He is married, I am divorced, we both realize we can't be more than friends. He said he is my friend for life and even if he got a new job, he'd still meet for coffee and stay in contact because true friendship lasts forever no matter the circumstance. I don't understand why he is suddenly saying it has to be a work friendship. In the past when he gets really busy he has blown me off, but then a week or two goes by and everything is cool again. Wondering if this is just a repeat of past events and he'll still be my good friend despite what he said in a not so nice manner the other day... I never even did anything wrong!!
2007-09-03 05:00:44 · 9 answers · asked by blondie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
He is married - he is not able to be your good friend. That is unless his wife knows about the situation and is O.K. with this. Some friends you have for life, some you have for a season, and some are there for a reason and then they are gone. This isn't your for life friend.
2007-09-03 05:05:46 · answer #1 · answered by curiouscanadian 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Life is like a bus journey, some drop off at different stops halfway while others ride with you till the end. As for your case, I don't really think he gotten up the bus with you yet. During work, it's always nice to find someone to hang out with and its sort of a motivation for people to go to work because they have great friends as their colleagues. However, your friend might make a great colleague, but not as a life-long friend. His situation doesn't allow him to take the friendship to another level. He has his wife's feelings to consider, I think most women would not feel happy if their husbands are close to their lady friends. I guess at times, people might 'forget' their situation *like being married* and they had taken a step closer, but all of sudden they'd be aware of it and took the step back. It wasn't intentional and definitely not yr fault.
2007-09-03 05:19:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are expecting too much from this man. It could cause problems with him and his wife. You need to back off. I think you know you are tempting him with impure thoughts andhe is wise to straight up tell you work friends and no more. Leave him alone except at the job and find an available guy not in a relationship to have coffee with in your free time.
2007-09-03 05:06:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy, this is SO weird, I nearly posted the same kind of question! My guess is he is realizing that his feelings for you are more than friendly, and he's trying to control himself. He is probably a decent guy, and doesn't want to put either of you in a bad place by letting things get deeper and deeper. My best advice to you is let him have the space he needs. You know you have feelings for him. or this wouldn't be eating at you enough to ask the question.
If he decided to leave his wife, would you want to date him? Ask yourself that question. If the answer is yes, please walk away right now, cos he is going to break your heart if you continue to see him as a "friend".
2007-09-03 05:09:46 · answer #4 · answered by homebuyer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he realizes your friendship is a strain on his marriage. Working relationships limit the scope of the contact, no encroaching on personnal, home life. And perhaps it was at the request of his spouse who is feeling threatened.
So let him guide the friendship or you could lose that too.
2007-09-03 05:06:13 · answer #5 · answered by banananose_89117 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you so needy. This guy is not your friend. As much as you may want him to be, he is not your friend. Get over it and go out into the real world and make new friendships with other people. Put yourself out there. Good luck.
2007-09-03 05:06:32 · answer #6 · answered by FILE 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he likes you more then friend and suddenly realized it and doesn't want to ruin things with his wife. So hes backing off to save his marriage and yours and his friendship.
2007-09-03 05:07:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never even did anything wrong!!?????????
we all have done wrong things
maybe you mean nothing intentionally wrong, I might even almost beleive that sometimes after a few beers even
maybe you and he are emotional sparring partners and spirit helpers
2007-09-03 05:57:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
too much wondering, either it is or it isn't...
2007-09-03 05:07:45 · answer #9 · answered by 2sexxxy32 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋