby to a family not killing it. And men are always sared of having kids. He was just not ready and did not know what to do. But that doesn't mean you should kill the baby have it and give it up.
only 15 years old. And 15 weeks pregnate with a little girl.
2007-09-03 18:25:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh Dear i really feel sorry for your sister actually i don't know what to say but i know this is so bad feelings for her.
but this is our biggest problem some times we loved the wrong person and we give our trust without thinking and we let the time control our life. but we wont look back we should learn from our mistakes.
laugh at your mistakes .but learn from them .
joke over your troubles . but gather strength from them .
have fun with your difficulties .but overcome them .
these are lessons of life for you ....
in life there is no going back .
the road lies straight a head .
you can't return along the track to see out what has past .
you can't undo your past mistakes .
Even wishing to do so is in Vain .
But in between in all this .
Don't forget that always you can try again ..
calm down starry i know it's hard to do but try then both of you need to think well and everything will gonna be alright
pray for God with faith and be sure that he will give his hand to help your sister
i wish everything to become normal and ok with your sister
Take Care
:(
2007-09-03 12:04:44 · answer #8 · answered by joe 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
just b/c hes 25 doesnt make him mature, or a man..
There is nothing in this world that can heal a broken heart except for time.. All you can do is be there for her, and spend time with her. Go out and have fun.
2007-09-03 11:57:08 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ LovingMyLittle1 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
why is she so depressed...is she depressed over the decision she made because you would think if she really didn't care about aborting her baby she wouldn't be depressed about it or is she going through with the pregnancy and then giving it up for adoption?...but anyways my best friend is also pregnant, and she is only 17. you just have to be there for your sister especially now that her bf left...tell her everything will be ok...just stick by her side! things will eventually get better!
2007-09-03 11:55:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋