Given these circumstances would I better off single?

Question

33 years old and my wife is 35. No kids and not interested. Married 4 years in November, been together/cohabitating for closer to 10. I've been struggling of thoughts that we are in a marriage of convenience. Sex life is virtually nonexistent, and not for lack of my trying. I am a very caring and attentive lover and ensure she is blessed with an orgasm during each intimate encounter. I have not cheated, but based on the quality of life I am living as a man that status is subject to change.
Many things have changed since we got married. I was always fat, hitting rock bottom on our wedding day. I've went from 6'0 260lbs to 175lbs and am in the best shape of my life. She is 5'5 185 and has opted not to improve herself since we got married, although she has all the tools to do so including my support. I think we got married for wrong reasons. I get looks/vibes from women now I never have before. It's not fair to trade my future happiness for the "sanctity" of marriage.

Thanks for the responses! Was capped by limit so let me expand. I have always been a shy guy, as was my wife. We started dating in college, and I did fall into what I thought was love with her at the time. The love has always been more of a "I need to take care of you" love more than "I want to spend every waking hour with you" love. I don't know that I know what love is, but I think I know what it's not now. I got married because I "loved" her, out of loyalty and unfortunately because I thought it was the "right" thing to do at the time (unfortunately for others not myself). People change right? I have for the better, she has not. We only fight about sex, and I'm a great lover, I'll provide as many O's as she wants, have tried new things but nothing helps there. We make great money and otherwise rarely bicker. Bottom line, I'm not happy. It hurts me to consider hurting her, but it will be a constant struggle to continue living in this way unless something changes.

Answer 1

Something--possibly the failure to list any of your wife's virtues here--tells me you're not being as "supportive" as you think. Nothing kills sex drive more effectively than the idea you're not attractive to your partner. If you keep focusing on your wife's failure to "improve herself," it's not going to matter how many orgasms you give her; she'll just think you're doing it out of duty or horniness or because you want something from her.

I get the impression you're trying to argue you married her because you didn't think you could do any better at the time. If that's the case, then yes, it might well be in your best interest to separate and give her a chance to find someone who will fully appreciate her as she is. But if you're really as "caring and attentive" and concerned about her health as you claim, get out before you cheat and mess her up emotionally.

Answer 2

The reasons to get married are these, you truly love each other, you respect and trust one another and you are best friends, you want to build a future with each other.

If you didn't marry for those reasons, leave.
If you married for those reasons than you need to be married which means that you owe it to yourself and your wife to talk about these things.

Let her know that you feel she doesn't want you anymore and that you still want her. Maybe she is feeling very insecure about how she looks now that you look so good? For a woman weight is an emotional issue and losing is isn't as easy as it is for a man.

I you don't love her enough to talk with her than leave. If you are leaving just because you can get a better looking woman or more of them than you really would be doing your wife a favor.

What every you do think long and hard how your life will truly be once you make this decision.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Congratulations on losing the weight and becoming a jerk. lol.

And you only give her 1 orgasm per session sweety no wonder she's lacking , she need's way more then 1 try about 10 maybe 12 and if any woman out there isnt getting at least 12 orgasms during sex then I would be asking what I can do to fix it and bring the number up.

Answer 4

Sweet Pea I truly think since you lost some weight you have become a bit selfish. I am not trying to be mean or rude, but i am stating the facts. You have lost weight and that is great, you have noticed that women are starting to look at you more now, that is ok too. The wifie hasn't motivated herself yet to loose some weight and now you want to leave. The right thing you can do is be patient with her and when she decides to lose some extra pounds it will be great. Your vows you read probably stated for better or for worse and you should honor that. You also mentioned that she is blessed to have an organism every time you both make love, that is great but she should be blessed to have a husband that loves her dearly no matter what size she is. would you agree? God Bless you and I hope you make the right decision!

Answer 5

I say sure. in basic terms as a results of fact he's/became right into a bad boyfriend does not unavoidably mean he's/would be a bad father. For now however, i could make valuable they only see one yet another on supervised visits, do no longer enable him spend time with him on my own yet, or for prolonged sessions of time. and attempt to no longer get your hopes up approximately the two considered one of you getting back at the same time. no longer saying that is impossible, in spite of the fact that that is not any longer likely it will paintings out, after which you will in basic terms be disillusioned. So provide your son's dad of project to coach himself as a solid dad, take issues slowly, and tell the haters/nosy human beings to suggestions their very own damn business enterprise. good success! :)

Answer 6

Your wife is scared... and probably insecure. And just because you found the light and got fit, she might not have that same spark. Don't give up.... If you are attentive.. stay explore what motivates her... I know it is a lot to ask... but trust me it can work. You are just in one of those very deep holes.. there are ways out and stay married. Its not about sex with her.. it goes much deeper. Inspire... Oh it is so worth it. You seem to have the Internet... seek out alternative diet ideas... alternative exercising.... Oh trust me there are some interesting exercises out there... Good luck!

Answer 7

tell her exactly what you've just told us the same words be honest .and having the right tools do not mean she has the right mind set to want lose the weight maybe shes depressed for or stressed either way your right its not fair to you. and if you cheat on her that will make the breakup even harder and maybe more costly depending on which state you live in

Answer 8

Sounds like you've already made up your mind. You'll have to make sure you at least have the curtiousy to discuss this with your wife before you rush off and file for a divorce.

Answer 9

Yes you would be better off single.
You knew she was fat when you hooked up, you should of been willing to accept her as she is. But if you aren't you need to move on.

Answer 10

if you feel that she isn't recipical & you're not gaining anything from the relationship, then yes but seek marriage counselling first. there may be a communication issue & divorces are expensive.