Im currently twenty years old, and I talked to my girlfriend what she thinks about marriage. She basically told me she wants to hold a full time job, and that getting pregnant is not something she wants to do. She is pursuing a law degree, and she says she wants to be the best lawyer, and if her husband can't understand that she might leave him. To be honest my jaw kind of fell down. I want exactly the opposite of what she is looking for. I do like women who can hold on their own financially, but I want a wife that also wants to have a child, raise that child with me, and not put work over family. My mom is a stay at home woman, and my dad is the one that supports the family. So, I haven't exactly seen my plan in action. Anybody have inputs about full time working women?
2007-09-02 16:04:34 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Actually that's how my marriage works. My husband and I both work *well right now I'm on maternity leave* but we both work. I still go to school and so does he but we balance the home.
It's possible for her to change her mind later down the road because when I first met my husband.... I said the same thing. I don't want children. I want to work full time and focus on my career. He looked at me... smiled... and said you'll probably change your mind. And as you can see, I only changed one aspect. lol
My point is, that type of family can work. You just have to be willing. If you love your girlfriend and you two can make compromises then I don't see why you can't get the marriage you want.
2007-09-02 17:05:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think everyone needs to do what's right for them personally. This girlfriend of yours says that having a family and children is not in her game plan for life, and it is yours. That's a huge problem, because you guys have differing goals for life.
I don't think that full time working women are wrong, I don't think full time stay at home mothers are wrong, I think each group is doing what's best for their individual situations and families. There are plenty of women out there who have the same goals that you do, they want a home and family. You just have to find them. Just because someone has differing goals doesn't make you right and them wrong, it's just different.
For the record, I'm a full time stay at home mom--and no woman can do that without the support of her husband. So it works both ways on this.
2007-09-02 16:16:48 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all your girl friend has her mind made up that she doesnt want to work and hold a full time job, she doesnt want kids and she is pursuing a law degree . if her husband cant understand that thenshe would leave him. Now you see the both of you are not on the same page. Even though you love her she doesnt want the same things that you want this marriage would never work between you two.
theres no plan for you and her so listen to what she just said.
2007-09-02 16:13:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have your whole life ahead of you. If having a stay at home mom as a wife is important to you. then you need to find a woman who wants that as well. But keep in mind, you are young, and inexperienced. Different circumstances can change if she works or not. So find someone who would like to stay home, but keep your mind open that she may have to work. Either due to finances or sometimes women need to get out there and do something else to fulfill themselves other than the home.
You never know what you are getting into, until you are in it,
2007-09-02 16:15:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The whole point of dating is to get to know someone and decide if they are the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. This is a giant issue and you should not overlook it. You may love her a lot, but you will end up resenting her later if you marry her and lose out on having your dreams. Sit down and have a talk about it with her. You might even want to have this discussion with a counselor. Whatever you do, don't put your dreams of having a family on the backburner - you'll be sorry for the rest of your life.
2007-09-02 16:14:34 · answer #5 · answered by amykdx200 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many working women have children and do a fantastic job in both arenas! Your gal is stating she wants a career with no children in the picture, and there's nothing wrong with that...except your perception and desire for marriage and family.
It's good that you and her have talked about the idea of marriage as it gives you both an idea of what each desires and expects. Keep the communication open, and in the meantime complete your educations.
2007-09-02 16:17:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet Pea I can respect any woman that works hard for what she wants. You have to realize one thing she is very focused on her career and a family is not what she wants at this time. If you love her than you can stay and see what the outcome is, but if you truly want a family then you have to make a big decision. Good luck!
2007-09-02 16:11:58 · answer #7 · answered by b n real 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My mom was a housewife,and she was really unhappy.I prefer a woman who works outside of the house,better for her.Woman and man have to be equal,we both have to do everything half and half,we are the same,man beign the supporter is backwards,woman have to be independent and make their own money for their freedom.You are in 2007,not in 1907
2007-09-02 16:17:14 · answer #8 · answered by lavidasigue40 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you both need to have a serious talk before you any further there is nothing wrong with ambitionbut a family should always come first some say the exact same thing but do end up changing their mind find out if she would ever consider it after her career is solid.
2007-09-02 16:17:43 · answer #9 · answered by twinkle2twinkle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is a good idea to marry a working woman because it is tough managing kids and a home on one income. Many working women balance a home, kids and career.
The issue you face is she doesn't want kids and you do. You can't "talk her into it" or "wait" for her to change. There are lots of gals out there who do want what you want
2007-09-02 16:43:13 · answer #10 · answered by atheleticman_fan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋