Which is better to become friends, or just keep it all at a distance? We will be sharing the same room for 6 mos to a year. There's also an 8 yr age gap. It's the very 1st time I'll ever be living with someone for that long. I'm a bit nervous about it but due to financial constraints, I had to split the room rental with someone else.
2007-09-03 01:11:32 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Take baby steps and let everything develop naturally. Whatever will be will be. Don't worry about your financial constraints and you will not have any bias in either direction since that is totally YOUR responsibility.
2007-09-03 01:15:53 · answer #1 · answered by basport_2000 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The whole friends/not friends issue matters a lot less than you'd think as long as you have a decent working relationship. It's really pretty hit or miss whether you'll be friends with a roommate. I prefer to live with friends, but some people don't and your new roommate might be one of them.
But you definitely need to have a conversation about ground rules before any problems come up. Things like when is it okay to have guests over, and if the food in the fridge is personal or up for grabs, or who does the cleaning can become major issues if it turns out you both assumed different answers.
2007-09-03 08:30:46 · answer #2 · answered by Tickled_off 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get to know her (or him).
I have friends ranging from 20 years older than me to 10 years younger. You won't like the same things or even be interested in everything the other has to say. You don't have to be best friends but, trust me, it makes living together a heck of a lot easier if you can at least feel comfortable with each other. It will also make it easier to deal with any troubles that come up if you make nice. It's easier to ask a friend to turn down the music or not have so many friends over than it is a stranger.
She (or he) is as nervous as you. Make yourself and your roommate feel more comfortable by trying to be friends, even if only casual friends.
2007-09-03 08:22:40 · answer #3 · answered by ophelliaz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you in a situation where one person is moving into another's home or are you getting a place together.
If you are getting a place together then you need to sit down and establish some guidelines or rules.
-It's very important do establish how the various bills are going to be handled (does one pay electric and another pays phone or do you split down the middle).
-Establish rules for common spaces in terms of who gets to use it and when - is it first come first server or do you each have designated times.
-How are you going to split up household chores? Does one person take care of the bathroom and vacuuming while the other does the kitchen and trash or do you clean after yourself.
-One of the most important things is establishing ground rules for when friends visit. Do they have to leave by a certain time, are certain areas of the house off limit, etc.
-Establish ground rules for personal property and privacy. Do you each buy your own food or do you contribute to a grocery fund and shop together. Are each other's towels and linens off limits to the other? Does one have the right to ask the place to themselves for entertaining?
If one of you is moving into the other's house, then it's important for the one who is moving in to abide by certain rules of the house. The person who already lived there needs to establish ground rules for the issues stated above as well as being very firm about when bills are due and what the new comer's share will be.
In either situation, I think it's very important to establish and open line of communication and to be respectful of the other.
As for the type of relationship to have, that's up to you and your comfort level. I would at least make the effort to be friends and try to include the other with your friends. But unless it comes naturally, I would avoid trying to be BFFs.
When I first moved out of my mom's house, I moved in with 2 roommates and it took less than 4 months for things to go VERY wrong. For this reason, I would NEVER get involved with a roommate situation again. But I have known people who did it for years without a problem.
2007-09-03 08:30:15 · answer #4 · answered by Justin H 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask a question, or her advice about clothing. If she is older, then she will have a different outlook, on what to wear. If she is younger, she might be able to offer a youthful point of view. Try to respect her judgment, and when asked give her an honest opinion about things.
2007-09-03 08:21:20 · answer #5 · answered by Beau R 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to 'buddy' up, but don't distance yourself. Just act natural. Think of it as a professional, working relationship. You don't make EVERYONE at work your buddy, but you try to stay on good terms with them, and every so often, you make a good friend. The same applies to roommates.
2007-09-03 08:19:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. Be a good listener.
2. Ask the other person occasional about, what he/she has
told you (like the parents health or so).
3. Be always on the cheerful side.
4. People love to hear their name and talk about themselves
2007-09-03 08:22:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Totally start out as friends, this may be the best period of your life. Not many ppl look back on life and say "wow, i'm glad I made a particular decision".
2007-09-03 09:16:58 · answer #8 · answered by Voltaire's book Candide 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Become friends, so you can be in control of your world. Why walk in your room and have unnecessary stress. But polite and ask if you both can review cost and payouts.
2007-09-03 08:25:09 · answer #9 · answered by honker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help them out.
Like offer to cook, share a meal or lend them something they don't have.
It's a great way to start off on the right foot.
They'll appreciate you and hopefully return the favour and then you'll be on your way to being friends. :)
2007-09-03 08:23:55 · answer #10 · answered by jasjennbabe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋