This is a poem i wrote called my last breath..
The air around is cold and hard to take in
The woods are dead silent
Something does not seem right
Only one knows I am about to take
My last breath
The peaceful quiet is disrupted
By footsteps behind me
Another sound comes
And I realize it is me
Running from my last breath
Hands come around my throat
And I know that I
Cannot do anything but pray
And I silently prepare
For my last breath
The words of the stranger
Chill my bones
He says that I
Should not waste
My last breath
I slip into blackness
And know
He was right
I should not waste
My last breath
When I open my eyes
I look at my chest
And see a knife in it
And I wonder when I will draw
My last breath
Hours pass or was it a minute
When I see a distant figure
He sees me too but runs away
In fear of the time of his
Last breath
My senses tell me that
My killer is not finished
With me just yet
He shall be the one to witness
My last brea
2007-09-02 06:59:57 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Last verse...
He comes to me
With a pistol in hand
The last sound I hear
Alerts me that I just took
My last breath
2007-09-02 11:14:50 · update #1
I do like! A victim telling a story during their murder, very intriguing. Great idea! It rings a sad tone to it though, like you want her to get away and not know that last breath is coming. To know someone else saw and did nothing and to know the worst was yet to come, then escape from the bad, with that last breath. Very good, two thumbs up!!
2007-09-02 07:36:05 · answer #1 · answered by Cheri >^.^< 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Agreed, was nicely written and easy to read, but I don't like it, not from a quality standpoint, but I am just plain tired of suicides and deaths. It's an overdone subject, and getting killed or killing oneself has gotten really old. Nice job though, I liked the writing.
2007-09-02 07:24:21 · answer #2 · answered by Dondi 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Puhhhlease...can this be anymore melodramatic,the time of the metaphysical has passed...
Yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn
2007-09-02 09:03:08 · answer #3 · answered by boo 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I like it alot.Probly one of the best ive ever read.
you have a talent =]]
2007-09-02 07:48:09 · answer #4 · answered by Kandice 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
nice prose in verse form.
2007-09-02 08:01:55 · answer #5 · answered by ari-pup 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow i really like it. its nicely written and has a good flow and rhythm to it.
2007-09-02 07:10:58 · answer #6 · answered by Nicole 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋