When I see those beautiful newspaper photos of golden anniversarys I often thing here are people of character. They must have had losses, hurts, health problems all the common problems and yet they stuck it out. With forgiveness for hurts, transgressions, wrongs, slights they conquered time. What do you think or have you experienced.
2007-09-02 05:15:39 · 16 answers · asked by Southern Comfort 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
The hardest I've worked on anything in my life, is my own marriage to my husband of 41 years.
And right there with it is the relationships I enjoy with our son and our granddaughter.
It's all been worth it but anybody who dreams of "true love" is dreaming about a youthful physical attraction, and a big fancy marriage ceremony with pretty dresses and flowers and a honeymoon.
Being in a marriage is a totally different matter and it, like bringing a new life into this world, will take every ounce of your strength, courage, dedication, sacrifice and hard work and prayers to get you through the creation of a life worth living.
But it's worth every moment, every learning experience, every loss, every tear, every hurt, every challenge.
You change and your love changes, you learn to be flexible and to communicate and respect one another and to work well together and play well together and one day you reap the rewards and begin to harvest what you've planted through all the years.
Loving someone is easy, living that love out in a lifetime is a tremendous lot of work and commitment but oh when it works ..... it's truly a thing of beauty.
2007-09-02 07:34:50 · answer #1 · answered by autumlovr 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My dear, life is nothing but a little bit philosophy, some hard work to survive and more is the adjustment!
You have to learn to adjust then only you get some happiness and the satisfaction. If you can't adjust - may it be spouse or boss - you wander in search of happiness and the search finally ends in adjustment of some sort.
So giving up the desire of sex, ANGER, greed, pride and envy and go on doing your DUTY, leads you towards DELIGHT! Then there is no need to take any effort to survive or what you want -to make your marriage last.
2007-09-03 03:53:50 · answer #2 · answered by dbgyog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I worked hard at keeping my marriage together for almost 17 years. It fell apart anyway, because I could no longer justify turning my back on my husband's affairs.
Wife number two and wife number three found out the exact same thing about him.
Guess I should have given up on him a lot sooner than I actually did, huh? SOME men are just not worth the time spent on them. Unfortunately being associated with him soured me on "forever" relationships for the rest of my life.
There are SOME things that can't be forgiven, and being told continuously that you are just not sexy enough to keep his interest, and then learning that he is indiscriminately siring children on a handful of other women, in a sure deal breaker.
2007-09-02 12:36:32 · answer #3 · answered by Susie Q 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i can't really pin point anything specific that we've been through. probably b/c i've chosen, sub consciously, not to remember the bad stuff. not that our lives have been bad by any means but i'd rather deal with the here and now. we'll be married 24 yrs this october and it's something i'm pretty proud of. as a kid, i never thought i'd be here now.
i think the same as you do when i see the golden ann. notices. imagine all the things they've seen and done.
2007-09-02 12:23:56 · answer #4 · answered by racer 51 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been married over 38 years to the same...sometimes wonderful, sometimes not...woman. I believe if people put as much energy and caring into the MARRIAGE as they do the WEDDING, marriages would last.
What I don't understand is why women will spend so much money on a dress they will only wear once and the man will RENT his tuxedo!
2007-09-02 14:07:32 · answer #5 · answered by AmericanPatriot 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes, no marriage can last for over 20 years unless both parties have worked very very hard to see that it succeeds. The key words to any successful, lasting marriage are love,understanding and adjustment.
2007-09-02 23:25:35 · answer #6 · answered by Traveller 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage takes a lot of work and commitment to make it work. It's never easy and with ups and downs, fights, hurts and many other complications.
With the divorce rates being what they are nowadays, I agree with you that those long married couples are of character and committed people.
2007-09-02 12:25:58 · answer #7 · answered by Blue 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We experienced so much. A summer where my husband went on the wrong track. The death of our oldest son. My husband losing his job through a company bankruptcy and having to move far from our familes. Our middle son losing touch with us because of a new family. The closeness with our youngest who moved to Washington state, ( we live in Texas, our middle son lives in New Mexico and has bonded with his wife' family, our youngest has moved to Washington state). We are hurt about so much, but grateful about so much. We love each other dearly and are very grateful for our lives. We thank God daily for whatever, and for all that we do have.
2007-09-02 12:28:05 · answer #8 · answered by Scoots 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I am coming up on 50 in Jan. 2008..We haven't had to work hard to save our marriage..we married for better or worse and there have been very few "worse"..we still laugh, go on dates now and then, and never go to bed mad as one of us might wake up dead..and think of the guilt trip that would put on the remaining spouse, we learned very early to never sweat the small stuff..and most of it is small stuff..
2007-09-03 02:49:00 · answer #9 · answered by jst4pat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're reading a lot into a photo. I know that marriage isn't a giggle-fest. Sometimes people stay in truly destructive marriage because that's what they feel they should do. People have stayed in truly abusive relationships because of family expectations or some misguided sense of obligation.
I applaud anyone who can stick it out. But if you're getting beaten or raped it's time to go.
2007-09-02 12:32:03 · answer #10 · answered by mediahoney 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋