How do I convince my cat that reading would be good for his education?

Question

Hello there: this question concerns my cat, Casper, or Dr Hamley-Cunningham as he prefers to be called.

The good Doctor has recently taken a liking to fine literature and regularly sits in my favourite armchair by the fire of an evening, smoking a meershaum of fine cherry tobacco and enjoying a snifter of brandy. He likes to wear my smoking jacket, which looks quite ridiculous as, being a cat, he needs two more sleeves to effectively accomodate all of his limbs.

He has also started borrowing my car without prior consent and has, on more than one occassion, threatened me with part-exchanging it for a scratching post unless I feed him caviar instead of Felix. Apparently the gentleman's club does not look kindly upon members with unkept claws.

Whilst I can handle his unruly behaviour (he is awfully polite to my mother), he insists on reading because it is part of the image of the aristocratic class, rather than an educational tool; what can I do to convince him otherwise?

PS: Unfortunately the good Doctor has caught me red-handed writing this question, and has insisted that I invite all answerers round for dinner tonight- he is quite the cook and can cater for most tastes, although his poached salmon is unmatched. Dress code is black tie. RSVP.

Answer 1

I would love to come and meet your cat, sounds like a real gentleman, is he single??????

Answer 2

lol! Dr Hamley-Cunningham sounds like a proper gentleman cat, and i think you should encourage his love of literature by buying him all of the classics and discussing the themes later on over a glass of his favourite brandy.
You need to take a firm hand with him however over the matter of the car, tell him that it's most unbecoming to be demanding and that he can sharpen his claws on any old bit of plank and the other club members need not know.

Answer 3

Tell him that even the Royal Family had to be schooled, and so education is a must for any aristocratic cat. He can't be seen to not undestand basic principles of the world. His fellows at the Gentleman's Club would have a field day if they knew that he wasn't educated! (look at Brian, in Family Guy when he got to write for that very important newspaper and they found out that he was a college dropout!)

I would be delighted to come to dinner, but unfortunately I have made other arrangements for tonight (It's our monthly debate night. It's (our parrot) Samuel Mereworth III's turn to start us off tonight. Can't wait!

Answer 4

Set aside some reading time for the doc. Get him his own smoking jacket and a pipe. Light a fire in the fireplace, pour him a nice brandi and read him some Poe.

Answer 5

Hmm - paws for thought.
Does it matter why he is reading? If you really feel that he should think of it as educational not as a status symbol, then you need to make it sound as if he came up with the idea himself. Perhaps some sort of subliminal messaging might help? What about interspersing 'reading is educational not material' or words to that effect on his favourite cd (classical i would imagine) when he's driving...

Answer 6

The University of Mid Glamorgan are offering a 4 year BA(Hons) in the Benefits of Reading for Educational Purposes.
Dogs and cats welcome to apply but unfortunately goldfish are excluded at the present time.

Answer 7

i'm satisfied this is risk-free for yours there. this is not for ours right here in the US. I stay in a quiet community. we've an extremely busy street north people by employing a million/2 a block which you will see that ineffective cats and canine on countless instances a week. we've people who velocity up on our highway to attempt to hit an animal. we've pit bull earrings in the area so people grab unfastened pets as training fodder for those canine to instruct them to kill. we've youngsters who come into your back backyard to get your puppy, and in case you confront them they say 'is that cat unfastened?', we've unfastened canine that kill cats (all of the ferals are frightened of canine) and we've coyotes getting into the area at present who kill and consume cats and small canine. I stay in the midst of a sizable city - Milwaukee - and there is two coyotes i've got seen approximately 4 miles from me. I feed the strays right here, and do TNR. basically one cat we've TNR'd has lived previous 4 years outdoors. he's enormously flighty and could run on the incorrect circulation, on the instant and rapid--it rather is possibly why he continues to be alive. average age of a highway cat right it rather is a million a million/2 to two years previous before they die. i do no longer stay in a foul area, yet it rather is what all of the strays and ferals could attempt to stay with. this is advantageous that yours can stay over 15 years outdoors, despite the fact that if this is only no longer what we are seeing right here.

Answer 8

Hello excuse me is there a Psychiatrist in the house
what are you on mate ??
There are some frighteningly bizzare and very odd people on here at times makes you wonder what they are like ain real life eh ??
Baz

Answer 9

Get him some cookery books, that way he will realise that his hobby and his pretension can be combined to his betterment. Hopefully this will generalise itself to other reading matter. Dont let him overdo it though, it may damage his eyesight - and theres nothing more ridiculous than a cat in glasses.

Answer 10

this might be a problem. education is a first in every cat's life. i suggest reading him poems or murder mysteries -- both are a delight to experience. the Doctor's life will expand rapidly. and of course i'll attend dinner, should i dress formal or casual?

Answer 11

Sounds like a treat, count me in. My ferret just gave his 2 week notice at work so I'm going to have to travel cheap to get there.