2007-09-03 11:38:25 · 23 answers · asked by akiraelisebarnes2006 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I am not too sure if there is anything in regards to making him accept the baby, however there is a lot u can do for yourself to make the road a little easier on yourself and your baby.
I agree with the others as far as once the baby is born, if you chose to parent the baby, either have him sign his rights away (which I wouldn't do myself) or file for child support. Depending on where you are, and what he has chosen at the time (whether he decides to be there, sing the birth cert, etc) file for child support. They will, if he refuses to sign the birth certificate, establish paternity, and order him to pay child support, This process can be long and somewhat draining on you, but it is worth it in the end.
In the best intrest of your child, try not to bad mouth him (which will be challanging, cuz he probably is a jerk) and encourage a relationship between the father and baby, if he can provide a stable and safe enviroment, that is. I know this will be difficult, cuz he hurt you, but in the end, if you do not, and the father wants to be involved, the child might end up resenting you for it, and/or, the more people to love the child the better.......
Now on the other hand, if he does not come around and wants nothing to do with the baby and you do not want any support, you can have him sign his rights away (however, like I said, I wouldnt do this).
If he decides to not be around, like i said, and you do not have him sign his rights away, he will be forced, by law to support the child, even if he does not have a job or really anything of value, whenever he does get a job, or try to get anything of value it is something that will follow him FOREVER. It is reported on credit bereau's and fairs very poorly when trying to obtain a loan. If he is past due, and gets a job, or whatever, which, eventually he will have to at some point in his life, they will deduct it from his pay.
Now that just focuses on the legal system and what you can do by law, however there is a whole other side to the story and that is a little tougher cuz it involves your emotions and personal well being.... emotionally, you will have to go in this with the mind set that you will be doing this on your own, which you can, and there are a lot of resources out there to help you.
Unfortunatly, as the woman, you are forced to deal with the decision, he can walk away at any time, realistically, which you can't. If you'd like you can email me and let me know a little more and I can try and help a little more.... I can also share my personal experiences with you. Plus having soeone to talk to helps.
You cant make someone care, or make someone be there. In the end the only person that will lose out, if you make the right decisions and choices from here on out, is him.
He might come around, he might not, no one knows, probably not even him. But the best thing to do is take care of yourself and your baby so you can move on, with, or without him and be happy.
2007-09-03 14:15:46 · answer #1 · answered by Melissa V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happens all of the time. A lot of guys don't want to accept the baby even though they were partly responsible for creating. Sweetheart, you can't make him want to accept the baby but you sure can make him accept the financial responsibility for taking care of it. As soon as possible get a paternity test to confirm that he is the father and then go to the child support office in your hometown with the results. They are there to help you. If he is underage it may be possible that his parents will have to help you out until he can do if himself. If he does not pay child support you can go through the legal system and he will wish he had been taking responsibility. You'll be a good mother whether he wants to be a father or not.
2007-09-03 18:51:33 · answer #2 · answered by Fran 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In all cases the mother (or at least female directly involved in the case) has final say on anything in cases of when she is pregnant. If the father doesn't want the baby then tough luck.
If the mother decides to have the baby the father must pay child support whether he wanted the baby or not. Refusal to do so can prevent the father from various things like getting a passport to leave the country.
Simply put it's the mother's choice. I hate to sound insulting but if the father didn't want the baby he should either have used a condom or just not had sex in the first place.
2007-09-03 18:47:48 · answer #3 · answered by I want my *old* MTV 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Truthfully you should have thought about that before you chose to let him be the father of your child.
Now all you can do is try your best to raise the child you chose to bring into this world. Try your best to create a positive relationship with it's father. Instead of spending your life fighting against him like people here are saying, try to get him involved in decisions about the child.
You owe it to your child to make up for any poor choices that brought it here.
2007-09-03 19:09:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To the person who said it is unfair to force someone to be a parent when they don't want to be, seriously, what are you thinking? He made that choice already when he had unprotected sex. Or sex at all really. Anyone with half a brain knows having sex can result in pregnancy. I say do it on your own. I did. I was 17 and he tried to get me to abort. My daughter is now seven and I am with a wonderful new man, have been for about 4 years now, andwe have a gorgeous 8month old. My seven year old is loved and happy and it's not a big deal that her father chose not to be part of her life. We talk about it on occasion, particulary since my latest daughter has been born, but she knows I love her and will always be there for her. Some kids have no stable parents or aren't shown any love, your child at least has you. He may change his mind later on or he may not. I would focus on you and the baby, and just pretty much forget he exists, let him do his thing. Good luck, I know it's not easy
2007-09-03 18:48:46 · answer #5 · answered by Mel J 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
If he doesn't want to be in the babies life.
forget him!
He isn't worth it, it's his loss in the end!
I have been through it with my son and his father and you just get over them, it hurts but it's something you have to do otherwise you stress about him not coming to see the baby ect.
If he denys the baby, then get a DNA test. He can't keep denying if he has the proof.
I think any guy who can't accept their child then they ain't worth my time!
2007-09-03 19:02:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Black firefly has got the right idea. It takes two to make a baby, and he's got to hold up his end of the obligation, even if he doesn't want to enjoy all the fun of having a child. Make sure he's the father (he'll want solid proof), file for sole custody, file for child support, and say good-bye. If he's not man enough to accept his child and parent him/her, he needs to find some other sandbox to play in.
TX Mom
not an expert
2007-09-03 18:46:43 · answer #7 · answered by TX Mom 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
well if he don't want to accept the baby....you are going to have be both mother & father to this baby...and put that child support on his sorry ***...sorry i get so furious when a man lays down w/u and can't accept the consequences
2007-09-03 19:18:27 · answer #8 · answered by SparkleNdAir 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
make sure he signs away his right that way he could never be part of the baby life what so ever, at the same time he will be out of your life too. Good luck
2007-09-03 19:01:39 · answer #9 · answered by Missy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough sh*t on him. In reality he has no say in the deed once the pregnancy has happened. He either steps up and supports you throughout the whole thing or you can do it on your own until the baby is born and have the courts deal with it. They'll have a dna test done and require him to pay childsupport. He has no way of getting out of it
2007-09-03 18:43:16 · answer #10 · answered by starfire978 6 · 7⤊ 2⤋