Why do some people remarry three or four times? Isn't twice enough?

Question

Hell, I am a classical liberal. I support someone;'s right to die from an addiction to glue if they so desire. I support a woman's right to do whatever she wants with reasonable exceptions. I don't care if legally you get married five times in terms of the legality. It is the moral issue behind it that matters.

Answer 1

i always figured once was all you needed, but apparently not

Answer 2

Successful marriages have never been easy to achieve, and they do not come about by accident. Some seem to find it easier to ‘throw in the towel,’ dissolve the marriage in divorce, and try to start all over again. Yet, the same problems often present themselves in a second or third marriage. A much better answer is the Christian one: Strive for success by applying the Bible principles of love and respect. United families depend on a spirit of give and take, of unselfishness. One marriage counselor put forward a simple formula to make marriages last. He wrote: “The four critical elements found in almost all good marriages are the willingness to listen, the ability to apologize, the capacity to provide consistent emotional support, and the desire to touch affectionately.” Those factors can indeed help make a marriage last because they are also based on sound Bible principles.—1 Corinthians 13:1-8; Ephesians 5:33; James 1:19.

Answer 3

Simply put: "They never learn"! Assuming that a person married too young the first time, one can understand divorcing and then re-marrying a second time. However, if there wasn't enough "growing time" maturity wise between the first and second marriage or, if the second marriage was a "rebound" type situation....then a third may be understandable FURTHER DOWN THE LINE. Three or more marriages means "the problem lies with YOU"!! Seek help at this point (lol). Ideally, people shouldn't marry until they've finished their schooling, gotten their careers going and are financially independant, are emotionally mature and have "dated" several types of people so as to get a sense of what they need and want in a life partner. Then when they finally choose to marry, it should be a life-long, solid committment because they took the time to choose wisely. However, like I said, that's "Ideally"...NOT the "reality" (lol)....

Answer 4

Several reasons :

1- They can't live by themselves- Afraid to be alone.
2- They need the emotional support.
3- They need the financial support.
4- They can't make the decision without someone holding their hands.
5- They want to find a parent for their children.
6- They are hoping they make the right decision next time.

Thumb down eh? You asked a question and that are some of the reasons why people get married more than once. Whether you agree or not, people have the right and reason why they want to marry more than once. What is it to you?

Answer 5

When people marry several times, I wonder...
1. How can they afford it? Isn't alimony quite expensive?
2. What about all of those children they seem to accumulate?
3. For immediate family gatherings, is it necessary for them to rent a stadium? How do these people keep all of their relations "straight" and what about multiple sets of grandparents? Christmas must be something like Woodstock without the drugs. Or come to think of it, maybe there are drugs :D
4. Instead of wedding bands, do they use name tags (it could be embarrassing to mix up a partner's name with a prior partner's)?
5. "Serial wedders" are ones who I think of as people who go on dates that most times end with I Do. Wouldn't a nice dinner be a little less expensive?

So to answer your question, for some once is enough, perhaps twice; it's assumed sentient adults learn from experience; "Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me".

Perhaps this might be a disservice to some who marry (and divorce) often, but I'm inclined to wonder if they are shallow and don't know what they want in a partner, or have illusions about marriage. The moral ramifications of "serial wedding" is mind boggling just in terms of family relations (who's who?) not to mention the sexual intimacy that isn't really all that intimate when bedding spouse # 8 (I'm thinking of people such as Elizabeth Taylor et al).

Can this be "real love" this many times over or is it perhaps a craving for something else? I think a lot of people seek house mates more so than partners - someone to clean, cook, repair the roof, babysit, share the bills, and offer some guarantee (or more accurately, the expectation) of regular sex with someone familiar and reasonably reliable. When these materialistic wants remain unmet, they get "unwed" once more and move on to the next, and the next, and ...

Answer 6

I thought the ideal goal was once, but maybe I misheard that part of the marriage vows.

My mom has some friends who have married that many times, but they are all older ladies--they were all with husband #1 for years and years, had kids, raised kids, sent kids to college, paid for weddings, all of that. They all were also widowed when husband #1 died. Their subsequent marriages have all been to gentlemen who have become widowers. Generally, the gentleman dies, and then a few years later, the woman remarries again. I think that's kind of a different situation, however, because their marriages aren't ending in divorce--they are ending in the death of a spouse, and the folks involved are all older, and they want to enjoy their retirement in the company of someone else (who wants to finally have the money to travel to Europe, but no one to share it with?).

When it's younger people with multiple marriages like that, I always think that maybe they need to take a big step back and evaluate what they are doing. Three divorces in ten years tells me that they aren't picking the right person to commit to in the first place, and that perhaps they'd have a bit better luck if they changed something in their behavior.

**EDIT**
My mom has been married and divorced twice. Both her first husband and my dad were hitters and cheaters. After she divorced my dad, and we moved back to her home state, she kept running into really nice men she had dated when she was young, and who expressed interest in dating her again. I asked her once why she repeatedly said no to one of them, who was very, very nice, and who, she admitted, was wonderful when they dated in high school. She told me that after two runs through miserable marriages (one of which lasted 25 years), she's pretty sure she doesn't know how to pick men properly, and she's not about to go spend hours in therapy to find out what she's doing wrong. She said it's easier, and cheaper, to just stay single.

Answer 7

It sounds like they have LOYALTY issues.
I know if they would stop there selfish me me me ways and,
turn to GOD for marital strength, they would stay married until
death do they part as the wedding vows they spoke.
GOD never intended for people to divorce! The bible says
that in the old testament, Moses gave a letter of divorce due
to the hardness of peoples hearts but, from the beginning it was NOT so. In the new testament, it is written ONLY for the
cause of FORNICATION committed by one spouse, it is OK
for the other spouse to remarry (within the church=believer).

Answer 8

i was married for 20 years. now divorced. I'll never get married again. Once is enough. I am open for a loving , monogamous relationship where she has her house, I have my house and we visit each other often. but none of this we stuff. i respect her privacy she respects my privacy. and we just enjoy each other . no drama.

Answer 9

Once should be enough unless you were widowed of course. Some people go into marriage for money and when it's gone, so are they. My aunt was married 7 times. It was all about the money with her. We don't claim her. :)

Answer 10

I've never been married before. I wish I could marry that many times so I never had to spend my life alone

Answer 11

I guess we should all just follow your rules. What else CAN'T we do...according to you???

NO- People have the right to get married as many times as they want.