My fiance smokes weed daily...?

Question

We live in Berkeley, California, where is a huge community of weed smokers. It is easy to get weed here.

My fiance is in his 40s and he has been smoking weed on and off since he was a teenager. It doesn't have a big effect on him anymore. He doesn't even get high. Lately he started smoking daily and it's been since June. He says he would stop smoking, if he didn't have an easy access to it. We are planning on moving in a few years and he says he would definitely stop then. I know most people smoke here but I am worried. He started doing it five and more times a day lately. Can weed hurt his health eventually?

I knew that he smoked weed since our first date because he was never hiding it. So it is nothing that I could be mad at him now. But I do sometimes, especially lately. I love everything about him. He basically would be perfect if not weed. He stopped smoking cigarettes a few months ago, and he keeps saying that cigarettes are so much worse than weed.

t doesn't affect his life much and he doesn't live around weed. It's like a cigarette effect on another person. You couldn't even tell that he smokes pot. He doesn't have pot buddies or anything, although he used to have in the past. But he would just spend 30 min smoking with his buddy and that would be it, so it is not like typical potheads that you see in movies. I am confused. Am I overreacting? I am really cool about anything else in life but this one I can't just get over. Sometimes I feel that I would rather see him drinking because somehow drinking and smoking cigarettes are acceptible in our society in some senses but drugs are not? Is it right to consider weed as a drug?

Answer 1

That's such a convenient way to excuse smoking weed....saying it's "healthier" than cigarettes. Because it's really not. Cigarette tobacco has to fulfill certain quality criteria in order to be processed to cigarettes. Weed doesn't. Anyone can grow it, and since it's illegal in most countries, there is no quality control. You don't know with what fertilizers or growth substances the weed has been sprinkled with. Also, it can cause lung cancer just like any other substance that is inhaled. Any type of smoke that is inhaled is harmful.

I have seen the effects of regular weed consumption in many of my friends. After smoking up every single day (mostly twice or more), I could see that their personality was starting to change. They became more irritable and socially insecure, had less control over their emotions, and offered inadequate responses to certain social or emotional situations. They became dull in their thinking and slow in their actions. They just seemed to be far off all the time. And did you know that schizophrenic patients almost always have a history of daily weed consumption? Yeah, no one knows that. I worked in a psychiatric ward for half a year, and it made me never want to smoke a joint in my life again.

So your husband is 40 and has been smoking regularly for years, I'm guessing. If you don't think he has changed that much over the years, good for him! But please take into consideration that weed is not as harmless as everyone seems to think, and that it causes the most damage to a person's mental health.

Think about your future together. Eventually, you'll probably want to have children, which requires responsibility on his part. Do you want your husband to continue smoking weed while there are children in the house? How do you feel about him being high while he is supposed to be watching them? Or driving them in the car? It's always easy to procrastinate quitting by saying, "Oh, when this and this happens, then I'll stop." Just make sure that you see the big picture in all of this. Of course, stressing about things that are still in the far future may come across as overbearing or exaggerated, but you will eventually have to think about your future together.

Answer 2

I know exactly what you mean. I've been with my bf for nearly 9 months now and we've been living together for almost 4 months. He's been smoking weed since the first date and so was i but we both quit for a few weeks a months or 2 ago and now he's worse than ever. he's smoking it about 7/8 times a day and smokes them like cigarettes. i occaisionally smoke a little bu not as much and as regularly as he does so i understand where you are coming from.

I dont really have any answers for you but just tell him how it makes you feel and let him get on with it. sooner or later he will realise how much he's hurting you and will stop. if he doesnt and is finding it really hard, he may want to try getting some drug counselling to give him a helping hand. just remember to give him plenty of support.

smoking 1 joint is worse than chain smoking 5 cigarettes so yes it can damage is health. tell him that and see if that helps any.

(we are both 19)

Good luck x

Answer 3

He's addicted, he won't stop unless he wants to, he's not going to stop even if you move. Yes, weed can hurt his health, especially if he's at the point where it no longer affects him. Basically, he's stoned ALL the time. You don't even know the real him because you've never seen it.

Yes, it can hurt his health. It hurts his lungs, it can hurt his fertility. He can also be arrested and prosecuted. It can change his brain in such a way that he needs to engage in riskier behavior in order to get the old high. It might mean changes in his sexual behavior or his motivation to keep his job.

Don't get me wrong, I think weed should be legal. I just wouldn't want to be on the road with your fiance when he's behind the wheel. If I were you, I would be VERY concerned about someone who's decision-making is affected by daily weed consumption.

You have to ask why his behavior changed in June. I think you should be mad at him: he's escaping from you emotionally, and he has changed recently. He's gone from "off-an-on" to "high five times a day." You don't love him, you love his potential. I think you're making a huge mistake to stay with him. Try going to NA (Narcotics Anonymous) and Al-Anon meetings to see what other people say about your staying with him. They'd know the local scene, too, about weed, so they can give you some impressions about it.

Answer 4

I never used to think of weed as a 'heavy duty drug'.... until I started to date someone who smoked it. After all, I live in British Columbia and you'd be hard--pressed to find someone who's never taken a toke. He'd smoke like 5-6 joints a night. I had to face the fact that he's an addict. The fact that he doesn't even act differently is worse: his tolerance is building!

The 'it's not as bad as cigarettes' is b.s. There's so much chemicals in weed and it's not filtered!! I heard (don't quote me) that 1 joint is equivalent to smoking 5 regular cigarettes.

You have to decide if you can live with this.

PS.... Weed DOES cause moodiness/irritability.

I still don't have a problem with OCCASIONAL use but I'm very aware now of how much a person smokes.

Answer 5

It's been my experience that most people who smoke weed are happy folks overall. Even when a person has been smoking for a long period of time and they don't get high anymore it still mellows them out to an extent. He might need mellowing out. I don't really think it can hurt your health. Other than the fact that you don't care for it it doesn't seem like it's a big problem.

Answer 6

If I remember correctly, it's 8 grams of tar for every joint smoked. Also, habitual weed smoking turns men impotent- he'll be shooting blanks soon. Motor skills are permanently dulled and reaction time delayed. Not good if you're driving a vehicle! Oh, and I used to smoke weed heavily in college and I remember the more I smoked, the less effect it had on me. So maybe he should cut back big time and see what happens.

It's true though. Giving up smoking is so much easier when you're not surrounded by it.

Answer 7

yes its a drug. it affects the body. but it isnt half as bad as all those commecial drugs. im just gettin the idea that he is bored. or his life has been crappy for a little bit. when me and my ex lived in our own apartment, he wasnt able to find jobs and didnt have a car and we lived like crap and had nothing to do. so we did smoke as much as we could. at least it gave us a center peace to temporarily forget and forgive and just enjoy eachother and such. he always said ' i think i will be smokin for the rest of my life, not quite as much, but i can see myself smokin for the of my life, i enjoy it' and now he is rentin a hosue with his buddy, has a new car he's makin payments on, has a job and just quit smoking weed. get him to be more productive. or if he is a hard workin man and socializes, he may just like it cuz it relaxes him more when he wants to wind down and just relax. the only thing i could see it hurting him, is memory loss and lung stuff.

Answer 8

I'm going threw the same problem my bf cant give up his weed hes great but he wont stop he stops for a bit then goes back...i think you just have to really get threw to him that you want him to stop cause you care...my bf is the same hes honest about it...i tell my bf i want us to have a long happy healthy future and if he could cut it down to like once a month id be fine so why don't you try reasoning or talking it out good luck

Answer 9

I don't smoke weed anymore (not since I was 22), but I am pro-marijuana, I'd like to see it legalized.
The only harm it does is it can cause panic attacks, and 1 joint is equal to smoking 20 cigarettes (as far as risk of lung cancer). Other than those two, I see no problem with pot.

Answer 10

Actually, Weed is worst on your lungs than cigareets.(google this and you will find out.)

He needs to stop smoking weed, before he turns to something else. You know that's the next step, especially if he's not getting high anymore and he has to smoke like 5 times a day. You better get him off that stuff.

And you said you love eveything about him. But he's always high...So do you actually know him sober.????Just a question to ask yourself.