She explained to me she hates my husband and told me I had to choose between him or her! What the heck ... she's married and has had her fair share of hard times, and dicovered there is no perfect marriage. She said that she can't be in my life as long as I am married to him. What do you think?
2007-09-02 14:45:38 · 22 answers · asked by Shells 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sorry about your problem daughter don't like to see their parent with someone Else thy believe in family but she not fair to you but don't lose your daughter either see a pastor for help
2007-09-02 14:51:38 · answer #1 · answered by paulcondo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Never choose a man over your daughter, you will regret it, she i your flesh and blood! But then again she never should have put you in this position unless she was trying to help you with a bad relationship. If your relationship is fine and she is being a brat tell her that you want her in your life and you are going to stay married. This doesn't mean she ever has to see your husband. You can meet at her house, or somewhere out or organise for him to sometimes have an afternoon away from home so you can do mother daughter things. Let her know you love her but also that you won't be manipulated by this behaviour.
2007-09-02 14:59:51 · answer #2 · answered by Stiffler 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
First find out the real reason why she feels this way. Did he do something to her? Maybe something is behind the scenes she's not lead onto.
If no valid reason can be found ( abuse,etc) then tell your daughter to grow up and put on her big girl pants and deal with it. You and your husband are to be "one". For her it's a package deal.
Finally, consult your husband as he clearly has someone in his life who has a problem with him. He should take the low road and check himself for any improvements he can make to the relationship.
2007-09-02 14:55:08 · answer #3 · answered by Been there, done that 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just tell her that it is unfortunate but I guess he wins. Remember that you are living your life. She is not a kid she is an adult. She has her own life now. You must live yours. It is ok for her not to like your husband. However, it is not ok to put such ultimatums. Very disrespecfull.
Let me put it to you this way. Lets say you leave your husband. Then what. Who is going to cuddle you at night when is cold. Who will take you to the hospital when you are sick or take care of you? Who will listen to your silly complaints after work? Who will have sex with you? Who will grow old with you and acompanny you to do things to your liking and age? Your husband. That is his job. Your daugther has her own husband. She can't possibly be there to take care of all your needs. Especially the sex one. That would be weird.
I especially don't react well to ultimatums.
How about you strike a deal with her. You two should leave your respective husbands together. I mean is only fair that if one is alone so should the other. Make it a double date in which both you and her leave your husbands on the same day. See how she reacts to that one. I bet she will say, Why should I do that I like my husband. Thats when you say, well, I like my husband too. People are always ready to ask for unrealistic demands but are seldom willing to comply to them.
2007-09-02 14:59:15 · answer #4 · answered by mr_gees100_peas 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why does she dislike this man so much? She's either overreacting or has a good reason. You 2 need to mend this somehow and not let a man come between mother and daughter. Search your soul for the answer to my question and go from there.
2007-09-02 15:05:18 · answer #5 · answered by gma 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is something wrong with your daughters attitude. If this man makes you happy and you are willing to accept any faults that he may have than why is your daughter giving you such a hard time.You better have a long talk with your daughter and tell her that you need her and your husband in your life.
2007-09-02 15:07:44 · answer #6 · answered by Julius C 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why does she feel that way? There has to be a reason. Are you complain to her about your marriage. If you are then what do you expect her to do. You have said or she has seen something concerning your husband that is making her feel this way. You really need to ask her why she dislikes him so much. Maybe he has done or said something to her that you don't know about. Find out her reasons, then do what is right. If she has no really reason other then she just doesn't like him, then you may have to decide what matters more her or your husband.
2007-09-02 14:54:07 · answer #7 · answered by cris 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that is not fair, ask your daughter if she would like for you to do that to her. she's 21, and married she has her own life and now it's time for you to have yours. unless your husband has done something extremely horrible then there should be some concern other than that you are old enough to pick your partner.
2007-09-02 14:52:03 · answer #8 · answered by firefly 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unless he is abusive to you (or her) then you need to put her in her place. You are an adult. SHE is an adult. You get to pick your partner, not her. How would she feel if your husband were doing the same to her? Tell her that you love her, and respect the fact that she doesn't like him, but it isn't up to her who you are married to. She'll come around eventually. I know it's going to be terribly difficult, but if you give an inch-she'll ask for a mile. She has absolutely no bearing on how you live your life. You are the mother, you need to remind her of that.
2007-09-02 14:51:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You have given 100% to your daughter for 21 years
now its her turn to repay the debt.
This now your 21 years and let her know she can learn to accept this and show you and your partner some respect
when her relationship hits hard times you will be her first call and she has to accept your choice for happiness
Good luck
2007-09-02 14:53:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
listen mom dont worry as long as you are happy i know that you love your daugher very much and want her to be a part of your life. but she has no right telling you that its either her or him. She is married and has her own family. If she doesnt want to be part of your life then she is going to miss out not you. keep your door open and never close it. See marriage is never perfect you must work at it.
2007-09-02 14:55:06 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋