Whenever I approach a social situation my brain automatically thinks the worst is happening. For example: If I look a girl in the eye and she looks away, I assume I freaked her out with my eye contact. When in reality it could of been ten million other things. Maybe even that I'm so good looking she was intimidated. I realize I have to reprogram my brain to think differently in these situations. What are some good experiments or exercises I could use in real life situations? Something I'm gonna try is to make a conscious effort to make eye contact with as many people as I can and hold it until they look away. That way I will get the rush of locking eyes, forcing myself to control the situation (instead of looking away like I do now), and getting used to people breaking off eye contact and realizing it's just normal and it's not something to overanalyse. My lack of good eye contact really effects my confidence and I need to do something about it. Any suggestion for me would be great!
2007-09-02 18:32:28 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Well, it sounds like a bit of social anxiety. Nothing to fret over, happens to everyone. A suggestion would be to build up your confidence, be sure of yourself, do not doubt yourself, teach yourself to think positive. There are many books on how to go about this, very common and nothing to be ashamed of. Go to the library and read up, you don't even have to check the books out, you can read them at the library. Good luck to you!
2007-09-02 18:44:53 · answer #1 · answered by Hot Coco Puff 7 · 8⤊ 0⤋
No reprogramming is necessary. You just need to develop a coping strategy. Making and holding eye contact without breaking it may be unnerving to some people (like me). What you need is practice. During social situations with people you are familiar with, practice making eye contact then averting your glance at you own will. Reestablish eye contact and repeat the process. Eventually you will become familiar with how long to hold eye contact in various situations.
There might be ten million reasons why someone might look away and you can't even begin to try to analyze why. If you find yourself unable to maintain eye contact, smile and look away for a moment then reestablish eye contact. That brief flash of relief is all you might need to go on. You will find that in time you will become a master of making eye contact. I had a friend when I was in my 20s that could pick up women simply by looking at them from across the room! He used basically the same procedure I just explained. Give it a try.
2007-09-02 18:41:01 · answer #2 · answered by Doc Biz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well then o.o pessimism much? Anyboot, you don't need to reprogram. I probably would train my mind to go blank if I had eye contact with someone. Normally though, since I trained myself to read expressions I'd guess what they were thinking if our gazes met. You just need to clear your mind when making eye contact with someone. After a few tries you will get the hang of it.
-Ryko
2007-09-02 19:50:16 · answer #3 · answered by xxx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋