Why do some black people who prefer to date non black people feel the need to tell everyone?

Question

Everytime, I hear a black person say I prefer to date this race of people or that race people, I always wonder whether or not that truely is their prefrence and they are truely looking for love or if they have other motives and insecurities. I always feel like some of them are defending their prefrence but if that's your prefrence then it is, you cant control who you are attracted to. So, why do people feel the need to defend their prefrence or broadcast it to the world?

blueladyblue r- please delete your answer. You did not even come close to answering my question. And I said some not all and I am asking because I know quite a few black people that do this. And I am not white, I am half white and half black, since you must know. Get a life loser.

You also obviously didnt read the entire post, I didnt say there was anything wrong with it.

Gloryus- I completely understand saying it when we are talking about that topic. But when we are not talking about it, it is completely annoying. Last night I was talking to my brother and his best friend about Prom and out of no where this kids goes "well I am taking a white girl with me because I love them" WTF, does that have to do with the cost of tea in China?

blueladyblue r- Please go away. Sexy lady chocolate made a really good point and actually ANSWERED the damn question. You on the other hand cant seem to even understanf the question and you are throwing around accusations and you dont know a damn thing about me.

Answer 1

I see what you mean, but I say it often, usually in reference/answer to a question regarding interracial relationships or race relations. I think I have a right to express my thoughts about interracial dating and I also promote interracial dating involving black women, so I guess writing that out often sends a subliminal message?

Answer 2

Let me start off by saying this, I'm a good black woman engaged to a GOOD black man, not a stupid thug, so please don't assume otherwise. With that being written, dating thugs isn't a black woman thing! You do realize there are different looks to thuggish men and the "hood rap' look is not the standard one. There are multiple factors why a woman, black or not, choose to date them. The good news when these women grow up, she gets fed up being a emotional and physical punching bag. At least she learn the error of her ways and willing to change her taste in men. Now if the (older) black woman refuse to find a worthy man that's her fault. I often wondered to myself, why I hear this from black men whom OFTEN blaming the black women? I don't hear a white guy saying they are fed up with every white woman. The closest thing I've heard they will date NON AMERICAN, and most aren't specific on what race they are referring to regarding American women. So tell me, why all black women are at fault because a few refused to date you? Now here's the brutal truth, if you are not at least conventionally attractive or handsome, then most women will not drop the panties directly at you. It's unbelievable how many "rejects" want a woman with Beyonce's face and Serena Williams body and refuse to settle what he CAN get and most likely pass up a girl because she isn't "all that" in his eyes. You can't be picky if you have little to offer in the looks department unless you're loaded with cash.Even if you are reasonably attractive and getting rejected, there must be something about your vibe that is "off." Women love bad boys because of their confidence and assertiveness they present to the world despite their negative ways. I don't know you but amp up your confidence if it is your issue; some people need to gain personal development to improve their self. You don't need to be physically attractive to gain charm or confidence either. If you still cannot understand what I said or refuse to, then I can only come up with one thing: You prefer nonblack women all along and using every excuse to say black women want nothing but assholes. Sometimes people need to be honest with themselves instead of pointing fingers at others (black women) to rationalize their anger.

Answer 3

Some people feel the need to broadcast it because it gives them a boast or that it makes them special usually I notice this when someone is dating interracially for the first time. It is like they are bragging because they are dating someone of a different race instead of dating the person for the right reasons and motives. Usually people who mostly date or is in a interracial relationship don't feel the need to broadcast it. I never felt the need to mention I was in a IR but let people find out on their own. But if their is a time where I need to talk about the topic and defend myself, that is when I state it and my opinion.

Answer 4

I also know people like that. I personally feel that racial prefrence is silly anyways. Why limit yourself to one race of people? I prefer to keep my options open. Those who dont or "broadcast it to the world" usually do have some type of insecurity. It could be that the other race of people is within their comfort zone. In any case it is very annoying.

Kei- Stop argueing with that chick. Its not worth it, hun.

Answer 5

It was not too long ago that Americans could not and did not want to see dark skinned man with a white woman. they muerded and hanged for that.
perhaps now, these days, it is more of a physiological thing. "I'm with an white person, and what" kind of deal. it could very well be because of insecurities too...I can agree With you there.

Answer 6

I agree...I understand that you may prefer (or want ) to be with another (or certain) race...but do you have to say it ALL of the time???

I have a friend that ALWAYS talks about how she only dates white men..I'm starting to wonder if she would rather be white than black...but I think something is wrong with her because that's all she ever talks about.lol

Answer 7

These questions are too much just dare who you are attracted to, everyone thinks about these issues way to much. Just like who you like and date

Answer 8

i get what you are saying. i myself date IR but im like gloryus. i only say it (and then sometimes i dont say it at all) when it's that certain type of question. I dont try to promote anything or of the matter, though. but some people say it because, they are just attracted to their features and characteristics, that's all. i do agree with you that some people do get carried away.

Answer 9

OK ^5, To SexyChocolate ... I'm with what she said ... I stand strong behind what she's saying ... there are some differences there just a bit ... I have had great black men in my life (when I was dating them) and where we live, it's normal to see an interracial couple but other than that, I'm with her ~wink~

Answer 10

Well in all honesty in my real life I don't tell everyone, like "oh I'm dating a white guy" but here when you see questions saying things like "all black women are jealous of white women dating black men" then I feel it necessary to say "hey! wait a minute! not all of us." When I see questions various questions like the one stated and others in some way saying that I as a black american woman am running after, crying over, or upset about black men not wanting me, or white women dating black men, or our (black women's) inability to find a match. I feel as a black woman that I have to say hey, I have a man, if the question is racially highlighted I will say my honey's race. Yes I am proud of my man, not because he's white but because he is a good, kind, honest loving man which is what I have always asked to creator for.

You say that you feel that some of us are defending their preference. Well to be honest everytime I go out with my honey I feel as if we are defending our right to be together. In the town in which I reside, interracial dating is the norm, however, as a black woman whenever I am with my honey and we go places everyone stares at us because it is unusual to see a black woman with someone who is not black, especially white. I have black men, white women and black women, who shoot looks, say things under their breathe, I have had black men who have tried and have attempted to rape me in my lifetime all because they felt offended that I was dating a white man, as if that would make me want a black one. You are absolutely right I can't control whom I'm attracted to, however, their are still people on here who get upset about my choice, our choice to see each other and their are many people like you and me who read this I want to present my side of the debate.

Futhermore, I would like to state that you asked question about black people dating non-black people, but you didn't state anything about white women or men who date non-white women or men and they too askt he same questions and speak of their relationships. Thier are asians and latino's who do the same. Their are christians who wear the religion on thier shoulder and atheists who put them down. Yahoo answers is a site where people question, answer, defend & debate so you will find many people saying many things.