My wife drank when I met her but not that much. Since then she has become very alcohlic and has caused problems in our marriage and our family. She is mean when she's not drinking and worse when she is. Sh has called my job in a drunken tirade and made me look like an *** in front of my boss. There are many, many episodes besides that. About four years ago I had had enough and checked in to a rehab clinic myself. She went through it and we thought everyhting was okay. She was still as mean as ever though, what they call a 'dry drunk'. About a year ago I would find marijauna butts and wine bottles hidden around the house. I don't drink and neither does my son. I knew she was drinking again but was in denial. My son would call me a t work ( I work at night) and tell me she was at it again drunk. I have had the cops come to my house because of her and she has accused me of things I haven't done. I love her but i don;t like her like this. I'm tired and wonder if I should go.
2007-09-03 11:18:01 · 12 answers · asked by Nash M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave her to her drinking. Save the rest of your life. I normally don't believe in divorce. But if my husband did what your wife is doing. I would leave him.
2007-09-03 11:39:00 · answer #1 · answered by Red Rose 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a cat. My doctor actually recommended that and I did. Keep talking to someone. I got a divorce and thought my whole world was over but after a long period of grieving I moved on. Mine also came at a really rough time. I got injured in the Army and was getting medically discharged. My career and family was gone. I did a LOT of drinking. I probably should have died from alcohol poisoning more then once. It just takes time. LOTS of time. It sucks, I know. It gets better though in time. In the meantime find activities of interest and keep busy. Get OUT of the house. I know you don't want to but sitting around gives you time to sit around and feel sorry for yourself. Join a bowling league or something similar and make some good friends if you don't have many. Last year I even did something I swore I would never do. I got married again. I'm even happier then I was the first time and didn't think that was even possible.
2016-05-20 06:19:25 · answer #2 · answered by carmela 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you did all that you can and for the safety of your son and you, either she needs to go or you go. If she really wanted to quit what she is doing, and she already knows what it is doing to you and your son, then she would have done what ever she could do to stop her drinking. She is an abusive wife who really doesn't care about her marriage and family. It doesn't matter to her if you talked to her or if she has gone through re-hab, she is still doing the same things over and over again. She is destroying the family with her drinking and she doesn't want to quit even if it causes pain to you or your son. By her actions, she doesn't want to quit.
But you as a parent, should do what it takes to protect your son from any harm. You did your part, but she is not doing hers. So, what you need to do is sit with her this last time, and explain to her why you and your son are leaving, or if she has to go. She might be upset about your choice, but she has to know that the reason you are going with your son is because it is the right thing to do. She either re-admits herself to a re-hab and is clean for 2 years or so, she needs to prove to you that she will keep herself clean because she wants to stay together as a family. Anotherwards, she needs to be serious and stick to it!
I am just wondering why you didn't do anything about this 4 years ago even if she hasn't changed one bit? You see, you can only do and say so much for your wife, but you cannot change her, she has to want to change herself. She has to be the one to quit her drinking and drugs. She is an abusive wife and mother and needs help. You and your son do not need any of this abuse from her. Only she can help herself, you can only support her.
I am sorry that you didn't see the red flags before marrying her, but she did have baggage probably when you two met. She just kept that from you.
I wish the best for you and your son. Just pray that your wife will realize what she is doing to the family and lets hope she gets herself real help so that you and her can restore the marriage and family.
2007-09-03 11:49:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough call.
How old is the Son?
What is the chance he is getting warped by her behavior being his "normal" surroundings?
Let her know it is becoming a "dealbreaker" and then follow up and break if she doesn't want to get straight.
2007-09-03 11:25:20 · answer #4 · answered by Silly Silly Man 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave her...If only to wake her up. You have to be strong. You have to be firm. If you love her- the moment, days, or weeks is lax compared to a lifetime. Tough Love - she knows what that is - maybe not as it is portrayed, but eventually...she will. One day she will thank you....for You, your Son and her Life.
2007-09-03 11:42:59 · answer #5 · answered by littlemissdaisymae 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely talk to her (when she isn't drinking) and tell her that you can't stay with her unless she gets some help and stops. You should also attend meetings to support you through this. You should not have to live your life this way.
2007-09-03 11:25:32 · answer #6 · answered by anne b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are enabling her to drink by not doing anything but tolerating her alcoholism. She sees no reason to give up the booze when she knows that you will be there when she gets home.
2007-09-03 11:28:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
only you can deside what to do. but you do know it only gets worse as time goes on. its sad that your son has to live with all that drama it will mess up his mind to. you have to deside and stick with that what is best for you and your son. I dont think she will ever change. God Bless
2007-09-03 11:25:42 · answer #8 · answered by tweettreat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave her, it will only get worse until she wants the change.
2007-09-03 12:21:51 · answer #9 · answered by M.D. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what are you doing to drive her to drink? just kidding. make her an ultimatium, her booze or her family. be serious about it.
2007-09-03 11:27:03 · answer #10 · answered by mama2be 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋