light shines down and gleams from your eyes,
the way you smile makes me laugh,
it's sad how happy you once made me and now i cry, because it hurts knowing you don't feel the same inside.
and
the way your arms comfort me is amazing,
your voice just drives me insane,
around you i act so shy,
but inside i go crazy
2007-09-02 19:06:11 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
I also agree with your friend. These are very good. They are also very sad. I hope all goes well.
2007-09-02 19:22:33 · answer #1 · answered by Rick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Poetry writing is very personal. That explains why there are so many forms of poetry. And our response to poetry is equally as personal, and therefore subjective.
Having said that, you seem to be trying to do too many things at once in this poem, and only practice in each separate thing will get you good enough to put them all together. For example, you seem to be trying to make lines rhyme. But to do that, you'll need to understand that rhyme is a sound device that depends for its effect on more than the similarity of end sounds. It needs rhythm as well, and your task as the poet is to find the rhythm that will make your poem sing!
You can't force rhyme, though. It comes when the circumstances in your poem permit it to appear, which means that it also depends on the subject being written about, the natural rhythms of speech, and your willingness to let the lines end naturally. You could choose to write free verse...which has its own rules, and no end rhymes.
Your poems are about emotions, and poetry is very useful for expressing one's feelings. It is succinct without being obscure. Succinctness will also affect the rhyme.
What you need to do, then, is find out what kind of poem fit your mood, subject, and abilities best! Than you can write it. And remember, a poem is not a poem because it rhymes. It doesn't need to rhyme to be a poem!
Sorry this is so long! Your best bet would be to find a book that's user friendly and see how it helps you to hone your skills as a poet. Put "how to write a poem" into a Google or Ask Jeeves or Dogpile search and see what comes up! Good luck!!
2007-09-02 19:33:54 · answer #2 · answered by Teri B 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
heed Teri B's counsel. words like cry, drive, crazy amazing etc have multiple connotations hence be certain about your intended meanings.
good luck
2007-09-02 22:44:24 · answer #3 · answered by ari-pup 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter if they are good or not, it is an extension of you. I suggest keeping them, when you are old you will be greatful.
2007-09-02 19:16:30 · answer #4 · answered by meggan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are from the heart and they are genuine. I felt your power and sincerity, and they are good.
2007-09-02 21:01:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you.
2007-09-02 19:12:12 · answer #6 · answered by Ronnie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its gr8 & exclusive coz it comes right 4m ur heart
2007-09-03 00:37:17 · answer #7 · answered by aditi 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
average.
2007-09-02 19:31:34 · answer #8 · answered by dimapoet 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i agree w/ your friend!!!!
~these r great!!!!
2007-09-02 19:10:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋