My ex-husband and I have been divorced for about two months. We had a daughter together that will be 3 months in 2 weeks. The court gave me full custody and said my husband could see her whenever he liked as long as he contacted me.
Well today I get a call from my ex. He said that he doesn't want to see Ava (our daughter) anymore because he got his new girl pregnat and he didn't want Ava to see the baby. I was so shocked! He cares more about his new lady and his new baby more than his own daughter!
We live in different states and we are not near each other by cities at all, so this will be easy for him. He doesn't want pictures, letters, e-mails,IMs or anything from/about her at all.
He also says he's going to stop paying child and spousel support. How can I get over the pain and make sure I get child and spousel support that the court ordered to give me 2 months back? Any advice will be appreaciated.
2007-09-02 09:47:35 · 13 answers · asked by Jasmine 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We're divorced because he cheateed on me and I walked in on him. He admitted he had began doing it when I got pregnat with Ava and contunied to after that. It was a very messy divorce,expecially since he had a daughter from a previous relationship that I had grown close to. We do keep in touch and his first wife and I are also in touch and are friends.
2007-09-02 10:07:55 · update #1
I just feel so weird sometimes. I'm only 28 and so many things have been happening to me. I'm caring for my 13 year old niece and I adopted a 1 1/2 year old girl last month, my new relationship is going to new levels, I just feel so stressed!
2007-09-02 10:10:24 · update #2
Just when you thought the pain was over, something like this happens. It sounds to me as if this "man" and I use that term loosely, is trying to escape his responsibilities as a parent. He also mentioned that he did not want any info regarding his daughter. Since when has it became neccesary for you to give into his wants, especially after the divorce. My advice is to send him pictures, updates, and a certified copy of the court document requiring him to pay mandatory child support. No, it is true that he can forfeit his rights for visitation, but that does not negate him from his responsibilities(monetarily) for support of the child he helped to create. By continuing to send the aforementioned info regularly, this act will send him a signal that you will not let him side-step his responsibilities, and you WILL pursue all neccesary means to collect upon it. If he gets foolish enough to try and relocate, track him down and continue sending the info. Eventually he will concede or go to jail.
2007-09-02 10:27:57 · answer #1 · answered by blissfully_incoherent 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a pure low life he is,he doesn't deserve anything nice in his life if he can abandon his child like this,especially in the way that he has done.
Just remember,his new girlfriend will have all this to come in time,he's already proved what he's capable of.
See a lawyer and find out what your rights are as regards money from this low life,he shouldn't be allowed to get away with the money side of things,and I doubt he will legally.
Maybe his new girl is calling all the shots here,this often happens in life,but at the end of the day,he has a mind of his own and if he can't do the right thing by his child,he's a coward.
He called you and said he didn't want Ava to see the baby,more like his girlfriend said that,so lets get real here.
And she's probably the one who's told the low life he hasn't to pay you any money either.
I would be asking her how she would feel if she was in your shoes and he'd said all this to her? Cos if they split,it WILL happen to her too.
I hope she has a conscience,but I doubt it.
She says jump,he asks how high,they deserve eachother.
2007-09-06 15:41:28 · answer #2 · answered by tinyfeet64 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if he doesn't want to be involved in her life, he's legally required to pay child support and alimony and he can go to jail or get in real trouble if he doesn't. Talk to a lawyer and have the lawyer send your ex a letter stating the consequences of failing to pay.
And get some satisfaction that he'll probably cheat on the little wh0re that was cheating with him and she and her new baby will get the same treatment. I feel bad for his kids, because they don't deserve this but if the little twit he's with now is stupid enough to think that he won't cheat on her, she deserves what she gets.
Make sure he keeps paying and count your blessings that you got rid of him while you're still young. You'll find someone good to be with, just you wait. And I saw your response to the most hurtful thing that has ever been said to you and I hope you didn't take what he said to heart. He's the one who sucks and he pissed it away. Good luck hon.
2007-09-02 18:02:30 · answer #3 · answered by abrennan01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, if he does not want to see your daughter, then so be it. It would be better for her to grow up w/o him in her life, than for him to be involved and for her to know that he wants nothing to do with her. Right?!?
Secondly, if he was ordered to pay spousal support and child support, then he HAS to pay that. It's not an option. If he does not pay, take him back to court and attach his wages so that you make sure you get what is due to you and Ava!!
You can also have him arrested for failure to pay after the amount owed gets to a certain amount. Contact a lawyer, your courthouse or the child support division in the town where you were awarded the support and find out what you can do and do it!!
2007-09-02 16:55:13 · answer #4 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry about your situation... First off, you must know that him not wanting to see the ya'lls daughter is no fault of your own... He made his own choice and when your daughter is older, it is him that she will ask why he wanted nothing to do with her... As for child support and alimony, federal matters must be handled by the courts... Once again he has made the choice not to pay and its not your fault!,,, You just keep serving him with papers and let him take the fall, whether its jail time, garnished wages, or loss of tax returns, the government will get their money and eventually so will you... I am 23 and my mom is just now getting backed child support for the last 18 years... The government will find him and he will pay up!
2007-09-02 16:59:02 · answer #5 · answered by dshivonne 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can threaten to stop child support...and if he stops paying he will be contempt of court and could very well go to jail. What a lousy man! Your daughter is better off without this miserable excuse for a father.
2007-09-02 16:58:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
While he can walk out of the opportunity to get to know his child just by not doing it, A court order is not going to go away. Contact the courts if he is in violation and get it enforced. Call the child support recovery unit in your state. If you are getting support from welfare, they will get it enforced. Keep your child in contact with her half sister if it is possible through your ex's past ex. He is a jerk to just dispose of a child that way.
2007-09-06 17:57:30 · answer #7 · answered by Lioness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what a tough question. i cant imagen what your going through. you must be strong for your daughter. i know your upset but do you really want this so called man in your daughters life? he HAS to pay you for hes daughter, he cant decide that he dont want to pay anymore. you are better off without this man. get back in touch with the court and tell them what has happened. he Will have to pay and if he dosent he can get in a lot of trouble. dont argue with this man just tell him you will be getting legal advice and leave it as that. keep your chin up and best of luck. xxx
2007-09-02 16:58:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can't skip child support, even if he gives up visitation. The minute he's behind, call the police and he stays in jail until he catches up. Tell him that and also tell him the minute he's behind, his new girlfriend will find out everything!
2007-09-02 16:55:32 · answer #9 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to need to hire an attorney to protect your baby's interests. He might think he can do this, but he can't. He doesn't have to see her, but he sure does have to pay what was ordered him to pay. He can't just chuck everything because he found someone new to start over with. Welcome to the 21st century, you big loser of a man! Don't let him get away with this. Report this to your attorney.
2007-09-02 16:52:57 · answer #10 · answered by Sassie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋