Were you ever considered ugly and then i changed? Did/Can it shape you?

Question

..a 'duck turned swan'?

Ive been considered ugly for most part of my life. I sang a popular song at school at the time and a girl scolded me and went 'eww, hes singing my favourite song, yuck'. Been told im too skinny, hair too geeky and even be 'who would end up marrying the loser (me)' in those bottle spinning things. Wow, it sucked, but i got used to it.

Then, puberty came. I got stronger and looks changed and girls started noticing me. The girl above also started liking me and said that my hair nerdy and didnt know i was hot beneath it.

Needless to say, hot or not, ive been shaped (or scarred?) too much by the past. So, I try my best to be a nice and decent fellow after seeing how badly people treat others due to looks. Im rather introverted as a result, and i still find it hard to deal being me. I blush when complimented,etc. Im no wuss though.

Has anyone else experienced such a thing and did it shape your life? Does it affect people's view of me being like this?

Answer 1

This is a pretty common occurence...and you will see it alot if you come across school pictures of some of the most attractive people in Hollywood - so you aren't alone.

The only thing that I would suggest is that you be very careful not to foster any feelings of resentment for past treatments. Recognize the shallowness of it, but don't let it fester. Confidence will come in time, and I hope that your past experiences will allow you to look beyond the superficial. There are some incredible swans out there, trapped in ugly duckling feathers...

Answer 2

The fact that you were a little nerdy in school probably has been a good thing to happen.. now that you are an adult... and good looking... you have the brains and the looks.... and there is no one that you cannot relate to... this gives you the upper hand in every social situation.. this makes you sensitive, caring, loving, experienced, attractive, and smart. Most people that grow up as the most popular and making fun of people stay that way... and they become ******* as adults. I think that being made fun of in school is something that sucks at the time... but the amount of life lessons that it teaches, and the tools that it gives you for the "real world" makes it worth it. The reason that you are introverted is because you are comparing yourself with the rest of the world... which the majority of the people are *******. Being introverted isn't a bad thing.. just because it isn't as common as being a loud-mouth-****** really doesn't make you an outsider.... it makes everyone else an outsider.

Answer 3

Although this question fits most appropriately in psychology, and not sociology, i like the question. and the answer is yes it can shape your psyche. Given the main stream sociology of your media driven society, that defines physical beauty via TV, magazine and billboard advertisements, carried into our schools and and public places with the body and mouth of those minds that have been guided by said media creates a contempt for those not fitting the criteria of that beauty, thus in order to achieve a social standing with in the herd one that doesn't fit the criteria must pull from resources that also define a model person that has been defined though multiple environmental influences, such as intelligence, care, respect, and other qualities that the before mentioned herd finds enjoyable as a companionable peer. Then when such fashion/physical outcast turns into a swan from the ugly duckling and fits the considered beauty criteria with a psyche has developed a more suitable brain function for societal interaction therefore achieves the "entire package" that the previously mentioned media sources attempted to create in the first place, because being that you were once unattractive, you aren't going to be a penis to those that dont fit a status of beauty.

REAL Gz DON'T DIE NICKA

Answer 4

I feel exactly the same as you
At school I was told I was 'really ugly' and people would say uuurrrh at me and if I got a boyfriend, people wpuld say why are you going out with her.
Now I ahve changed but I still get called ugly.
Having said that everyone I have been out with has been good looking. I am now told I am 'pretty' 'gorgeous'
' really stunning'
One boy even said to me' look at you now you've really changed. You used to be hideous'
Nice backhanded compliment there.
Like you I feel scarred by my past and I'm never really sure when people are genuine or not. But recently I've had so much positive feedback I feel better.
I think the key is to love yourself it is easier said then done. You can't change what people think of you and you really shouldn't worry!
It sounds to me you should be proud of who you are!
Good luck!
x

Answer 5

yes i was fat till graduating high school then was skinny with an eight pack lets just say i used them like they used me but in the end it caught up and well im overwieght again but ill tell you if you still have respect for those who suffer like you did never make fun of the ugly ones cause that could always happen to you or anyone i dont believe in karma but i do belive in what goes around coes around ill never make fun again i hope that those who feel like they have the worlds most perfect bodys relize that looks are decieving

Answer 6

i hope you never give the girl that said that the time of day