I've been married for the last 8 years and are perfectly happy. We travel, we have plenty of money, and we are not bound or restricted by anything (other than each other lol) We just have no need to have kids, some have told us that it's not right to be married and not want any kids. Some have called it selfish and others have called it immature but either way we're happy so it doesn't really matter in the end. Though I am curious what the general public (aka you people out there) think of it.
2007-09-02 06:10:44 · 35 answers · asked by John S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
People have no business telling you what you need to do with your marriage. If you don't want kids, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
2007-09-02 06:14:31 · answer #1 · answered by Stimpy 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I usually don't give any personal advice because it might be bad advice if I have never been in that situation. I've never been married and I don't have kids (as far as I know). However, I have a cousin who married and had kids at a very young age (they were in their early 20's). I think I'm two or three years older than my cousin but I told him that I don't plan on getting married or have kids anytime soon (even though my elderly grandmother, my other cousins, parents, uncles, and aunts keep bugging me about that). I enjoy the single life. He told me that's good and that I was lucky not to be married and have kids yet in my mid-20's. My cousin and his wife seemed bushed out, frustrated, and tired when he said that. Raising those three little kids is probably a real handful literally. I looked after them a few times and they're real little hellraisers. Sometimes the little girls want me to "fly" them. Lift them over my head so they can "fly" around like Underdog or Transformers. Having kids will probably change your life and personality from what I've seen from other friends who had kids early.
2007-09-02 06:54:00 · answer #2 · answered by James 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Immature is the exact opposite of what I would call it. You know what you want (or don't want) and you have made a very adult decision about it. Selfish or not, it's not immature. And there is NOTHING wrong with being selfish. Many people want children to fulfill some hole in thier lives, but if you feel like you are living a full and productive life, I see no need for children.
What seems more selfish to me is to have children when there are children out there that need a home...
2007-09-02 07:16:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not wanting to have kids in a marriage is okay. If the two of you are what makes each other happy enough than go for it . Not being a parent isnt a sin.Although the two of you will miss out on the most vaulable treasures that God has aloud us to have in our lives. It is a wonderous feeling being a mom. A little person who love you nomatter what. I wouldn't have passed up that chance for nothing in this world. A beautiful life. But if you two do it for the other. I am happy for you..
2007-09-02 08:56:43 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you and your wife are the smartest people. There are enough children in this world to last forever, so really there is no need for more people to bring children to this world. People who called you selfish and immature are jealous of your freedom and happiness with each other. People who have children; can't afford to travel and have money for themselves are the pathetic ones. By the time they have brought up their kids, they are already old and have nothing left for themselves, probably they will be forced to babysit their grandchildren. What a dreadful life!! Living for "other people" and not for themselves.
Kudos to both of you! I really admire you.
2007-09-02 21:25:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not selfish. I think it is admirable of you to know that you don't want kids. Some couples are pressured into having kids they don't want. I have an Aunt and Uncle that don't have kids by choice. They sound just like you two. They have traveled, a beautiful home, lots of nice clothing, and are very generous with their nieces and nephews. They both have great careers and always knew they didn't want kids. Just make sure you both agree.
2007-09-02 06:17:53 · answer #6 · answered by Julie H 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
i think its totally acceptable for you guys not to have kids. i know that if i ever got married i probably wouldn't want them either. in absolutely no way is it selfish of you and your wife, so please dont let those people persuade you to believe that. i think that if anyone has doubts about children then the best bet is not to have them, its not fair on the child to be growing up with parents who wern't ready and pushed into having a baby or didn't want one fullstop. if you guys are happy together then thats all that matters, and maybe someday you will decide to stop travelling and settle down with a baby, maybe you wont, who knows?! stay happy x
2007-09-02 06:17:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have 5 kids, I love them all very much but I have times when I could certainly envy you. If you guys are both truly happy then you should not care what anyone else thinks. Kids are not for everyone and there are defiantly some folk that should never have or should never have had kids. Enjoy life by your own design.
2007-09-02 06:20:54 · answer #8 · answered by unholycricket 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you don't want to have kids at this point is perfectly normal. Maybe you and your wife won't stay that way for ever though. My mother never wanted to have children, she wanted to be successful in her career, and her feeling was if she had kids she couldn't be. Overtime she changed her mind, and I'm glad she did! : )
But I personally don't think you're doing anything wrong.
2007-09-02 06:19:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The choice to have or NOT to have children should be left to the COUPLE and no one else... it is none of anyone else's business whether you have children or not... If you are happy and fulfilled with your life the way it is, that's all that should matter to you.... you are not weird or strange or evil or anything like that just because you CHOSE not to have kids....for those "well meaning" people who have to question your decision, maybe you should just tell them this was your choice and you are enjoying your life... I would BET that most of these WELL MEANING FRIENDS wish THEY could have YOUR LIFE!!!!! Ignore them when you can... OR get yourselves two t-shirts that say ---CHILDLESS AND LOVING IT and wear them when you meet up with these people.....
2007-09-02 06:20:14 · answer #10 · answered by LittleBarb 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with not wanting kids. It's certainly better to make the decision to not have them (and do something to prevent it) than to accidentally have them and be a bad parent.
Some people aren't meant to be parents.
BUT, don't be surprised if you have a change of heart as you get older. I never wanted kids because I didn't want the responsibility and wanted to be free to do what I want when I want - and now I'm baby crazy. ;)
2007-09-02 06:23:11 · answer #11 · answered by :://::Christi::\\:: 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋