I know this sounds weird, but when I think how I will feel when I fall in love, I feel these VERY intense feelings of euphoria, like everything will always be right and perfect. My chest feels tight (in a good feeling way) and I feel weightless; the feeling feels so right I can feel my soul intertwining with his.
Yet every time I have fallen in love, I haven't experienced anything even close. It feels like..reality. Like you feel good and have butterflies and your very in love, but its so much more down to earth. Is it possible to feel a feeling that isn't real?
This has nothing to do with infatuation, I can assure you. I know what infatuation is, I know relationships have problems, don't take this the wrong way it is only about that particular feeling. All i want to know is why even after finding the man I want to be with forever, I have never felt the feeling that resides only in my imagination.
2007-09-02 18:01:48 · 6 answers · asked by Starling, my Darling 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I think what your describing is commonly called "association".
Its the process of thoughts causing an emotional reaction.
The best place to become aware of "association" outside of ourselves is in television commercials, especially perfume commercials.
PS-I have the same experiences that you do to. I think its healthy to dream a little bit. I certainly know it feels good.
2007-09-02 18:15:17 · answer #1 · answered by Teaim 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Feelings are real.
Imaginings are not real.
Feelings are actually experienced and recorded in the brain, but not always in correct connection to the trigger.
You feel feelings of euphoria, but they can be attached to any number of triggers, like really good chocolate, really good sex, a beautiful sunset, a caffeine high, or a vaguely remembered dream, for example.
Your feelings of 'love' without a specific attachment means you are creating an imaginary quota for your feelings, and the person you meet to be your "love" has to fulfill that quota, or else.
Sexual attraction produces strong emotions, feelings and desires, but the real question you need to ask yourself is, "If that person was in an accident and became a paraplegic, do you love that person enough to stick around for the rest of their and/or you life?"
Your goal is to find out what makes really ugly people stay married for years, while good-looking people get divorced left and right. Your goal is to decide if the person you are with is somebody you can be with, not tomorrow, but 2 or 3 years for now, when the sex is over and you took a shower, and you find their dirty clothes over the floor and they, ahem, "let one go", and you can't help but wonder if they had been holding it in while you were, you know, 'busy' with them a few moments before. That's when you know what Real Love can be. Do you laugh, forgive and forget? Or do you end the relationship and move on?
Instead of making up feelings of euphoria, find out what everyday love can be really like! Try to find out what is important or worthwhile about another human being that doesn't come with specific emotional quotas attached. Try to stop placing more value on imaginary emotion quotas and place higher value on things like, you know, real loyalty, forgiveness, whether or not they provide you with a really good dessert once in a while...
2007-09-02 18:32:06 · answer #2 · answered by enn 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Girl, please. We all feel that way, that's what falling in love does to you. Every single time, it's never been so intense; it is always going to be like that. And, if you're like me, you always think that this is the guy you are going to marry. You have so much hope and love and you just want the same in return. You're so deep in love that you can't see anything else, or anything wrong with this guy. I have been "in love" many times. I still think about one of the fellas, how happy I was, how we talked about getting married and all of that. But, Jesus, that was a million years ago, and there is no way I would marry that guy if he asked me today. As you go through life and experience things and meet new people, your tastes will change, what you "want" will change. One piece of advice I give you, and please take it, is don't ever put yourself in a position where you have to rely on a man for anything. Be independent, know you can take care of yourself, and then, when you're ready to share your life with some guy, go for it, but never ever let yourself be in a position where you have to be dependent on a guy. Now, on to your next heartbreak.....
2007-09-02 18:42:29 · answer #3 · answered by Hot Coco Puff 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Everyone wants to feel those feelings and I have felt those feelings, it is a part of being in a relationship. But reality will bring you down. One day you will fall in love with the right person, just pray for God to bring that man to you when the time is right.
2007-09-02 18:11:15 · answer #4 · answered by rashida_16 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have come to "imagine" what you will experience from the representations of love in the culture along with your interpretations of the same.
You can come to believe you have "the feelings" with some practice and suspension of disbelief.
Whether this approach is mentally healthy depends on the circumstances of the relationship.
2007-09-02 18:18:00 · answer #5 · answered by B C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you have described is something I have only felt when my husband and I had when we were alone and being a man and a woman....
When you become "one" with your love, and have reached beyond the stars...it is exactly what you described.
You are not "odd", nor are you "fanciful"... this can happen...
Someday, you find what you are looking for :)
2007-09-02 18:13:37 · answer #6 · answered by ForeverSet 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋