How do you start to like yourself? (serious question)?

Question

Where do you begin to start to like yourself? I don't like me! Not because I'm a nasty person, in fact I'm very nice, I just don't like me. You may say 'well change' but these are things I can't change. I'm disabled so how do I move on and stop being ashamed?

Answer 1

1. it's impossible to like yourself much when you’re doing something you think is wrong

It doesn’t matter how much rationalization you do, or how thickly you try to cover it with justification, if you think it’s wrong or bad, and you keep doing it, you cannot like yourself. So the way to like yourself more is to clean up your integrity.

You may not like to hear that, and I don’t blame you. It sounds like a horrible burden. But it’s not. It lightens your load and makes it more fun to be alive. Here are three steps to a self you like and respect. Make a list of what you’re doing that you think is wrong and stop doing those things. You might keep backsliding for awhile, but if you keep at it, you’ll make it.

2. make a list of things you should be doing + aren’t

Never mind what others think you should or shouldn’t do or what you’ve been told is right or wrong. Just pay attention to what you feel is right or wrong. And make sure you write it out. This, by itself, will give you some relief, because we are never as bad as we think we are. When you write it out, you’ll see that. The list will be finite. Work on one thing at a time. Then cross it off your list.

3. make amends for anything you’ve done in the past that you feel guilty about

Some situations only need an apology, or just an admission that you did it. Other situations will require you to take some action to make up for the damage you did. Before you get started on this, you should know that it’s never as bad as you think it will be. It’s easier to make amends than it first may seem. Be creative. Make it fun. You may come up with a wild idea, but if it seems right to you, try it.

Forgive yourself for all the “bad” things you’ve done. This should be fairly easy since you’ve already taken responsibility for your past and present action.

4. you need to forgive yourself

To forgive yourself simply means to give up resentment against yourself, or give up the desire to punish yourself. Since you have taken and are taking responsibility for your actions, to continue to punish yourself or resent yourself is just silly. You are human. Humans make mistakes. You’ve recognized that and corrected your mistakes. That’s something to feel good about. So forgive yourself. A decision is all that’s required.

Simply decide to stop resenting yourself and give up any intentions of punishing yourself take these four steps to a self you really like. You’ll gain strength and confidence and the peace that comes from knowing you do what’s right. Fortify your integrity.

What the world needs now is integrity, sweet integrity.

where to tap

Ever hear the story of the giant ship engine that failed? The ship’s owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure out how to fix the engine. Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.

Two of the ship’s owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed! A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.

“What?!” the owners exclaimed. “He hardly did anything!”

So they wrote the old man a note saying, “Please send us an itemized bill.”

The man sent a bill that read:

Tapping with a hammer ........................ $2.00

Knowing where to tap ............................ $9998.00

Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life makes all the difference.

And here’s something I’ve learned from experience and study: If you want to improve your life overall, the best place to tap is exercise. I injured a tendon not too long ago and didn’t exercise for about a month. I’ve started again, and I’ve become a born-again exerciser!

I’d forgotten how good it is for my sense of well-being. I have more energy, a better attitude, a gentler disposition. It’s easier to be the kind of person I want to be. Our bodies need daily exercise, and when we don’t exercise, it makes us feel bad. I think it’s our natural state to be energetic and feeling good. But the lack of exercise prevents that. A consensus is building among doctors, psychologists and those trying to help others become saner, happier and healthier:

Exercise is the place to start. If you were in a position to give advice, and someone unhappy or unhealthy came to you for guidance but you were allowed to give only one word of advice, the best thing you could recommend is: Exercise! Exercise regularly.

Answer 2

You have nothing to be ashamed for, you can start by appreciating who you are and the nice person you are then you will love yourself.

Focus less on the things you cannot change and pay more focus on the things you change. Even people who haven't got a disability to feel self conscious now and then, but that is not a reason to hate who you are.

In most cases if you have a good personality, people tend to overlook the other disadvantages you have in your body. So let your good personality shines and you will start to love yourself, as you will notice the way people will treat you.

Answer 3

Since when is a disability something to be ashamed of?
I am proud of you just for doing what you are doing, holding down a job and planning to go back to school, despite the disability.
How many people with disabilities find it easier to whine and collect social security? You are doing great, Nina. Hang in there. You are a strong person. You are a nice person. You have a sense of humor. I like you even if we have never met and probably never will.
Just don't eat too much of that French bread!

Answer 4

Sometimes it takes a while to really like yourself,but be assured that you can!#1.is you have to let go of the past..and work in your negative feelings.I am also disabled,and you can dwell on that or focus on the abilities you do have.You should not be ashamed,because God never gives us more than we can handle.I've noticed with disabilities,that you are given something else that you are good at.If all else fails,I would seriously think of talking to a psychologist about your self-hatred.Find good friends that support you,and to find friends you must also be a friend.I believe you can change the way you feel,but it will not happen overnight.Please seek out help otherwise,and I pray that you will start loving the person you are!!!I will be thinking about you!

Answer 5

Looks and disabilities are nothing to be ashamed of, the only thing you should be ashamed of is if your actions upset other people, the best looking and fittest people can be nasty hurtful people who should be ashamed of themselves. If you are nice to other people then nice people will like you too, and if people judge you just because you are disabled then they are not nice people so who needs them anyway. Don't be so hard on yourself, we all have things that we don't like about ourselves and it's hard sometimes not to get hung up on them but give yourself a break and try to focus on your good points of which i'm sure you have lots. Good luck honey.

Answer 6

I became disabled about 5 years ago after a serious crash, and for the past 3 years i have hated myself. I went through cognitive therapy and stuff, which sort of gave me the ways to take to start finding a "new" me that i like. Its been difficult, but the thing that REALLY started me liking myself was when i started to make cards just as a therapy. The first few were rubbish, but then i started to do good ones. This was the first step in learning to believe in myself, and day by day i try to do one thing that i really respect myself for. Each person is different. its a long hard road, but each day i am finding little things about me that i DO like. It also helps to have friends around you who understand why you dislike yourself so much, then they can praise you for tiny simple things which can then increase your confidence. I am not yet back to believing in myself totally, but at least i dont hate the "new" me as much as i did. Contact your gp for advice on counselling/therapy, try find a tiny little thing each day that you are pleased with yourself for, then you can start to believe that you CAN change yourself one day in the future. Its all well and good to say, just change, you cant, you need tiny steps to start with, the same way babies gain confidence in what they do as they grow each day. I still have bad times when i really hate myself, but they are getting less and less. In a couple of years time i am hoping that i am back to the confidence "me" from before the accident, but in different ways. It wont be easier, but you have to persevere.

Answer 7

you can't change your disability but you can break free from your mind. you sound like a really nice person , but i do understand how you feel. i have been in that place where i didn't like me and i hated myself . i had cancer and hated every time i looked in the mirror and saw the scars on my neck and throat of where i had surgery and i felt ugly and i retreated into myself and i had really bad depression. i strongly urge you to see a councillor and to talk about how you feel . it will take time and you will begin to feel better about yourself. it is obvious you want help but you don't know where to start , but you have already started by asking how you can do it. i wish you all the luck in the world and hope you do eventually feel better about yourself. take care.

Answer 8

You said it yourself, you are a nice person.
You are obviously focusing too much on the negative aspects of yourself. You probably hate the fact that you are disabled. This doesn't make you unlikeable.
Find other people who like you. Spend time around them. When other people like you, you will start to like yourself.

Answer 9

Why are you ashamed?
It unneccesary~
you must find a councellor and talk through this
write down the things you have achieved and you're good at and start from there
you are your own best friend so if you are gunning yourself down you are going to get depressed
theres a book caleed healing the child within by charles l whitefield
and another by rick carson called taming your greml;ins
both an be obtained through amazon.com

gie them a go and talk to someone

Answer 10

Everyone has to look at what is good about themselves. We all have bad points in our characters, but dwelling on anything negative just causes heartache.

You should never be ashamed of who you are. You should be proud. You have insights into life that many other people could never have. You are unique.

Answer 11

Look in the mirror and tell yourself you love yourself over and over again. You can't help but smile and even if you don't believe it at first, it will happen.
Five mins, morning and night, couple of weeks; you have nothing to lose and everything to gain?
Good luck lovely person xx.