Why do teens feel like they have a "right" to privacy?

Question

Disclaimer: I'm 16, not some creepy old lady.

My question is this? Why do teens feel like they have a right to privacy? You know, while they text about having sex with their boyfriends and getting abortions behind their parents' backs? It happens, I'm not even exaggerating.

Let's look at the facts: the parents pay for internet, computers, cell phones, phone plans, and the house (for the vast majority, so it is a fair generalization). Why do teens then think that they deserve to use the parents' money to do whatever they want? The parents have a right to know how their money is being spent, and if their child is in danger. Sorry, your friends are part of their lives too. Sorry, they have a duty and right to know if you're having sex with someone because it affects your physical and mental health. Sorry, they have a right to check your internet history and text messaging to make sure that their money is not being abused.

Why do teens think that all of that is wrong? Thoughts on this?

Edit: The abortion thing was a tangent. It was just an example of something that I considered odd - that the teen's "right to privacy" was kept even in such an important matter.

Wow... There are a lot of responses here.

Additional thoughts that others mentioned: I am against looking into diaries and the like, mainly because there's really no reason. Not every teen has something to hide, but most do - anything from using their cars to sneak off (know those) to hiding their porn addiction (know those). Parents should know about those things because they affect the health and well-being of their child, whom they love. And Tyler, I don't see how sex and having an abortion should not be known to the parents. It is their child, and both of those things affect the health and perceptions of their teen. Why wouldn't they have a right to know? On another note, congratulations for a start in financial independence!

Please, keep it civil. The comments that I am acting like I'm 47 and my life sucks are neither true nor appreciated.

I am by no means a perfect child, but I have absolutely nothing to hide. My parents don't check my Internet history, sift through my room, check text messages (I don't even use them), read emails, etc. anymore because they have and there was nothing there. I don't care if they do now because I don't sneak off, look at porn, etc. So why, if you are doing nothing wrong, would it be a huge problem? I can understand a slight discomfort, but if you have nothing to hide, then you shouldn't be opposed to a parental check.

Answer 1

Everyone wants to feel respected, and teenagers especially feel this need because of all of the changes going on in their bodies and minds. Obviously, parents need to know certain things to do their jobs as parents, but they should also respect their children's privacy to a certain degree. If it's not going to hurt the child, you don't need to know. Trust and respect is a two-way street.

As far as the abortion issue, I agree that in most cases, parents should know, but some children live in situations where waiting for a parent to approve will do more harm than good.

Answer 2

You sound like a very responsably young man.

Most teens hide things they shouldnt be doing anyways.

Having sex.. teens are really not ready for it physically or emotionally. Teens still have a poor sence of judgement.. why do you think there are so many teens with STD's? What if you get pregnant? It certainly is your parents buisiness then.. because most teens cannot afford to take care of a baby!

Smoking/drinking.. ok, legally, you're not even old enough. Besides, its just not worth it. It may seem "cool" to smoke and drink.. but in the long run, it always causes more problems. I know many smokers who started as teens, and are trying to break the habit.. they are having a difficult time quitting. Its expensive, and causes so many health problems. Drinking can cause problems on its own.. you loose inhibitions and do things you regret later.. car accidents, death by alchohol poisoning, etc.

drugs, are illegal. They cause nothing but problems. I have a friend who ended up in a coma from drug overdose.. he is not a teen, but he was in his early 20's.. Im sure he started doing drugs at a young age. You could end up with a drug record at a young age, which can screw you over for college and jobs in the future. If you dont get busted, then you become an addict, and still screw up your adult life.

Sneaking off.. this is just not a safe world. You should not leave home without telling someone where you are going, and when to expect you back. What if something happens to you and you dont make it home? Your parents wouldnt know you were missing until morning/afternoon when you ussually get up.

I also have to agree with the asker.. the parents pay for the cells, internet, etc.. they have the right to decide how its to be used.

Answer 3

Everyone has a right to privacy - even you!

The problem with the teen/parent relationship is this - teens are devious by nature - they are at an age where they think they are old enough and mature enough to make important decisions - but truth be told teens are not even close to that age or maturity level untill about 25-28 years old..that is not to say some teens or young adults are not mature and responsible..but 90% of teens and young adults are not mature enough for the decisions they are making.

That being said they still have a right to privacy, it is up to the parents to decide how much privacy there child gets - the less a parent is involved - the more trouble there child potentially can get into...

But to assume no teen deserves privacy is to take away even things as simple as the privacy to get dressed behind closed doors..how would you feel about having to get naked and dressed in front of your mother or your father? ...it is the same feeling people get when they discover mom and dad read there diary, or went through there room, book bag ect.

I think parents need to set some boundaries..i think diaries are off limits, i think going through your kids room is off limits, but track there banking online, pay attention to there online activities, put a gps on the car, call the friends parents that she is suppose to be at to make sure she is there...be active but don't be to over bearing - find a happy medium that allows your child some privacy and security but don't expect them to run around freestyle and stay out of trouble!

Also make sure you tell your child the limits you have set - they have a right to know that you are trusting them but checking on them..its a trust parent thing too. Teens don't trust parents either...but by being honest with them, you are opening the door to them being honest with you.


Hope this helps you understand that privacy is more personal than a cell phone or a text message...

Answer 4

You make some good points, but there IS a point where it can get too far. Everyone should have some privacy-there are some maniac parents who won't even let their kid be a kid because of their own paranoia. These kids usually end up hurt more in the long run.

Some parents need to learn that they can't baby their child forever. By the time theyre a teenager, they need to start learning independence. They have to start having their own morals, their own ideas.. Making our their own life. This does include some privacy.

Answer 5

The parents need to show the teenagers a bit of respect, I think. I'm a teenager and two years ago my parents took away my door for something little I did and still haven't replaced it. I'm forced to change clothes in my closet. One of my friends has no privacy whatsoever.

I think that your parents have a right to check your Internet history, but not your text messages. I sure as heck wouldn't like my mom knowing what guy I liked. And anyways, almost everyone I know pays their own cell phone bill.

Parents shouldn't take away your privacy unless you've done something to lose it. I've always been a good kid and I seriously think my parents should replace my door sometime soon. The parents need to teach you that you are a human being who deserves some respect, and if they don't give you respect in the first place how can they take it away as punishment when you really deserve to lose it...?

They have a right to know if you've had sex, though, I agree. But that's about it.

Answer 6

Well there are a couple reasons. I mean, parents have the right to know about whats going on with their children. I think the hype among teens about how unfair life can be is hilarious and ridiculous.

But i mean--abortion? Honestly, I'd want to know if my kid was having sex and pregnant. But if a girl's parents are abusive, privacy is a must. A drunk and angry father might lose control and hit his daughter and even kill her.

Or reading a kid's diary is out of the question, or snooping through their room in search of drugs or something [unless they have good reason suspect something]. I think parents have to leave some room to trust their kids.

I think the big reason why most teens think their parents are invading in on their space is because they want to be individuals and independent but don't realize the luxuries their parents provide yet. Plus we're all damn moody.

Answer 7

My thoughts? I loved "nobodyintexas"s' answer because it spoke from experience. My other thought was how mature and wonderful YOU come across, since you're a 16 year old male, and I thought "man oh man!" every parent alive would love to have a teen like you... are you sure you're not really doctor Phil???, you are an amazing young man. Anyone as mature as you deserves respect, be it privacy or other, you can be trusted!

Answer 8

Young people have the right to a certain level of privacy but I think they have these entitlement issues because parents aren't comfortable taking authority. So I agree with the basic idea that you're talking about.

However, I think on some level parents/adults need to remember what its like to be young. No matter how controlling adults can be, young people have the capacity to make their own decisions at certain times -- good or bad, right or wrong. At a certain level there has to be a balance between parental control and empowering young people. BOTH are important.

Answer 9

Teens should have privacy as long as they don't act like idiots and talk about the things you mentioned. I'm 13, and I'd never do that kind of thing. When my parents buy me something I often offer to pay them back, I told them I don't want a cellphone because it would be pointless for me, and I think I'm too young to date, etc. So really they don't have much to worry about when it comes to me for things like that. Everyone deserves privacy though, but how much you're given depends on what you'd do if you were given complete privacy. I know lot's of people who wouldn't do anything innapropriate though.

Answer 10

I'm 59 and I remember being 16 & there was no privacy in my house & I hated it. Whenever I complained, my Dad would go into this litany about, "As long as you are living in my house yada yada yada..."
So one day when he was on his soap box, I asked "So, when can I move out?"
"Anytime, you feel froggy."
I was 18 at the time & it was wonderful. I called friends who lived on the West Coast & hitch-hiked there. It was the 1st time in my life there was actual privacy. I had more privacy living out there with six other people than I had, when I lived at home.
My sister said that Dad was furious.
I loved it.
So, yes, I think ALL teenagers have a right to privacy. I have 5 children & I always insisted that they indeed had the right of privacy.
These teenagers are your children, they are not possessions. Everyone has a right to privacy, no matter, who they are!!!

Answer 11

I believe that teenagers should be afforded a certain level of respect for their privacy. There are things that a parent is entitled to know about their child so they're able to keep their child safe and healthy, but maybe if their child is keeping them out of the loop, instead of spying on their kid... develop a real relationship and maybe their kid won't be so afraid to talk to their parent.

If their kid is having sex and having abortions behind their back, perhaps they should have had "the talk". If they had taught their kid to respect themselves in the first place, 15 year olds wouldn't be having abortions. Technology has become the babysitter this day in age (and that's undeniable because you've listed internet, computers, cell phones etc) so by paying for these things to keep their kids occupied, they've eliminated time with their kids that could be valuable to a teenagers own self worth. there's always going to be a "black sheep" that turns out wrong no matter what the parents do, but look at the 50's and look at today.... enough said...

In shorts: some parents did this to themselves and instead of worrying about invading their privacy now, worry about bringing them up the right way so you don't have to spy on them to make sure they're ok.