He says I'm stubborn and he's always on her side.. NEVER my side. Isn't marriage supposed to be a teamwork? She's always in our business. She wanted to tell us what to wear at our own wedding. What can I do about this?
2007-09-02 10:21:45 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My son (if I have one) would get married and I'd be like that. Leave me.. fu ck.. I'll never tell my daughter in law what to wear..that's HER and my sons wedding. That's their life.. NOT MINE.
2007-09-02 10:43:44 · update #1
We have been married 3 damn years. The wedding thing is the first thing she ever did to interfere. We have 1 child and one one the way.
How sad is it?
2007-09-02 12:06:04 · update #2
We have been married 3 damn years. The wedding thing is the first thing she ever did to interfere. We have 1 child and one one the way.
How sad is it?
2007-09-02 12:08:06 · update #3
she doesn't understand boundaries. You have to set them and your husband needs to be a man and back you up. Apparently he doesn't understand that you are now a family unit- Dad, mom and babies. Other relatives are like support staff. Seek therapy or look for a good book about this issue. This has to be dealt with because it won't get any better!
2007-09-02 18:05:28 · answer #1 · answered by coolmommy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is the greatest threat to a successful marriage. If your Husband always caves for his moms wants you are going to face frustration on just about everything. I take it that his mothers ideas are always what He will choose. You have nothing but a revolving door relationship with your hubby as you start doing one thing and when his mom has a opinion on what ever it is he will change his mind and run around her way. and the two of you are in a revolving door that has no exit and your 180 degrees apart going in circles. You are going to need outside help such as a counselor to get on the same page, as he see's nothing wrong with the way things are. This is one tough problem , some people will blissfully ignore the problems that their parent can cause. You stand to loose on everything he listens to from his mom, and your just mad because you don't like his mom.and you become the problem after you keep bringing up stuff up thats all ready decide on, Right?You are not going to change his mind, you need a way for him to see what is really going on. You may seriously need a councelor to get him to look at the whole picture as you just get him mad at you.
2007-09-02 18:03:41 · answer #2 · answered by redd headd 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I can tell you're stressed and I'm sorry for that. I know what you're going through - been there. I can tell you from experience, though, that being defensive only shuts down the communication between you and your man. Also; this is stuff you and your man need to (calmly) discuss together and he needs to be the one talking to his parents (not you).
It'd also go a long way to give in on some things and let them have the control of things that you can tolerate...they just want to feel included.
I know it doesn't seem fair but in order for them to welcome you with open arms, you've gotta make the first move. And know that however you handle yourself now will determine how things will be AFTER you're married.
Think hard and make wise decisions!
2007-09-02 17:58:35 · answer #3 · answered by lookinforanswers 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He's a momma's boy, sweetie, and he doesn't see it. And it will not change. Truly. If you marry this guy, she will forever be first... she has made sure of that... In her eyes she wiped his little butt, and that makes her THE top lady in her son's life... And she is not going to allow you to get in the way.... And he has bought into it..... What can you do about it??? Really??? Don't marry this man. You have no clue what you are in for... none. zero. If I started writing now, I wouldn't be finished even by Tuesday.
2007-09-02 19:00:14 · answer #4 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
They always say, find a man who loves his mother. Quit being jealous of your husbands mother, accept her for who she is and you will have an easier time of it. Don't judge her until you have a son of your own. Maybe you will do the same thing, you can say you won't, but in all honesty...walk a mile in her shoes first. She helped him to be who you fell in love with, right?? Don't put him in a position of choosing, it will put stresses on your marriage. Put your self on her side for once and maybe he will pick both of you. She is in your business because he wants her there and for no other reason. Love the man and accept his mother, you don't have to agree all the time but to fight is a ridiculous waste of time, marriage is hard work in any case to have an outside hatred to the mother who has loved your husband longer than you.
2007-09-02 18:01:23 · answer #5 · answered by Cheri >^.^< 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to your husband about this and get some counsling. Explain to him that your MIL isn't helping and that it was extreeme that she wanted to chose what you wore at your wedding. Tell him that you would not like to see her until she can change her ways. Don't talk to her for a few months and then invite her to dinner. If she starts to be in your buisness, simply say "I'm sorry, but we've decided to keep some things private about our life." If she persists, I suggest you tell her "We don't want to share our buisness with you, now please can we talk about something else." And if she still persists, start getting nosy with her life! Ask all of the questions she asks you that you can. Soon she'll relize she isn't being liked for doing that. When you have children, explain to her that you want to chose how you raise them and if you need help, you will ask, but until then she needs to keep her mouth shut about tips. (You can say it nicer than I just wrote it :D)
If after you've talked to her and she still is very nosy, I suggest you stop speaking to her. Change your number and don't give it to her and keep it unlisted. Best of luck!
~Taylor
2007-09-02 18:01:52 · answer #6 · answered by Jasmine 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not sure,
I was married to a man like that for 16 years. Total mamma's boy! They live together now...(he's 62)
She was always stirring things up and he would never say anything or take a stand with me as a team.. She still buys everything for him, you name it he's got it. You've got a tough row to hoe, I wish you all the best.
2007-09-02 17:42:17 · answer #7 · answered by Frances B 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
move thousands of miles away. seriously.i could suggest other solutions but they'd require your husband to be on your side...well, this one too in a way but come up with a reason (other than his mom) maybe a better paying job or possibilitiy of owning a home or something...and go with it. that is the only thing i can think of right now. sorry, i feel for u though.
:)
2007-09-02 17:27:23 · answer #8 · answered by mama2be 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you honestly just now finding out that your husband is a mama's boy? He's never going to change, so you either accept it or move on. Life is too short to stress, and if you're not happy, then your priority (if there are no children involved) is to focus on you.
2007-09-02 17:30:47 · answer #9 · answered by HeIsMyAllinAll 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My situation is similar to yours but its his mom and his grandma. I wish I could help you but I can't lie to you. If your husband is like mine, you can talk to him until you're blue in the face but it doesn't work. The only thing I can suggest is you having an adult convo w/ mom but I honestly don't think she'll change. It is really your husband that has to change and put his foot down. Will he do it? I don't know but I'm still working on mine
Please don't listen to that lonely a** "Dog Owner" or "Hesmyallinall". People that don't have no experience with that situation wouldn't understand and don't have a clue what they are talking about
Dog Owner: Get a grip. Nobody is jealous of their mil. We simply want a little respect from them. She has no right to be in her son's affairs with his wife. Who wouldn't be frustrated by that? Obviously u r a nosy mil ur self
2007-09-02 17:42:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋