Somehow it seems that the christian idea of boundaries governs everything. Once married there are 'rules' to stifle natural urges and to dictate behavior in a given situation. Overlooking the fact that life expectancy has dramatically changed in the last 75 years, the modern world seems to take such rule bound scrutiny less and less well. Why can't relationships be based on how much people genuinely like each other and not on fascist demonstrations of love? Not necessarily 'open' marriages, but more forgiving ones that allow for natural impulses seems more human, doesn't it?
2007-09-03 09:08:21 · 10 answers · asked by Sarrafzedehkhoee 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Boundaries are necessary sometimes. If you don't set them, your partner doesn't know when they're crossing them and that leads to behavior that is not beneficial to a relationship. But of course your relationship should be open. Love can be shown in many ways and should be. Rules governing a relationship are stupid. Especially when christianity is involved. It seems like people fall into a trap in which they follow what society says they should be doing instead of what they want to be doing, especially in the bedroom. Where sex is involved, people have to find their own ways to meet their physical needs. There are no rules that govern what pleasures you, except the ones that you decide upon. Happiness can't be had unless your physical needs are being met.
2007-09-03 09:20:45 · answer #1 · answered by B. Nowlin 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well for one, I haven't read too much in the bible about marriage or anything else really. But I say some natural boundaries are ok. Like if the couple is open to experimenting in the bedroom or something they should both talk about it first. And if there are certain things that either partner doesn't wish to do when experimenting that should be fine as well. But I say without any boundaries, people tend to feel and go way too far. I mean say a couple was into trying 3some or whatever. Well they agree to do it one time with someone they both choose. But then the husband or wife takes it upon themselves to pretty much start inviting anyone into it without talking to their spouse and then they start begging for more than one time in doing the 3some. And usually when they can't get their way they start cheating and stuff. I mean I know people should have complete understanding before going into situations. But still no one really thinks the person they love would take things to the max. So I say some no one is being taken for granted or anything its best to simply set up rules or boundaries as to what is cool and what isn't. Cause without them its more than a little obvious someone is going to feel ran over and then there is a divorce around the corner. So all natural allowances are gone then.
2007-09-03 09:25:43 · answer #2 · answered by Cursed_Romantic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If someone doesn't believe in a higher being, be it (God, Allah, Buddha, or whomever you worship), then who are we to judge them.
For some folks having an open marriage works. Some people actually thought about the vows they took and changed them to suit their personality, beliefs, etc. Mine didn't say forsake all others. Your vows may have, so it's wrong for you. I've been married 21yrs and we still love each other very much. There is no harm with experimenting as long as all agree and rules are established before hand.
Just because you are open to the idea doesn't mean you will jump into bed with just anyone. We have been very selective and for the most part we have had a great time. We aren't doing it everyday, just every once in a while when the mood arises.
2007-09-03 09:21:44 · answer #3 · answered by M M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion "boundaries" work because they help to maintain some level of individuality, I believe that marriage should be a group effort and that both people should work as a unit without having to lose their seperate identities. Now that's just my opinion and if you ask other people probably view "boundaries" as something else. Depends on who you are...which make your question a difficult one for me. For one what is your definition of the term "boundaries" because it seems like you correlate the term "boundaries" and the term "rules". Your saying that your ideal doesn't necessarily apply to "open" marriages, but what are you talking about if not infidelty. Can you give another example of a behavior? I mean what "rules" are you talking about exactly?
2007-09-03 09:25:16 · answer #4 · answered by darknangelic77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clarification is needed. Within the bonds of marriage, ur spouse is the one ur supposed to be having relations with. The one, the only. That has very little to do with religion. Even non religious folks who are married find infidelity a crime of passion. It's wrong! And if u have to justify it, u think it's wrong too. Only a person who realizes the pain of a broken heart, and broken bonds will understand the pain of infidelity and try never to do it to another human being. Marriage was instituted for a reason. So was the idea that one man and one woman should be together. But people ignore these reasons and go and do what they want...then are surprised when stuff doesn't work out wonderfully.
2007-09-03 09:18:43 · answer #5 · answered by Uncertain Soul 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
relationship do have obstacles, by way of fact, there are limits to relationship. once you bypass previous the obstacles reported, you're able to be able to finally end up in grounds which you does no longer desire to be, and optimistic would possibly no longer get out of it without being harm for the duration of the technique. the clarification why obstacles have been placed, is using the fact relationship is step one in understanding the historic past of the guy you're relationship and vice versa. relationship is understanding the different individual character, habit, likes and don't likes etc., and relationship is step one to having a courting.
2016-10-09 21:25:18 · answer #6 · answered by vail 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is about wanting to commit to another person becasue you love them and want to honor them by your trust and actions to them. You want to love them and never want to hurt them, your idea of giving into urges and things like that don't work. If you marry the right person and love them, they will take care of your urges and be there for them. Love is not about sex. Sex is a bonus that comes with someone you love. As far as life expectancy, it was alot more in biblical times. People lived for hundreds of years then.
2007-09-03 09:33:05 · answer #7 · answered by The Wižard 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you want to have sex with more than one person, then don't get married. The idea of marriage is to be with someone you love and want to be with. Marriage is to have a family, not be a parent that only visits every other weekend. If you don't know for sure if you want to be with this person for the rest of your life, then don't get married. If you don't want the possibility of having kids, then have it snipped.
2007-09-03 09:17:57 · answer #8 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sorry sugar, you're not going to get many people to buy into your "cheating is a natural urge" bs...serial monogamy is more likely to work, than cheating....
although open marriages, swinging, and polyamory are options too many have been brainwashed by their church into thinking these things are evil...
2007-09-03 09:13:58 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
If you are talking about infidelity, that is never acceptable. NEVER!
2007-09-03 09:11:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋