He has been working in the US for 5 years, paying taxes and still is not a citizen. He claims to love me very much but Im afraid if I marry him it may just be for his citizenship! I just don't want to marry him until he has his citizenship so that I know he really wants to marry me for me. He has bought me a ring and I turned him down. He says I dont love him because I won't marry him. I do love him but I have heard of so many horror stories about these aliens who sweep woman off their feet and divorce them after they get their citeznship. What do you think?
2007-09-02 08:26:00 · 18 answers · asked by 112 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honestly, I think you are being mature in your approach to this. They fact that you can't trust your boyfriend's motives, proves you should not be marrying him yet. Simply say, you need more time to date. Date for another year or so and encourage him to get his citzenship.
Time will tell if he is genuine.
Good for you for being mature and logical in your relationship
2007-09-02 08:34:06 · answer #1 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have suspicions that is all he is looking for then follow your gut BUT you have been dating for 2 years and he has been working here for 5 years already so that might not be what he is looking for. Is he already a permanent resident (i.e. has his "green card"). If so he doesn't need you to become a citizen if he even wants to be one (believe it or not not everyone wants to be a citizen of the USA). Also just because he marries you doesn't automatically make him a citizen. You have to hold a green card for at least 3 years after you have married the US person before you can even apply for citizenship. And when you apply you can still be denied.
I'd have to think that if he just wanted you for the citizenship it wouldn't have taken him 2 years to propose. Just my opinion though.
2007-09-02 15:57:01 · answer #2 · answered by jenny s 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I say do what's best for you and if you don't trust it then don't do it. Yet if you love him and been dating him for over 2 years surely you knew this day would come. My sister was proposed to by a guy from Africa she turned him down and he ended up marrying some other chick, after he got his citizenship he divorced the woman, but she took him to court and now gets alimony. I think you should talk to a lawyer first and see what are your rights before you jump into that pool. If he divorces you you want to make sure that you win as well and not just him. Hope this helps
2007-09-02 15:39:24 · answer #3 · answered by Survivor 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt wait for him to get citizenship. Thats getting rough.
Its like any other "just for my" situation. My money, my position, citizenship. If I were you I would get a really stiff pre-nuptual agreement done up. That would also help him since the immigration people are going to be looking real hard at BOTH of you for the same reason.
In fact, talk to the immigration people and they might have some suggestions on what you should put into a pre-nupt to make such a tactic null and void if thats all he is doing.
Its the same thing that people with money do over the same worry.
2007-09-04 17:46:14 · answer #4 · answered by Gandalf Parker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you'll marry him AFTER he becomes a citizen. If you marry him before and he decides he doesn't "love" you any longer and leaves he can be deported, have his passport confiscated and never allowed back into the country, I know that wouldn't bother you...but what MIGHT bother you is the fact that you'd be charged and convicted on fraud against the government and be put into a federal prison (it's a felony) When you get out of prison you will find it horribly difficult to find a job other than hawking french fries in a fast food establishment for minimum wage because not many employers are willing to hire convicted felons...that's why that question is on every single job application.
2007-09-02 17:10:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. Is he from a country that someone wouldn't really want to be in? My now husband was here on a student's visa (he's from Canada), and had plans to go back. But, he fell in love with me and wanted to stay. We both could have gone to Canada, but BRRRRR... cold, eww. We loved each other and got married so he could stay here with me. I guess you could say we got married for his green card, but that doesn't make it done out of anything other than love. We have been married almost 4 years, he's a permanent resident, and we are very happy:)
I'd definitely say go with your gut, but if you think he really loves you, yet he's having trouble staying in the country, sometimes maybe you have to take the risk. If he's been here 5 years on some visa, paying taxes and working just fine, why would he need an actually green card. Is he all of a sudden having some immigration issue?
2007-09-02 15:36:53 · answer #6 · answered by Dolyn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not marry him until you know exactly what is going on with his citizenship. You can consult a citizenship lawyer (many will give free consultations) to find out exactly what he needs to get done. Also the laws/requirements for immigrants becoming citizens vary depending on which country they come from.
But all in all, always trust your instincts. If you are distrusting him now, why would you ever dream of marrying him? Without realizing it, you have already picked up on clues that are causing you to question his motives....
2007-09-02 15:35:33 · answer #7 · answered by tribeca_salonika 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have a lot of good sense about this. I would say that he's being immature. You can love someone without wanting to marry them! I would also say that all along, he's had an ulterior motive. You've been with him for over two years. Have you thought of breaking with him now? It will give you a chance to meet someone else who is already an American and won't use you. Good luck.
2007-09-02 15:31:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marrying him will not automatically make him a citizen. The laws have changed about that. In order for him to become a citizen, he has to apply and be accepted on his own.
2007-09-02 15:49:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just know that as any relationship the heart and mind must meet as one.. if it does not feel right then it probably not... If he loves you he will go the extra steps to make it right... I know plenty of people that came the right way here and did not marry someone to become a critizen...
2007-09-02 15:34:29 · answer #10 · answered by PATRICIA H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋