Do you think that marriage is worth it anymore?

Question

I don't know the stats but it seems like most newly weds stay married for at least 3 to 5 years then they call it quits. Then you have the veterans. They've been married for at least 8 to 14 years and one day out of the blue (they stay together for the sake of their children) they decide to call it quits. Then you have the "faithful" few. These are people who "come hell or high water" they're sticking it out no matter what. Your thoughts & comments are welcomed.

Never married don't even have a girlfriend. This is strictly from an "observation" point of view. My friends, my friends "friends", family and just random people.

Xman is straight up. I like that. ( ^ _ ^ )

Answer 1

Marraige isn't 50/50...it's 100/100. Both spouses have to put in all their effort. Couples rush into marraige before really getting to know their partner, or even better..before they really know themselves. Expectations are often too high, leaving one disappointed. Know what's reasonable to expect from your spouse, discuss every issue before deciding to make a commitment, never assume the other person will change once married, and always listen, and compromise. It's alot of work, but I'm a hopeless romantic...if you choose the right partner for the right reasons..it's always worth it.

Answer 2

Marriage is very important. Unless you want to skip it ONLY to put GOD first. When we don't have marriage, diseases get passed more and more.
I've met couples married for over 50 years. (I'm not that that old.)
I have noticed the ones that seem the best, seem to have a lot in common or known each other since childhood.
Have you ever seen the movie "Fiddler on the Roof"? There was a time (and in some religions toady still) where marriages were arranged. And the couple wants to know if they love each other and after 20 years they realize they do. To often today a couple feels a little closeness and believes that is enough. They don't look for really being "in-love", only a little and figure they have enough. But it takes a lot more.
I had an atheist coz. that married another atheist. And there marriage was great, until she found God. And he left her. Can you stay with the person as things in life change? "for better or worse"?

Answer 3

yea, they stick through hell or high water, but are they happy? Happy is the key word here. If couples considered more of the other than themself, it could work. But it seems they get bord, and take each other for granted. A family divided will fall, a marriage is like going into business together, a partnership. If one lets it collapse, say by going out on one another cheating,or not working as a team, then it's like the partner opened up the door and let the thief in to rob the business, and the whole company will pay for the selfish act.
The children,etc...right down to the family dog. the thing is, we are here on this earth for just alittle while, everything you even have right now at this moment, is going to change, it won't stay the same forever. So enjoy the ones around you while you have them, before it changes, as all things do. Life is change.

Answer 4

It is a pity that society has thrown out all the good values. Cheap sex (without commitment) equals unhappiness. We shouldn't be surprised though, with Hollywood spewing out its ungodly influence every second. Humans have honoured marriage since time began but now, since three decades ago, have become so 'wise' that they have concluded marriage to the rubbish heap.


We are already seeing the effects of this on society. Children raised by single parents are 80% more prone to being violent and becoming societal burdens on the justice system, not to talk of the mental health issues, when compared to those raised by two biological parents. What we see in black populations (I am black)is and will increasingly become the norm for all of society (The effects of centuries of oppression). The price would be high.

My submission is that this fad would not last for half a century more. It would be so costly health wise and as mentioned above that society would begin again to practice the virtues of monogamy and faithfulness within marital relationships.

Even today, statistics show that majority of North Americans are happily married and remain so. "... the percentage of all marriages that eventually end in divorce peaked in the United States at about 41% around 1980, and has been slowly declining ever since, standing by 2002 at around 31%"(see source)

Answer 5

An interesting question. I hope reality is not quite as you have phrased it... I think marriage is certainly worth it. It provides stability, a sanctuary, a place where you can be yourself. I think that perhaps part of the problem with folks and relationships these days is that people give up too easily. Like our disposable world, we throw away stuff instead of trying to fix it. Now some situations can't be fixed, I don't only have rose-coloured glasses... but I feel that a lot of the time we get caught up in the world around us and we forget to put some effort into our relationship with our 'significant other'. All relationships require work, you can't just sign a piece of paper and think you're done. You have to take the time to do things together, to stay connected, to keep the love going (although, yes, it does change, wax and wane...). Please don't be cynical, there is hope, it just requires effort on both sides to make it happen.

Answer 6

I love being married, but in all accounts I am a newlywed. I was only married on January 4, 2007, but we have been together for over sixteen years. Also pregnant with our second child. I think that people should take their time getting to know their spouse before marrying them. For some they can do that in less than a year, others it take time. I think people get together and think that it is always 50/50. mind blowing sex, someone that is there for you all of the time, etc, etc, etc. They want a fairy tale instead of real life. Marriage is not always 50/50. Sometimes it is 20/80, 30/70/ 60/40 and so on. The mind blowing sex is there, but sometimes you just do it to please your partner. Sometimes you are tired and just do not feel like it. Honestly, sometimes you forget that you have not done it. In marriage, you are going to disagree on issues. There is going to be sickness and real issues that you are going to have to deal with. You have to be mature enough to handle those types of responsibilities. Some mornings I wake up and look over at my husband and do not have one thought of any sort. Some days I look at my husband and think, you better not be thinking what I think you are thinking. Then some mornings I can wake up and feel like skipping through the meadows because I am so in love. Marriage is good. But it is not always peaches and cream. People have to try, it is not all going to fall in place all of the time. There still has to be some romance and closeness. My husband enjoys treating me like a baby sometime. I love it, to sit in his lap and lay my head against his chest and go to sleep.

Another thing that I am learning is that sex should never be a bartering tool in a marriage. That act should never be tainted. It is the closest that you and your husband can be when you join bodies, mind and spirit. Come hell or high water, I will always fight for my marriage. I can see us together as old people. M&M as another user affectionately call us. I think it is so worth it Kooties. You have to have the right person. My husband is my soul mate and best friend.

Answer 7

To make a marriage work, you have to make sure that you are friends first. Don't ever let the sex be the center point of your relationship. That is where the biggest numbers of divorces come from. Ask yourself questions, " if he/she became sick and couldn't care for him/her self, would i stay by their side, if they slipped into a comma, could I wait by their side to see their eyes when they open them for the first time in forever, could i clean up their poop if they couldn't"
If there is a big storm, can I stay and wait it out for the million other good days, or will you have to walk away and call it quits. Those pepole that has made it through life for 40, 45, 50 years, they asked these questions to them selves. That is the reason for their successful marriages. Now days, two things will get you married, good sex and a nice body. Nothing at all like those people believed in. I have been married for 5 years and we started out as best friends, yes there has been alot of falling outs but that is life and it is what we make of it. Yes, was my answer to those questions. And that is what you call "stroke" love. The kind of love that nomatter what life gives you two, the both of you will over come it and stay as one.

Answer 8

I am never getting married. Marriage is a tradition. A tradition used in history for family members of the bride n groom to gain wealth or to settle debt. Very few people in history ever married for love. This is what made their marriage work, Cause it HAD to, wheather it was an abusive marriage, if one cheated w/e what have u as long as the families joined and as long as she had a son to carry the family name...But yet, in America present time we use marriage as a commitment between two people inlove which was always the classic thinking of what marriage should be. Well, people change. N given our freedom to think, speak n act why would we have to put up w/ the intolerable?... I just want to find someone where we love eachother, help eachother, and have as much fun as we can w/o getting married but still have the commitment; i dont need the title nor the legal binds..i've seen what divorce does, n i dont want to go threw that for me, my partner nor IF i have kids

Answer 9

In MY opionion... and that i think of that's all any of this truly is... a marriage is probable not worth struggling with for while a severe situation enters the relationship and one (or the two) events do not care to repair it *or returned and returned fail to stick to via with their section in fixing it. *as an occasion, if a individual cheats, that would not constantly mean the relationship is over. If the victimized considerable different can forgive and get previous it, and the cheating considerable different feels actual be apologetic approximately and not in any respect does it returned, than i've got faith the marriage continues to be salvageable. yet while the victimized considerable different under no circumstances truly shall we it circulate and/or the cheating considerable different does it returned (basically as quickly as is all it takes), i think of it's time to permit circulate. i've got faith that under the wonderful circumstances, there's no situation that can enter a relationship and deem the marriage irreparable. I do basically not understand what number relationships actual have the "actual circumstances" first of all. i assume what i'm asserting is that i've got faith a marriage is basically as sturdy because of the fact the folk in it and since the friendship bond that's preserving them at the same time. One individual can not carry their marriage at the same time all by myself, a minimum of, not for long. And no situation, no count how great, can get interior the way of a very sturdy, rock-good marriage.

Answer 10

Yes, i definatly think that marriage is worth it. I think that people just get married too soon. Either they are too young, and are inexperianced, or they don't know the person long enough. My parents have been married for 28 years, and they are still very happy with it. In my opinion, i think you shouldn't get married to somebody unless you've known them for atleast a year and a half. Also, people don't think about the qualitys of the other person. You have to notice how she or he acts when you arn't around. Then you can really tell what they're like. If they act totally diffrent to others,then they do to you, then that isn't a good sign.