i need some helps...
2007-09-03 02:03:35 · 16 answers · asked by misshuynh91 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
I am a Capricorn and a loner. Some consider me cold and that's OK. I will never be standing behind you slobbering down your neck and mushing over you. It doesn't mean I don't care about you, all of you because I do. I believe in let and let live. Not a groupy by anyone's standards. But if you ever truly need me I'll be there. Please don't judge me too harshly or too quickly and I will do the same for you. Love ya!
2007-09-05 08:11:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you're not long on details, I'll just say that "cold" people are generally emotionally unavailable, extremely shy, or stunted in their social skills to be more outgoing.
They could also have been raised by very stoic, strict parents in a highly rigid atmosphere.
Try to find out the history of the person to better understand them and some of the why's that make them seem "cold" or distant. It's not entirely outside of the realm of possiblities that they are victims or frightened.
Space and time, gentleness in your nature around them, accept them just as they are. Be thoughtful and patient.
Routine, and dependability are crucial to getting their trust.
Be a friend in the same way you'd want one.
But if you can't manage to find out what makes this person tick, you'll never be able to get close to them on the level you desire.
2007-09-05 06:42:17 · answer #2 · answered by autumlovr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really good question. The best thing to do with a really cold person is not say anything first. Just sit or stand next to them until they start the conversation. Then that allows you to ask questions about anything they say. ie "Why are you standing there?" "Oh you don't want me standing here?" NO "Ok why not?" "I don't want to talk about it go away." "Would it help you if I went away?" Eventually they get so exhausted of keeping a wall up they let it down. The Movie Good Will hunting shows how this is done.
2007-09-03 03:47:35 · answer #3 · answered by Steve G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion to you is never try to force your friendship on anyone. Naturally you leave a door open to allow others to approach you, but when someone does not want your friendship, leave it alone. There are many reason why some people are like that. I don't try to be friends with anyone. If they happen, great, if not I don't even think about it. Not all person are alike.
I like NCGRL approach, very private and don't allow many people into your life. I follow the same rule. I don't have friends outside of the work place. My wife is my best friend.
2007-09-03 03:25:44 · answer #4 · answered by Tinman12 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, begin speaking to them, even if they don't respond.
Then smile at them when you see them.
Then say hello and walk on by.
Eventually they will realize you are not trying to do them harm. Don't ever touch them because some people are afraid of being touched.
At lot of people who appear cold are really just frightened and very shy.
Don't give up. Keep trying. I am reminded of Dione Warwick's song "Keep trying, keep trying, you can always count on me, for sure, that's what friends are for" and can't remember all the words right now, but is very appropriate for a friend.
2007-09-03 08:07:37 · answer #5 · answered by makeitright 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to become friends with a cold person? It's easier to go after some low hanging fruit elsewhere.
2007-09-03 08:27:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I, also agree with ncgl. You may be sorry if you persue a friendship with a cold person. They may not have it in them to be a friend nor want a friend.
2007-09-03 03:40:49 · answer #7 · answered by Southern Comfort 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
patience and perserverance...people are not necessarily cold, but many are very cautious in giving their love....Loving is no great feat..we can love a rock...but gaining love is the real test of a person. I am not particularly superstitious, but I have found the hardest people to get to love you are Capricorns...they are very reserved..but once you prove to them you are there and will be there, they love very intensely, and do so for a lifetime.
2007-09-03 04:57:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have to find a way to break the wall that they put up between other people and their self, find out what they like and give it to them so they can realize what a good friend you would be .and no matter how much they reject you keep trying
2007-09-03 05:32:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep being friendly with them it takes a little while longer with some folks that are "stand offish". Just be kind, it's hard to turn down kindness.
2007-09-03 03:22:13 · answer #10 · answered by Conrey 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋