I have a friend who is almost like a brother. [Joe] I have no problem with him. But his friends are another story. They say perverted things to me everytime I call or im Joe. They grab the phone from Joe and say things like "I love you will you marry me?" "I wanna have sex with you!" or "You are a hottie with a body!"
Then they laugh.
And just yesterday, I imed Joe and his friend said to me "I wanna rape you so hard you sh.it on my testicles."
that was it. I don't think it's funny. At ALL. How do I deal with this crap?
BTW, they are all about 14 years old.
2007-09-03 01:55:52 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Poor you, you have no choice but to speak to Joe and tell him if he can't control his friends you don't want to speak to him or IM him if there's any chance they can take over the conversation.
Tell him how it feels to be threatened with rape, if he can't see how upsetting it is then he's not the man you think he is.
Did you keep the instant message about the rape? Honey, if my daughter showed me something like that I'd ask a nice constable to go and have a 'chat' with this lad. Threatening to rape a young woman is a criminal offence in itself. If this lad thinks this kind of talk is funny who knows what other boundaries he's prepared to push?
At the very least, even if you didn't keep the conversation, you can ask Joe to pass on to his friend that your parents/guardian have got a copy of the message and are deciding what to do about it.
That should scare them enough to leave you alone. Also tell him that if any harm ever comes to you they'll come straight to him and his friends after a threat like that has been made, then you won't have to worry about pay-back for telling your parents.
If you don't want to tell your parents try telling a teacher or school counsellor/nurse what was said.
You must tell somebody for your own protection.
Teenage boys are notoriously bad at judging limits, what they talk about amongst themselves sometimes spills over into conversations with adults and females and they mean no harm. However, they do need to learn that this behaviour is not acceptable.
2007-09-03 02:20:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Maybe I'm old fashioned but if Joe was your friend he would step up to the plate and tell his friends to drop it.This type of talk is not funny and puts you in an awkward position.You may not want to appear that you can't take a joke and Joe probably doesn't want to appear like he isn't cool.However it is never cool to hurt someone or embarass them.If they say rude things to you just firmly tell them you don't like them talking like that.Don't worry what they think of you, these guys are more worried about impressing their male friends than you.If they do not respect your wishes don't be around them.Do you really think you will miss them?
2007-09-03 09:38:09 · answer #2 · answered by gussie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get Joe alone and talk to him. Tell him that he's a really great friend but, if his friends keep acting the way they are, you won't be able to hang out with him anymore.
2007-09-03 12:14:04 · answer #3 · answered by I'mAJamieLawrenceFanGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell Joe that you cannot continue to be friends with him if his friends are going to treat you that way. Demand some respect for yourself now! You don't deserve that. These boys are immature, but they also sound a little dangerous. Is that normal now for boys to threaten to rape girls? That is pretty scary. You should tell your mom. What if he does rape you or some other girl?
2007-09-03 10:29:58 · answer #4 · answered by alikat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just need to ignore them. They just want to get a rise out of you! Also your friend shouldn't be "letting" them take the phone and say those things. He should be standing up for you if he is a real friend. I think you need to talk to him and let him know that if it continues that you won't be iming him or talking on the phone with him anymore.
2007-09-03 09:08:54 · answer #5 · answered by ♥countrygal♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know wht you mean, some boys can be so cruel, did u ask him to talk to his friends, tell him that they really bother you, and it's hard to hang out or call joe, if they are doing that to you. say that you think that it's gross. just tell him to talk to his friends, he'll understand. if he's really like a brother to you. twll him this, joe, your friends are always insulting me and saying things that make me uncomftorable, could you tell them to not grab the phone away and say rude things, or im me anymore. thanks it would really help.
2007-09-03 09:37:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not call him or talk to him when these boys are around. They are trouble. Stay far away from them and just hang with Joe when they are not around.
2007-09-03 09:53:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think its just the maturity level...boys at that age are just really immature...talk to joe about it but around the other guys act like it doesn't bother you because if they stop getting a reaction out of you they will move on and stop doing it hopefully!
2007-09-03 10:05:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like Joe might like you, and his friends know it and just want to screw with him.
Just let them know that you don't want them to say that kind of stuff.
2007-09-03 10:37:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ehh... thats not fun. i'd just talk to joe about it...and let him know that its bugging you and you just wanna be friends w/ him...and not his friends. i know its hard, but it will pay off in the end.
2007-09-03 09:08:02 · answer #10 · answered by Britta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋