Why do I hate my father?

Question

is there anything wrong with me? is this normal? are there any psyhocological explanations?

Answer 1

Freud would say it's because you want to have sex with your mother and you see your father as a competitor. Of course, Freud was pretty high on cocaine a lot of the time, so I don't give his theories much credence.

Hating ones parents is normal in teenagers. You'll grow out of it eventually, probably.

Answer 2

There is not anything with you and many persons have the same problem like you. The main thing that you must understand is that, You are parents love you and you needn't have to hate them. But generally, in a family, parents and children have their choice and preference. And you will remark that boys are in harmony with their mother, while the girls are enjoying their stay with the father. If you are sure that you have never got problem with you are father, just could down your mind, discuss with him and you will find a solution to your problem.

Answer 3

I hated my dad for years. He beat my mom and us kids and he constantly had to have everything his own way or he'd beat us. He almost killed my mom twice. There was one time he was working on something in his office and he expected supper to be done by 6 on the dot. Well, I had to mash potatoes and so I was like, so do I mash them now so dinner will be ready at 6, or do I wait for him to be done with what he is doing and THEN mash them. He was making a recording of music for a friend...it wasn't even his JOB. So, I thought it would be better not to get beaten for not having dinner ready. Well, when I ran the electric mixer to whip the potatoes, he came running into the room screaming at me because I may have messed up the recording he was doing. There was a little "pop" or something that was audible to him when I turned on the mixer. So, basically, I got slapped around because I was following his rule that dinner is ready at 6. As* is what he was.

I have a lot of baggage from growing up in the same house with him which has caused me to NOT be able to function in the workplace. I have tried through the years to work but I've never been able to hold down a job. So now I'm on disability. Yeah, I still get mad at him sometimes and blame him for where I am, but I could also blame my mom and siblings for not protecting me by turning him in. We lived in a small town, and besides that, no abused family admits there is a problem.

So, maybe you are not conscious of the reason why but maybe your dad was a jerk to you.

OR it could be that you are a lot like your dad. Most kids don't get along with the parent that they are most like.

Sometimes it is impossible to know why we hate someone. I have run across three people in my life, that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get along with them. It was like they misinterpreted everything I said and twisted it into something mean. Which, if you knew me then, you'd wonder how anyone could possibly think such a sweet girl would be mean.

Now, though, if I have a bad day (I'm bi-polar on top of everything else), I can be the biggest witch you can think of. I've always wondered if I inherited the bi-polar and other personality problems from my father or if my attention to his behavior so that I wouldn't repeat it made me act like him. If you focus on a behavior you don't want to become part of you without another example to follow, you become what you focused on.

Maybe your mom doesn't "respect" your dad and the way she acts is something you are picking up on subconsciously.

It's normal to hate your parents at some point in your life. Sometimes all it is is we are trying to break away from our parents and are trying to become independent. If your father is standing in your way to your independence, that can cause anger, too.

So, you can see, sometimes it's cut and dry and sometimes it isn't easy to see why we hate a parent.

You may want to keep a journal (I don't because I can't -- it brings back too many memories). Sometimes if you spend time meditating on a problem, you can figure out why something is the way it is.

Therapy could help if you're willing to work with someone else toward a resolution. Sometimes talking to someone else helps bring things into perspective.

Whatever happens in your quest to figure out why you hate your dad, I wish you much success.

Answer 4

Only you have the knowlege as to WHY you hate your father.

I didnt like mine much either.

He is dead now and I have never missed him or been sad about his death or emotional about his illness or connected at that kind of level at all.

He could be a charming man, but he was too narcisistic to win my affections.

All his children were present at his death and we all supported him through his long illness before he died. But NONE of us were emotionally connected. We were going through the motions. We were being dutiful and doing our bit so that other people didnt have to do it in our absence.

I treated him with respect and dignity as I would any human being. I was there because he was my father, not because I loved him.

What we sow, so shall we reap.

He practically ignored us when we were children. We were NEVER high on his priority list. To be honest, he got more from us than he deserved from his actions. It is just that we were brought up to be decent human beings by our mother, so we honoured that role because of who we are, not because of who HE was.

It is you who must come to terms with how you feel and why. You may need a professional to walk you through it, worth doing for YOUR sake.

Answer 5

it would be hard for someone to say, unless they knew more details,
had/did your father do major bad acts towards you or is the relationship just not living up to your expectations of what it should be? do you truly feel hate, or is it disappointment and wishing things were different?
it is normal to have conflict with ones parents, due to expectations of how they should be, of thinking you should be similar (in personality, goals, manners etc etc). Often parents and their child are different, with different approaches to life and mannerisims
It helped me alot to accept this, that my family was not made up of similar individuals, even though we each had our unique good points and bad points. Finally, fathers/sons and mother/daughters tend to have more conflict, then father/daughters , mothers /sons, do you get along with your mother? if so why? is it her or your expectations of her that cause the relationship to be good, or bad?

Answer 6

I hate my father. i visited a psychologist and together we worked out that most of the hate had sprung from an event that had occured between us when I was about 4 years old.

There is nothing wrong with you, but if you think there is, visit a psychologist

Answer 7

Hate is very strong word. I went through phases with my parents. Accepted them unquestioningly as a child, resisted them as a teenager, saw them as adults in my early 20's and started to see their faults and other problems in my 30's. At this point in my life, they are getting quite elderly and I am mixed between frustration with them over some of the things that they did to me as a kid (which I am trying to get past) and sadness for their lost opportunities that can't be taken back. They love me, I love them, but they are deeply flawed.

You have come to the realization your dad is deeply flawed and you want him to be different. But you dad is who he is. Accept him and take whatever relationship you can manage with him as best you can.

Answer 8

There are psychological explanations to evertything but you woudl have to ask a psychologist. Nobody here would be able to answer that question for you since they don't really know you

Answer 9

It could also mean that you are or likely to be more like him and we all know that similar poles(in magnetism)repel each other.Boys normally go through this phase which is temporary,may be as a transition to getting him to know more and more.

Answer 10

i also hate my father he left my family when i was five and i never even got to visit him, he never answered any of my calls and i st gave up more and more over the years maybe this is what your going through and maybe its not but either way i feel for ya