is it better to plan logically (financially) for an exit from a bad marriage or to just leave now with your heart in charge? i am married to a man who has lied about who he is, doesn't want and can't have sex with me, is bipolar and unreasonable most of the time, but is helping me financially right now. we are both very unhappy in the relationship. he doesn't want to change the status quo. i feel stuck. i'm rebuilding my insurance business and appreciate the help, but the relationship is ridiculous. we sleep in separate beds, i finally confronted him about some of his ridiculous lies and stories about his past, he apologized--but i think he's either incapable or unwilling to be honest about who he really is...(made up stupid stories about various scars on his body--war injuries, he said). when my adult son was extended in iraq and i was extremely upset, he lied to his boss over the phone and told him that "his" son had been wounded in action. he was fake crying at the time. help
2007-09-03 11:23:48 · 4 answers · asked by diamond heart 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
a 12 year old boy's future is at stake with this decision.
2007-09-03 11:27:46 · update #1
leave now, it's easier to rebuild finances than to rebuild trust and your heart.
2007-09-03 11:38:22 · answer #1 · answered by paula t. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Clearly you are not happy but what is locking you in is the financial situation. The first thing I would have advised, you already are there. I was going to say don't think you are locked. You are not. "I am too loyal, intelligent and beautiful to not be treated like I deserve to be treated" You deserve to be happy, you deserve to be treated with respect! Think for a moment what is important to you? If the children, the you need to think how you can live with them minus him. If he is cheating on you, or is messing around you, then get the hint...you can be granted a divorce any time. It has it's ugly head to so you must be ready to handle it as well. Two, think again of the opportunities you had looked at. If he is working his E-7, you need to be thinking of something else. It's not clear why you did not take that opportunity, I would have. This way you don't actually get a divorce (it's ugly and only when absolutely necessary) and hopefully you get to stay with the kids. When he completes his army course, as unfortunate as it may sound, he doesn't have to come to you. Hopefully this will bring some form of sanity on him.. Sometimes all we need is some time away, then we can think clearly. Please get someone to talk to, there seems to be too much pain you are going through, and the answers here are based on the information provided which might not be representative of the issue on the ground. My thoughts are with you.
2016-05-20 06:29:03 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please plan logically if you are not in immediate danger.
Get your own bank account and start banking your paychecks.
If you don't have a job, get one.
Gather financial statements of any sort... 401K, retirement funds, CD, IRA, checking and savings accounts... you are due 1/2 of all assets accrued during your marriage and will need this documentation to get it.
Then move out.
Get the "DIY divorce guide" for your state, read it and make plans. You can download the latest forms from the state website and begin filling them out. Then go to the county courthouse with the appropriate amount of money and file for divorce. You will also have to file for child support at the same time. It takes some 60 days for a divorce to become final.
Good luck.
2007-09-03 11:41:00 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry to hear about your troubles.i think you should part company. ask yourself do i love him. do i want to spend the rest of my life with. if the answer is no to both of them. go your separate ways. good luck.
2007-09-03 11:36:44 · answer #4 · answered by willy wom bat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋