I am sick and tired of my parents fighting all the time and my dad threatening my mom and us all the time. Im miserable and so are my siblings. I try to talk to my mom about just leaving him but she never wants to hear it. She always says oh he'll change and that everyone has their moments. Im tired of this and sometimes I never even want to come home. So how do I make my mom understand that by staying in this stupid marriage she's just hurting us,the kids. All of us want it to end already. We're all sick and tired of this crap we have to deal with everyday.How to I try to talk to her and convince her its for the best. She thinks that she cant survive without him which I dont see how that is becaouse he doesnt even work or do anything. I dont know what to do anymore. Im tired of fighting and standing up to him because she wont when he threatens us or her or does some other crap. Anyways I need help on how to talk to her. Sorry for it being so long. I just needed to vent.
2007-09-02 07:58:30 · 7 answers · asked by lilcutie8899 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dear,
Not only your mother is afraid to a divorce. Every married women on earth is afraid to be divorce.
That's your life. Be patient. Face the problems and never goes against it. Solve the family problems.
2007-09-02 08:12:03 · answer #1 · answered by AHMAD FUAD Harun 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You can't make her change. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth. She is probably suffering from very low self esteem and doesn't think she deserves a better life. the problem is, it's not only her life that she is ruining. It's yours and your siblings.
Maybe if you and your siblings all got together and said you will stand by her during this, that you love her and want a better life for her, it would have some impact. Let her know it's not only in her best interest, but yours as well.
If she won't listen, then you need to distance yourself from their problems. Don't get involved in their fights. Just leave the room or the house when it happens. Don't take sides. Just stay out of it as best you can.
I'm really sorry you have to go through this. If nothing else, you can learn from it so you don't repeat these same mistakes when you are older and dating.
2007-09-02 08:13:36 · answer #2 · answered by candy'sroom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry for you and your situation.
To me it sounds like your mom is very, very needy and thinks that she can't survive without a man in her life. She sounds like she is in denial of all of the problems that are going on.
I think that maybe you and your siblings should seek some sort of counceling on how to help yourselves and her.
Your mom could definately benefit from some counceling and she needs a boost to her self esteem. It is hard to do things if you have low or no self-esteem.
Has she ever filed charges on your dad for hitting her?
Does she ever go to the hospital for treatment after he has hit her? It is important to have records to document these attacks and to let the police get involved.
There are shelters for battered and abused women that could possibly offer you information on getting help and gettting out of this awful situation.
Good luck with your mother and hopefully she will "wake up" sooner than later to the damage that is being done to you and your sibling, not to mention the damage that is being done to her.
2007-09-02 08:16:17 · answer #3 · answered by Su-Nami 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever called the cops when he threatens you? Try calling child protective services if you don't want to live there anymore. Can you live with a relative? If you're mom won't leave, neither you nor anyone can make her. So, either ride if out or do what I suggested above. Good luck and best wishes.
2007-09-02 08:07:56 · answer #4 · answered by gma 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time to take a firm stand - for your self. I don't know your age, but you are still a developing person. This discord will embed itself in your psyche and you will repeat your parents mistakes. It happens to us all.
You need to make your rights known - out loud, louder then their issues with each other. You need to stand tall and notify them of their selfish behavior and how detrimental it is to your development.
If they don't get it, or resent a child being stronger and smarter then themselves, you need to find an intelligent family member you can go live with. And get there soon.
Make a plan, decide what you need as a human being. And implement it. Your future mental, emotional health is at stake. Your parents need a wakeup call. You can be the one to give it to them. Write them a long, long letter detailing how their destructive behavior is effecting you. Make sure you have a place to go in case they receive your letter negatively and turn their anger toward you.
Talk to a family member you trust. Hopefully you have one. If you don't have a family member to turn to, then another adult you trust. If you have siblings, take them with you.
2007-09-02 09:16:22 · answer #5 · answered by Beck 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your dad is abusive/violent, call the cops.
The first time will be a "warning." That'll scare him into behaving hopefully.
If he's violent towards you, call CPS and get out of there!!!
If he's just mean, talk to him about it, or get an uncle or other relative (of his) to mediate.
2007-09-02 08:15:21 · answer #6 · answered by iLuvMyHubby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
***** slap your mom,
2007-09-02 08:26:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋