Is it true that we should care more about someone's intentions rather than their promises or words?

Question

Elaborate on answers.

I agree that actions are real, but then it is usually too late and we wonder why they did it. If we know the intentions that someone acted on or even did not act on, then we will have a better idea of whether their intentions were helpful or harmful. I know this sounds cynical but I sometimes wonder why people do certain things, good or bad.

I asked this question, because I think that sometimes people think that someone's actions are perceived to be bad. In other words, sometimes what we perceive to be bad by the doer, might be good intention in the doer. Like when a parent says "I am doing this for your own good." or "I am not going to buy you that because I think it is bad for you to have." Even though we think that the person's actions are bad, the intention by the doer may be good. Sometimes these things are misunderstood by both parties.

Answer 1

First of all, you should never use the word "should".
Second, intentions ans actions are not always going to match up. Sometimes people are deceitful, some times people make mistakes, sometimes through a stoke of luck things work out when they could have gone horribly wrong. There are no definite answers to this question, but it is brilliant of you to ask, very thought provoking!

Answer 2

No. The reason I'm saying no is because you hear words and promises, but you can not hear intentions. When someone makes a promise their only intention should be to keep it.
When someone is using hurtful words, you hear them and they hurt. This persons intention is to hurt you.
These things are obvious, but intentions that are not voiced are not always so obvious. Parents saying no isn't what I'd consider hurtful. Parents saying "this is for your own good", should go on and explain why they are doing what they are doing. Not argue, but explain so the child will understand, if not now, then later on in life.
Hope this helps. Good luck.

Answer 3

Intentions are the truth of actions,
Words are just that words.
Unfortunatly when someone has ill intentions, but speak as if good....we dont find the truth til after the fact.
This is how we learn. We can learn through experience whether good or bad the body language, behavior of those that have whatever intention

Ie...Say someone says,,,,to the extreme,,,,I love you....there actions go totally against the words....but they still claim love.
We know if a person loves us there will be an inkling of action to show it.

Their intentions are one not to be alone,,,maybe financial.
Intenetions that do not have your best interest at heart.

Another,,,,,You run into an old friend,,,,they say call me sometime....you call and they dont retrun your call.
Why do they say call me,,,,,,I think well it works both ways.
Inevitably,,,,all I have run into like this,,,,old friends, acquaintances.....same thing,,
So,,When someone say s Call me somtime I know the game.
I say to them here is my number,,,,if you dont hear from me give me a call....
I think there are also those that have good intenetions but never follow trhough,,,,,,saying well it was the thought that counts...not caring that it has an affect on others and they show themselves to be undependable.

this help?

Answer 4

You know, at one point in my life I would have said yes. However I now have a family member who has consistently promised my daughter things, and they were made with good intentions, but 90% of the time it ends up with her being disappointed. Good intentions or not, you can't always go back on your word and expect everyone to forgive you time and again.

By the way - the deal breaker with this family member was when she promised to attend graduation and the night before I had to console my duaghter as she sobbed after hearing that "No, she wasn't going to go after-all".

Answer 5

Actions speak louder then words, I think rings true, in most
cases. unless some unforeseen event takes place from out of the blue that makes changeable or impossible to follow through. With some people, intentions, promises, words, are
empty if they are long repeated with out action behind them.

Answer 6

The intent for good or ill makes a difference but we can't always know the intent of another and often that of ourselves, until after the words and deeds.
Experience teaches discernment. Trust has to be won. C. :)!!

Answer 7

I think one should not waste there precious time , for intentions,promises or words have no meaning unless they are played out. Thats why we should take most of what we here with a grain of salt. Actions speak louder than words.

Answer 8

Intention means almost nothing. I am a HUGE procrastinator, and generally not a very motivated person. I am not dependable, although when I commit to something, I fully intend on doing it. As I get older, I try not to make promises that I can't keep, but I am still AWFUL about follow through.

Answer 9

I think that we should focus on their actions rather than intentions, promises or words. Intentions can change and are only thoughts. Promises and words can be forgotten. Actions and behaviour are real.

Answer 10

just b careful ,
u cant b 100% sure of anyones intentions but urself,i used 2 think everyone is good &has no benenfit of hurting me,&discouvered am such an ediot. only actions can prove whether this person is good or bad, there are some cases when circumstances can affect peopls actions 2words u(.expect anything from anyone) those r my majic words