My husband used to beat me. He stopped doing that one year ago, when I decided to tell my dad what he was doing to me. Now we are moving further away from my family, and they keep saying he might do that again... Should I be scared?
2007-09-02 17:23:08 · 12 answers · asked by LLN Babe 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
run like hell baby, run like hell
would you want him to beat your kids the same way,because he will
2007-09-02 17:27:03 · answer #1 · answered by woodenturkey 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
How much do you love him, and how much do you believe that he loves you?
Was he really sorry for beating you even while he beat you? And more importantly: as he showed enough reasons for you to think that he has remorse and did not enjoy the thought of those days.
If most of the questions up there are answered with a “yes”, then your decision is literally none of our business and none of us have the right to tell you what you should be doing with your life together.
The above is a simple check list of a few of many things that you have to evaluate while considering such an important decision.
Shall you go off, and things shall go to the worse, there is a chance that you can just turn back and live with your family.
But if you choose to leave him, and you love each other a lot, there is a chance that you may destroy something that may have actually had a chance.
Unfortunately there is also the possibility that the above posts may be right and you may be so “damaged” that you can no longer run away from anyone. That we can not know… unfortunately.
It may be best you talk to him, question him. Explain what you feel, what you fear, and that you need some sort of assurance (more sentimental, not exactly in the lines of a contract) to your fear of getting hurt. Keep an open mind to his offers if not bargains and try to way the results best you an. Let him try to convince you (give him the chance to)
This, I believe, you should do. Shall he not be able to sit and talk this over. Shall he not allow you to open up your fear over the matter, and shall he show no care to try to assure you. Then it would be better you stay with your family. Let him come and try to earn you back.
Because there is very little hope if it is not possible for you to open this up to him. Not as things are.
Your call.
2007-09-04 07:44:34 · answer #2 · answered by blackdidthis 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Run now, while you still have working legs. Do NOT move away from your family, DO get away from him, and DO get a restraining order -- and keep it WITH you -- if he attempts contact.
My guess is that he'll get super-sweet and tell you how much he cannot live without you and how he loves you like no one else possible could. He'll buy you things, make promises, and tell you he's so so sorry for the ways in which he hurt you. If that doesn't work, he'll tell you how much you owe him and how much your family has mistreated you.
He's controlling you. This is the only thing he's doing and every single action on his part is meant to get inside your head and stay there.
You are in danger, and will be in danger for quite some time. You cannot be too careful.
2007-09-02 18:30:17 · answer #3 · answered by Aa 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need to be careful for sure. I've always heard that if they hit you once they will do it again!! Also he may not have that fear of your dad anymore sense you will be further away! if you go be careful and know that he can hit you again ! And most likely it can happen especially if he never got counceling or anything for it! did he? if not how could he just stop all of a sudden if he has a problem? if he has a problem then he still has it! maybe scared of your dad thats why he stoped, if you move away will he still be scared of your dad if he hits you?? would your dad be able to come there??if not i would be scared to go !!
2007-09-02 18:00:51 · answer #4 · answered by monkeymomma46 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont be scared but you already know what could happen. A lot of women in the world has been through this. Learn from their mistakes and get away. Please. Don't make yourself somebodies victim when you don't have to be. I understand we all have problems but it seems to me that when he move you away from your family, you will belong to him and only him. So your father wont be there to save you and he could pretty much get away with treating you like crap. Try to convince him to stay around and maybe both of you guys came go to a counselor. He would surely need one. Ask this question to yourself. Are you afraid he is going to do it again? If yes, something has to be done.
2007-09-02 18:41:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I just say "yeah so?" This generally gives that type of person further cause for an even more dramatic chimp out, thus they become my trained monkey that performs on command. I have to admit, I have rarely encountered such people, and I live in the bible belt. But we don't exactly travel in the same circles either.
2016-04-03 00:37:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he made any remarks that makes you think he may start again. If so then leave him.
No man has the right to beat on his wife. The same for the wife. Your dad made it clear to him what will happen if he beat you again. However, the distant between you and your dad may allow him the freedom to return to the beating.
2007-09-02 17:35:03 · answer #7 · answered by Questionable 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Moving a victim away from family and friends is classic abuser. LEAVE HIM while you're still alive!! You should be terrified. Trust me! I've been an advocate for abused women for years.
2007-09-02 17:40:38 · answer #8 · answered by Rider-Writer 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you should be scared, but if he lays a hand on you, have him arrested, slap a PFA on him and don't look back. If he is giving signs that he is not a changed man, then you already know the answer.
2007-09-02 17:52:59 · answer #9 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes
2007-09-06 15:07:06 · answer #10 · answered by monabow 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋