Help! how do you ask your stay-at-home wife to go look for employment?

Question

Here's the situation:
I'm in college and working at the same time, while my wife is currently unemployed, staying at home raising our daughter. I graduate in May and I need financial assistance. I keep asking my wife to go look for a job just to help out, but she keeps making excuses to avoid work/school. What should I do?!!

Answer 1

Well really if your scraping by she is benefitting the family by staying home. Childcare is very expensive and if she has no edjucation then she will probly only make enough for childcare expenses, because there is tuition and you have to keep your daughter well dressed and lunches, it really adds up. And your daughter is better off being with her mom. Good luck it wont be hard forever.

Answer 2

Cutting off income will only make her more defensive. Let her know the marriage is in jeopardy if the TWO of you don't find a resolution to this. Professional help will probably find your wife is suffering from a form of depression. Not many people are happy sitting at home reading books for 15 years without at least a hobby that produces some income.

Answer 3

You honestly can't force her to get a job and she's not being lazy by staying at home with your child. Being a stay at home mom isn't an easy job. I've been a stay at home mom since I had our son. I did work for almost a year while he was in a daycare/preschool program, it was a great place and reasonably priced so I decided to go back to work as a photographer. I got pregnant, almost lost the baby and my hubby told me to quit. I've been a stay at home mom since then. My husband has decided to go back to school, he worked full time and went to night school to become an EMT. Once he was an EMT he worked full time at one job and then part time as an EMT. He finally got a full time spot as an EMT and then started paramedic school while still working full time. Money has been VERY tight for us, btu we sat down and make a budget which we both strictly adhere to. We have also weighed the pro's and con's of me getting a job and the only jobs I have been offered would only pay enough to cover childcare for our 3 yr old, and afterschool care for our 7 yr old. So we have this tight budget, we don't eat out, we don't go to movies, I walk when I can to save on gas, I clip coupons, I only buy things on sale. I buy store brand or shop at Aldi's. I have given up sodas and started drinking water or tea. Thankfully his schooling is over now and he is just waiting to take his tests to get his license. He even told me that if I want to I could enroll in school. And I think I will. Sit down and talk to her. Don't become defensive or demand that she get a job. She won't respond well to that, she will just get mad and tell you no. You could loose your financial aid if she got a job, then child care is so expensive. I understand that you think she is making excuses. The two of you really need to sit and talk about this, ask her why she doesn't want to get a job and really listen to her, don't demean her. This is just my opinion, take it or leave it. Good luck to you both.

Answer 4

If your wife goes to work you are going to have child care costs. You need to take that into consideration. Being a stay at home mom is a job---one without pay, so you should be thankful she is doing that.

Instead of pushing a job, the two of you should work on a budget and see how you can save money and spend less. You may also find that she is willing to work part time during the hours that you can take care of your child.

If you think she has to work to make ends meet, help her find a job. Search want ads and job openings with her, ask friends and family if they know of job openings which she could fill. Offer to baby sit while she goes to interviews.

Answer 5

How old is your daughter? She may not want to get a job because she is afraid of leaving your daughter with somebody she doesn't know. My mom didn't get a job until my younger sister was eight. Maybe you should ask her WHY she doesn't want to get a job instead of just asking her to get one. Find out what her problems is and try to fix it. It's important for young girls to be supported emotionally so I understand why your wife may want to stay home...but if it's really affecting the family income then she needs to get a job. At least a part time job. It would be smarter for her to go to school now also...try explaining that all she would be doing is helping the future of your daughter and your marriage. But like I said, you need to ask her why she avoiding getting a job and why she doesn't want to get one. Good luck!

Answer 6

Your working and going to school ? , your wife is home raising your daughter?.You need financial assistance so you want your wife to go out and get a job and have you spending more money by putting the baby in child care while she works?.Because your finances are very tight right now?.

Yes I can see you've thought this through thoroughly.

Answer 7

You may have made it easy for her and it's now hard for her to break the routine. To pull her weight to benefit the family and ease some of your burden, she can do work at home - check out alpine access - or she can do childcare at the home, maybe petsit for neighbors pets, type discertations for college students , etc. She neds to identify her interest(s) and fly with that. The sky is the limit. These are some ideas that would help her not disrupt her routine but give her flexibility to keep her priorities straight. You will be fine!

Answer 8

Ask her to sit down with you and write out the family budget. Maybe if she sees what it's costing your family to live she might get a job.

Of course there's always the child care thing. She may not take home much from her job once she pays child care.

Put a pencil to it...and make her help.

Answer 9

sounds like to me that you and your wife married young your in collegee and work and your wife is full time mom at home did you discuss going to college with her before you got married, and had this baby. I understand that you need some financial help in order for you to finish colleg and get a better paying job to take care of your family. Is there someone who could take care of the baby while she helps out ?
She keeps making excuses why she cant work than she is not working with you she is working against you. in a marriage both parties should compromise.
best of luck

Answer 10

Ask her why she is avoiding going out to get a job? Maybe she doesn't want anyone else caring for your child. Maybe suggest that you guys work opposite shift so the both of you can care for your child until things change.