I'm sure this question has been asked a lot.
And I don't intend nor want to offend anyone in my question.
With all respect, I'm just trying to learn and understand.
Is this something you did by choice or have you always been this way?
2007-09-03 11:00:26 · 28 answers · asked by Dreamer 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Dear Dreamer,
My only “choice" in the matter was whether to run and hid in the closet to make my family and friends happy, by pretending to be what I wasn’t or to accept who I am.
I tried for a vary long time to do the first. Until I found myself sitting in the chair one day with a .22 in my lap.
It was only with the love of God herself and the help of a good therapist that I made it through that day.
Hugs,
PennyAnn
2007-09-03 11:15:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
Way to open up a can of worms. This is a HUGE issue. There are people who are very animated about both sides. I feel like the only way you'd know whether it is a choice or not is if you are homosexual. I believe that there is a population of gays who choose to act in gay manners because of a lack of testosterone or estrogen and this eventually leads to them choosing some one of the same sex to make up for their lack of the hormone. That is one theory. However, I strongly believe that, for the most part, homosexuality is NOT a choice. I don't think that anyone would purposely ask society to hate them for liking a member of the same sex. I know that I didn't choose to be attracted to boys and girls. I was born attracted to both. That's just how I feel. However, I do think that over time one can become either gay or straight based off of experiences. When I was younger, I was alarmed by the idea of sex with a girl (I'm a girl) because I had no idea what girls do together. Now that I know, I can recognize that this idea is appealing and attractive to me. I don't think I ever consciously chose to like it, just like you never consciously chose to like the idea of sex with the opposite sex. You can argue all you want about it. Every one's opinion is different. I'm not saying mine is right or perfect or anything. It's just my opinion. Some people choose, but the honest ones don't.
2016-05-20 06:09:52 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's interesting the way many heterosexuals often assume being gay is some kind of choice yet they don't consider being heterosexual to be a choice. The commonest response to the idea of choosing to be heterosexual is 'I was just born this way.'
It's exactly the same for those of us who are gay. We are born with an innate sexual attraction to the same sex, not the opposite. From as early as I can remember, I have always been attracted to the same sex and I have never felt any sexual attraction towards women.
I think the idea of being gay as some kind choice comes from a couple of sources - some very flawed but still used research into sexual preference in the '40s, '50s and '60s and as an explanation as to why some men suddenly leave wives, families and begin gay relationships. In the latter case, the only real choice is leaving - being gay was always the case for these men who, for one reason or another, never felt safe to follow their sexual orientation.
2007-09-03 11:11:13 · answer #3 · answered by chris m 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Gays always claim to be "born that way" in order to justify their CHOICE. If they can convince others that they are somehow not responsible - and have no free will of their own - then they can be perceived as being "blameless". If they are "off the hook", so to speak, in terms of doing something which is supposedly "beyond their control", then that means they face less condemnation; i.e., ACCOUNTABILITY - for their actions. Have you ever noticed how ANYONE who commits a wrongdoing will ALWAYS come up with SOME sort of a justification to rationalize their behavior? They do what they do because they LIKE it, and they CHOOSE it, plain and simple. It's an act of rebellion against society, and a statement made to REJECT the opposite sex. In most cases, childhood molestation is at the root of it all, and it causes irreversible damage.
2007-09-03 12:05:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
When I was a teen in school, I never dated, didn't go to any of the social things, and was a loner. The reason for this was that I am a lesbian. I didn't understand it then, but as I matured I discovered women. I did have a boyfriend after high school, had a baby, and still wanted to be with a woman.---- I have never been attracted to men. I don't hate them, they are ok. I just never enjoyed being with one sexually or romantically. So this was not a choice for me, I was born a lesbian.
2007-09-03 11:16:24 · answer #5 · answered by the fnho 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I've always been gay. If it were a choice do you think people would choose a 'lifestyle' where they were discriminated against, beaten or made to feel less of a person for being who they are. Being straight would be easier because you would fit into society's 'norms'. I'm not saying I would ever want to be straight because being gay is all I have ever known, and it 's all I'll ever be.
2007-09-03 11:39:50 · answer #6 · answered by flash 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have herd that it is a series of genetic mistakes, such as; firstborn twins (one is usually gay), or after a parent has had a long line of boys, the youngest usually is gay. how it works is when the dna is made for the first time, it produces more estrogen(the female hormone) in males and testosterone(the male hormone) in females. later in life, the body will still produce the same sex hormone but will also produse the opposite sex hormone in the brain. this means that the body will display opposite sex behavior. so, some people can be "born" gay but people can also choose to ba gay if they want.
2007-09-03 12:25:26 · answer #7 · answered by Alferdos 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll have noticed by now that just about all gay people claim to have been born gay. Straight people have this theory that it's a choice, which they usually base on their OWN religious or philisophical convictions. Who do you suppose knows the truth?
2007-09-03 11:18:41 · answer #8 · answered by Patrick C 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well... Many heterosexuals {if not all} can't help that they are attracted to only the opposite sex. In that same case, homosexuals can't help that they happen to be attracted to the same AND maybe the opposite sex as well. There are some things in life, that people have no control over, whether they wish they had a grip on it or not.
2007-09-03 11:10:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would like to stick up for the poster of this question and say, she has a point--some gay people are gay to be accepted or whatnot, a lot of people I know are that way. But I know most gays are born that way.
Thank you.
2007-09-03 11:45:11 · answer #10 · answered by Candy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋