Did you argue at all with your spouse before you guys were married ? did you argue alot or a little ? I met someone that I feel is my husband, but we argue alot about petty stuff, then kiss and make-up. is this a bad sign or normal ? I don't know . need advice
2007-09-02 05:30:49 · 22 answers · asked by 2teens2todds 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is normal - you are still getting to know one another. It would be abnormal if you didn't argue! You have to learn about eachother, when you press a certain button what reaction do you get? What will the other person tolerate? What will they not tolerate? What standards do they have? The list of things you are learning about eachother is endless, and the more you learn, the better you'll get along! My husband and I argued a lot in the beginning of our relationship. We have a very blessed marriage now, very happy, and we are best friends. We know how to accept each others differences, and accomodate each others imperfections. We hardly argue at all these days and that is because we know what to expect from eachother, and we work hard to live up to the expectations of the other. Once you make the descision NOT to do something that you know will hurt the other, it gets so much easier, the hard part is in the beginning, learning ehat ticks the other person off! It's a learning process, and the secret to success in marriage is are you willing to learn and accept the other person's flaws, or are you demanding perfection? If you are demanding perfection, then you are not ready for the blessing of marriage!
2007-09-02 05:41:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What relationship doesn't have arguments? My husband and I were together for 8 1/2 years before we got married, so what do you think? Of course it's normal to argue and have different opinions about things, even the small petty stuff, I've heard that sometimes when people get bored and have nothing better to do that they will pick a fight with their significant other just to have something to do, not sure about all that. Relationships can't be based on love alone, you have to communicate and trust eachother and work through everything that comes your way, no matter how big or how little it may seem, always work together. Hon you're gonna have to choose your battles and choose wisely and compromise with him on some stuff. Hope I helped you out a little Have a great day! : )
2007-09-02 12:58:20 · answer #2 · answered by PennyLane 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is never good to argue a lot in my books. Petty stuff especially, but I have always felt that it's the small stuff that people argue about the most. You guys should really try not to argue, and just discuss matters like adults. Kissing and making up is very nice but the fighting and arguing can wear a person down and cause serious camage to a relationship. (smile)
2007-09-02 12:39:38 · answer #3 · answered by Fergy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Arguing or fighting over petty stuff is not really a healthy start to a relationship...it would be indicative of two very different people. Marriages survive when there is commonality in a wide variety of ares, same beliefs about family, children finances etc. Having a bunch of petty differences doesn't bode well for the big issues.
2007-09-02 12:55:13 · answer #4 · answered by bikinibabewannabe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First question: NO. #2:NO. You argue over petty stuff, how does that make you feel when you know that what he says to you, you're never gonna forget? Do you kiss and make up only because he wants to get intimate or is it you who are starting the arguments and you, say you're sorry? Do you both agree to disagree, knowing that you are two different people and will not always agree about everything?You will be more comfortable if you allow him to be himself and you're allowed to just be yourself. Quit trying to get him to be like you, and him trying to get you to be like him, so you'll like each other. Communication in the key. One more thing, sometimes you answer your own question, when you ask the question. So if YOU think it might be a bad sign, you're probably right. good luck.
2007-09-02 12:50:38 · answer #5 · answered by Powersthatbe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No I dont think constantly arguing is a good thing because eventually the little things that you think you can put up with will annoy the hell out of you. Believe me i had the perfect husband on paper but we didn't share enough common ground as far as our beliefs and opinions go and they are part of the glue that keep a couple together.
At the end of the day they do say though that love can overcome anything so if its true love with you guys, who knows? The only person who can really answer this is you hon.
Good luck xx
2007-09-02 12:37:49 · answer #6 · answered by Holly2007 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hon, EVERYONE argues now and then.
People have differences of opinion.
What matters is that you have the ability to work out those differences without a lot of trauma, tears, tension, etc.
We've been happily married 37 years, and I guarantee you, some of the key elements of a successful relationship - married or otherwise - are:
1) A long list of common interests; things you both enjoy doing TOGETHER as opposed to separate interests and separate groups of friends.
2) A lot of tolerance for each other's differences. As much as you share in common, you're still going to rub one another wrong from time to time. Be mature and deal with it. Separate the small $h!t from the serious stuff.
3) A sense of compromise; so that you can work out your problems with a minimum of emotional trauma. It's marital negotiation.
4) A sense of sympathy and forgiveness. You're both going to screw up on occasion. You need to be able to forgive, forget, and move on with the relationship.
2007-09-02 14:40:49 · answer #7 · answered by John Doe 1st 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married twice. I argued so much with my first wife it wasn't funny. This was true before we got marrried but after we were married it got SO MUCH WORSE. Don't even go there, I'm warning you!
I can count the arguments I've had with my second wife on one hand and still have three fingers left over. We get along GREAT which is why we have been so happy together (our 4th anniversary is next month.)
So my advice is to marry a LOVER not a FIGHTER!
You won't be sorry if you dump this guy. Your true soulmate is just over the horizon!
At the very least try living with this guy for a couple of years before you tie the knot and see if things get better (they won't.)
2007-09-02 12:42:02 · answer #8 · answered by Mangy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's normal for two people to have different opinions, but to constantly argue...that's not a good thing. And especially if it's about petty stuff. What's going to happen when there's something big going on?
2007-09-02 12:34:14 · answer #9 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage people don't live in a make believe world, spouses argues all the time but they still love each others.
2007-09-02 12:39:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋