Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white Robe. "Who the hell are you?" demanded Dave, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"
The mysterious man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter."
Dave was stunned "You mean I'm dead!?!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family . . . you've got to send me back straight away."
St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."
Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.
"This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day
here?"
"It's not so bad" replies Dave, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode."
"You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?"
"Never!" replies Dave.
"Well just relax and let it happen
So he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.
When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him. . . . . . . Ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting...
2007-09-02 20:00:03 · 25 answers · asked by PC 7 in Travel ➔ Asia Pacific ➔ Philippines
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Dave, Dave wake up you drunken twit. You've just S**T the bed.
2007-09-02 20:02:41 · update #1
I beg to differ. The question is "Has this or something similar happened to you?"
2007-09-02 20:09:31 · update #2
Wahahahahaha! :D
Oh, look what you made me do, made me spew my Pepsi all over the monitor!
Seriously, I'm wiping the fizz off as I type.
Tha was so funny! Thank the heavens, it has never happened to me before. Just serves to show that we should make sure to head for the bathroom before heading off to bed. :D
2007-09-03 03:29:41 · answer #1 · answered by ScarletRaven 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hehe, good laugh!
something similar when my clock started to alarm so loud and made so much noise that i had turn it off right away but the switch broke. So i have to take the battery out but it was stuck. So frantic i have to smash it with a hammer and out the battery but it keep on sounding out loud noise. So, i relaxed and analyze the situation, there i noticed i grabbed the wrong turn off switch.That was the time i woke up and roused from bed to turn that lousy alarm clock.
2007-09-02 22:38:12 · answer #2 · answered by 36 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, sir. It has never happened to me. But the worst the could perhaps happen to anyone who had imbibed himself, and felt himself at home with the world, is for honorable men to make fun of him and deride him, and liken him to a dog. And laugh at him.
2007-09-02 20:48:05 · answer #3 · answered by Aref H4 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Next time, don't eat prunes if you're planning to get drunk with beer. Stick to peanuts or nachos, my friend
2007-09-04 02:04:32 · answer #4 · answered by bowen 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is about the greatest joke I've ever heard man.
2007-09-02 20:06:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a crazy but funny story. I like that one Chuck.
2007-09-03 06:27:12 · answer #6 · answered by Big P 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One of the best I ever heard. Made me laugh so hard I almost........ never mind.
2007-09-03 18:05:17 · answer #7 · answered by luosechi 駱士基 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm off to bed in a few minutes so... I sure hope not.
2007-09-02 22:05:57 · answer #8 · answered by Sharon ! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG... That's so disgusting... Thank God never happened to me... But i like your story its very unique and so funny!
Cheers!
2007-09-02 20:34:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, no this has never happened to me, but it made me laugh. Thank you.
2007-09-02 20:07:08 · answer #10 · answered by non o u biznis 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋