me and my flatmate are really good friends, we care so much about each other, we hang out togther all the time, we sleep togther so i guess we are actually more then friends, we kiss and hug and hold hands and act just like a couple!!!! but i dont want him to be my boyfriend so i have told him that and thats fine with him. i love having someone caring and loving me but it scares me how much he likes me. im afraid that i dont like him as much as he likes me. im not really attracted to him and he is not my type and i always look at other guys and want other guys.... so what do i do?? i cant stop whats happening between me and my flatmate.... im confused about what i want!! i never want to lose him as a friend though. and i never want him or me to move out of the flat. i wish i could understand myself.... what do you think?? just ready this situation... what comes to your mind? honestly..........
2007-09-02 18:11:11 · 4 answers · asked by lily 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
First of all, you shouldn't be having that type of relationship with a friend, it always ruins the friendship. Second, you don't sleep with a flat mate, that is something that should have been laid out as law in the beginning. Third, acting like a couple, in addition to sleeping together is not conducive to a "friendship" nor is to towards either of you having lives apart from each other. Fourth, please don't say that you can't stop this from happening, because you can. Either you both get locks put on your bedroom doors, or one of you moves and lives elsewhere. Fifth, perhaps you really do like this guy as much as he likes you, and you're not willing to admit it. Sixth, perhaps you are feeling a tinge of guilt over having created a "friends with benefits" situation. If you really wanted it to stop, you would have. Try dating each other, how much worse can it get? Either you'll fall in love, or find out that the set up is not what either of you want, and one or both of you will move and have lives apart from each other, or remain friends.
2007-09-02 18:26:42 · answer #1 · answered by Hot Coco Puff 7 · 8⤊ 0⤋
i think if you really step back and look at the whole picture, you will realize that the feeling you have for you flatmate are much deeper than you realize.
sit down and make a list, what would make the perfect or best mate for you, you know like what do you need from a guy to really make you happy and look in to the future also what will it take to continue to make you happy.
now on the other side of list what would it be like if you flatmate were compared to this person!
would your life be better or worse with him or with out him?
the best relationships between a man & a women start out as best friends, then lovers, then usually on to husband & wife.
for a couple to stay married you must be best friends, good love life, willing to compermize and just plain being there for each other though the good & the bad.
so what is your heart & your head telling you when you get all done!
2007-09-03 01:29:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
best and longest lasting relationships start with good friendship. Sounds to me like you really do like him enough to be your boyfriend (did you say you sleep together and kiss and stuff?)
Maybe you are not ready to commit, but if you don't want to lose him, it means you like him a lot. So just get over the stereotypes, don't worry about anything at all, and just be happy. Maybe eventually you yourself will want a relationship. And if you do, you can always tell him. If you don't, eventually one of you guys will move away or move out or whatevr/
2007-09-03 01:20:53 · answer #3 · answered by babigrl22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When the moment presents itself, put your hands on his cheeks and look him in the eyes and tell him that you love him but you don't want to be his lover. Make sure that you are gentle and strong.
2007-09-03 01:21:47 · answer #4 · answered by Teaim 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋