Is it possible for me to be living a life that I shouldent be?

Question

I keep thinking that if I had a chance to I would go back and do alot of things differently. I know thats not uncommon for older people but I'm only 18. I cant stop thinking that somewhere along the way my childhood kinda went off track and now all I am is a heaping pile of wasted potential?

Answer 1

If you are depressed at the moment some of the following symptoms may sound familiar:


You feel miserable and sad.
You feel exhausted a lot of the time with no energy .
You feel as if even the smallest tasks are sometimes impossible.
You seldom enjoy the things that you used to enjoy-you may be off sex or food or may 'comfort eat' to excess.
You feel very anxious sometimes.

You don't want to see people or are scared to be left alone. Social activity may feel hard or impossible.

You find it difficult to think clearly.

You feel like a failure and/or feel guilty a lot of the time.

You feel a burden to others.

You sometimes feel that life isn't worth living.

You can see no future. There is a loss of hope. You feel all you've ever done is make mistakes and that's all that you ever will do.
You feel irritable or angry more than usual.

You feel you have no confidence.

You spend a lot of time thinking about what has gone wrong, what will go wrong or what is wrong about yourself as a person. You may also feel guilty sometimes about being critical of others (or even thinking critically about them).
You feel that life is unfair.

You have difficulty sleeping or wake up very early in the morning and can't sleep again. You seem to dream all night long and sometimes have disturbing dreams.

You feel that life has/is 'passing you by.'

You may have physical aches and pains which appear to have no physical cause, such as back pain.

It's this wealth of depression symptoms, and the broad scope that confuses many people as to what depression actually is. Explanations rarely cover all the symptoms, and everybody's experience is different.

Answer 2

Being 56, I can relate to your situation. But I can tell you from a later perspective, don't sit around worrying about what might have been.

Begin by forgetting that notion you are a heaping pile of wasted potential. It is only wasted if you continue to not use it. The past is done. Can't change it. OK? Time is moving forward. You should too.

You sound like something is missing in your life. What is it? What spiritual or emotional needs do you have?

Some people need no purpose in life. Some do. I feel you are the latter. If you could do anything in the world, money and time are no objects, what would it be? The first thing that comes to mind is the true choice.

Do not analyze this with your head. Be quiet and listen to your heart.

Answer 3

It is not possible to be living a life different than what is. Your mind is swirling around in a fantasy land of apparent lost opportunities and a dismal future. What an unfortunate place you are putting yourself in. Take a moment to just find yourself, as if on a map, and stop contemplating where you think you 'should' be. (In fact, start seeing the words "should" and "shouldn't" as the enemy of peace, because they are.)

Find exactly where you are and what steps you need to take to get back on track to where you want to be. And keep trying. If you keep failing, then you need to understand that you are trying to take steps too big. Take the smallest most effective steps you can to get you going in the direction you want. The more practice you get at doing the smallest most effective steps will give you the experience you need to speed up.

Stop comparing yourself to others, to other's expectations of you, and to your own expectations of yourself. Ground yourself in the here and now (reality) and go from there. And when you find yourself getting frantic, stop and find yourself again on your map. Get to know you. Don't think you should be something you are TRULY not. Once you understand your own nature, your own strengths, and your own weaknesses, then you can research what is the best course of action for yourself. Be kind with yourself, be gentle, and be persistent, like teaching a baby how to walk. Learn to laugh at your falls and applaud your advances.

Good luck. You are perfectly where YOU need to be because that is where you are...

Answer 4

Us oldsters have a saying.. "hindsight is 20/20" I think it's good for anyone to look back and learn from their experiences as long as we don't psychologically beat ourselves up about it or dwell on it too long.
Hehehe.. 18 is much too young to feel so past your prime.
Life goes on.. Grandma Moses began painting in her seventies and gained fame.
You have lots of time to fulfill your potential.