DH and I were talking about life after the military(he's deployed) and he brought up moving to AZ. I asked why we'd do that. He said he had a friend who we could live with down there. I told him I'm not going to live with somebody.
DH wants to get out and us go to FT college and live with whoever offers. I'm not going to raise a child while mooching off people. At least one of us has to work and we can do nightschool/weekend classes. And we need to get our own place.
He doesn't want a mortgage at all as he put it tonight. He wants to own a house but doesn't want a mortgage? I hope somebody rich really likes us when they die.
Before we got married we talked about family and he was ok with the fact I wanted a big family and live near my folks.
He's DECIDED we'll wait 5yrs for another kid and NOW we are living with people until we have saved up enough to straight out buy a house.
I told him he wasn't making any FINAL decisions and he got mad and hung up................
2007-09-02 19:00:47 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you are right on this one.. you dont want to live with people and people dont really want you living with them.. so its rent a place or stay where you are..
2007-09-02 19:10:53 · answer #1 · answered by Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that if he was old enough to get married, then he should be old enough to provide for his family without the help of others. Living with other people is not an option in my book. Tell him that a real man takes take of his own family, and does not mooch off of others until he can afford his won place. It is time to deal with the responsiblity. Stay where you are.
2007-09-03 02:17:02 · answer #2 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep doing what you are doing! Your focus is spot on! There has to be one of you that is mature in this relationship and it appears that is going to be you. So, plan your own journey through life and let him decide if he wants to go along for the ride. Normally I would say he is the head of the household, and needs to be followed no matter if he fails or not. But, mooching off of people till you can afford your own house is a fantasy! You, get your own apartment, your own job, and your own bank account! Once your life is stable, he will see the light and crawl back in saying it was his idea to do it that way all along. Just smile and say right dear!
2007-09-03 02:12:38 · answer #3 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a few days to come around, he will. You are right not to live with people, that is mooching the way he's thinking. And it's a lot to ask especially since you have a child. Stand your ground on this one.
2007-09-03 02:17:36 · answer #4 · answered by gma 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are not discussions for long distance. It is very easy to say things you don't mean, and get upset when you aren't face to face.
I suggest until he gets home, you keep your conversations focused on lighter subjects - then when you can be with each other again - that is when you work out these issues.
2007-09-03 02:11:51 · answer #5 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He feels pushed. Leave him alone and let him calm down and let him call you. Then you can explain to him why you want a final decision from him but without blaming him.
2007-09-03 02:24:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Last thing you guys should do is to discuss such things over the line, be it phone or internet.
2007-09-03 02:33:45 · answer #7 · answered by Shawn W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋