I have a dilemma: I've been single for the last year or so and I met the woman of my dreams. She lives on the other side of Canada, and she has a boyfriend (whom she's been with for 4 years). She flew to the city I live in to do some research and will be coming back again in 6 mo. I sent her an email stating I was attracted. She called back -- we talked for hours. I then sent an email asking what would be best for her, and best for her boyfriend. She replied, stating she told her boyfriend about having talked with me for hours and basically that her life was, well, messed up now because she keeps "settling." I emailed her again stating that her integrity and honesty were commendable, then something like "wouldn't it be nice if you could just come and live with me?" She is finishing a PhD and I don't know what the resolution for all parties concerned is. I haven't heard from her in 3 days. Any game theory experts or relationship savvy people with constructive comments on this?
2007-09-02 14:17:16 · 5 answers · asked by Aiden 4 in Science & Mathematics ➔ Mathematics
Some important points to consider:
1) She managed to have the same boyfriend for 4 years, whereas she has no idea of how would be life with you like.
2) She resides far away, in Canada, where she has some affective ties, doubtless.
3) You made clear that she would have to move in order to live with you, and not the reverse.
4) She is still finishing her PhD and so she cannot move right now (this remaining time is likely to play in your defavor since her boyfriend know the game and thus is likely to retaliate).
Her boyfriend holds the advantage for the 4 aforesaid arguments whereas you don't have any but your love for her, whose depth she has valuable reasons to question since choosing you is a choice entailing several important changes, (and constraints, probably) in her life, without any guarantee of any sort in return. Be objective about this last very important point.
Also, bear in mind this old saying, which says, in substance: "far from one's eyes; far from one's heart."
She runs no risk in choosing to stay where she lives with her boyfriend, whereas she runs many in choosing the second option.
If you are unable to add something more to your offer--and it might be pretty difficult--then her boyfriend has much more chances to win than you.
While considering this last estimate, don't forget that if this person is finishing a PhD, then she is likely to be a down-to-earth and thoughful person with a rational turn of mind which is much likely to tell her that reason must overcome passion.
I would willingly compare your story with this of the popular movie, The Horse Whisperer, if by any chance you did watch it.
2007-09-02 14:56:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Move on. She say her life is already messed up and then you suggest she moves in with you. Red flag city! She needs time to work through things without being pressured into escalating a relationship that hasn't even really started.
2007-09-02 14:30:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
o KH3 is with regard to the KEyblade wars i tink. Adn beginning by employing Sleep is Ten YEars forward. AND Ven An Aqua Lived on the island with riku and Sora. And 358/2 days is ABou How roxas got here to connect employer and Crap so yea. cant wait.
2016-12-31 10:26:33 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 rd answer.
2 scored
2007-09-02 18:07:47 · answer #4 · answered by J.SWAMY I ఇ జ స్వామి 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
stop emailing and call her, be a man about it
2007-09-02 14:25:54 · answer #5 · answered by ur boy needo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋