My wife and I are pretty good friends, but sex is infrequent, and we have trouble sleeping in the same bed. She smokes and I don't like it or appreciate it. A lot of times I don't find her attractive. Our domestic habits are not great. She doesn't cook almost at all, and when I cook, she almost never eats it because she's so picky. We both want sex, but there's just some sort of a deadlock there. She doesn't give me what I want and I don't give her what she wants and we are unwilling to compromise. It seems like when I give her what I know how to give, she doesn't appreciate it, and I just give up. She hates cuddling when we sleep and we both snore and bother each other. She just kicked me out of the bed because I was moving around too much or "my energy was all over the place".
Parts of me tell me that this is not the best marriage and I can find something better. Another part says that we were likely meant to be together and maybe things will get better if we have kids. I'm confused
2007-09-02 02:37:56 · 20 answers · asked by Nickname 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Not sure I would call this a marriage. Why bring kids into it? Kids need a loving and stable home which yours is not at this time. Have you tried marriage counseling?
2007-09-02 02:47:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
to have a good marriage it really need a lot of sacrifices from the husband n wife. It needs love, understanding, communication n compromise from each others. So many ppls in this world but it is the destiny that both of u met n decided to get married. Both of you should b responsible for the actions and decisions that u both decided. It is not easy to say to ourself that i knew thats the right girl i'm looking 4 all this yr and i decided to marry her.
in the marriage there are alots of Challenges that both need to go through to see n prove the bonds on this marriage. If faces problems n no guts to face them, then it was wrong that you decided to get married but that was not the point here. the points here are how to solve problem that you r currently facing with. If she really love u as she claim she will listen n try to compromise otherwise u better ask her what did she want from you.
I believe u must love her very much and same as her thats why both of you agree to get married not to other ppl. Try to sit down together and work things out. Make sure you already try ur very best to solve the problems n no regrets in future.
from there u will know what to do.
good luck n remember divorce or seperated is always the last choice/option n u don't want to do that
2007-09-02 03:51:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. call the police on having a gun pulled on you. Forget what your wife says -- this is against the law. 2. go to counseling - tell that if she wants to stay she has to do this. 3. tell the counselor everything so they can help. 4. if you two are to reconcile she needs to stop all contact, if not leave her because it will not stop. 5. since there are children involved she has to agree to all the terms or kick her out. Your first priority is to protect the kids. couple other things that I have learned from my wife's affair. it will take a long time ( months or years to truly get over it. She needs to come clean with everything on why she did it, what caused her to go outside the marriage, etc... Don't be too fast to forgive, she needs to prove to you that she means what she says. She has to earn your trust back now, the counselor will help you with this. Oh, by the way do not confide in family members, it will only make this much worse. I have done allot of reading on this since it happened back in Nov/09 and this is one this you must not do. Contact a help line and they can help you sort out your emotions. Plus if your into making any decisions, wait 6 months ( let the dust settle before making them. Also take up something that will help work away the stress that is building up -- I took up working out at the gym with weights -- it does help. good luck.
2016-03-17 22:12:37 · answer #3 · answered by April 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a few problems here. The lseeping apart won't harm your relationship. Always go to bed together, but sleep seperately. Have a spare bed ready to move into when you want to sleep.
Ask her what she wants, both sex wise and dinner wise. Take turns - you cook one night, let her cook the next.
Actually, the reasons why your marriage isn't too happy are very minor. Sort them out.
2007-09-02 02:55:55 · answer #4 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have your own marriage. Try sleeping in different rooms(Happens more than people think) and, I hate to say this, but find a way to start the sex. Try mornings, right after work, what works for the both of you. If you both try this can work.
2007-09-02 03:09:27 · answer #5 · answered by Blue T T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree do not have kids its makes everything more complicated. You think your not having sex right now...If you have kids to think about and concern yourself with you really won't be getting any. Also if you are thinking this is not the person for you and you can do better bringing kids into that type of situation is unfair.
2007-09-02 02:53:55 · answer #6 · answered by amiyr b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way don't have kids it will make it worse(50 times worse) then your stuck with her for life or your stuck with a hefty child support fee and you might not even be able to see them except every other weekend. Now that sound so nice paying for a crappy womans bills and your not even with her hahaha i call guy's like that at my work loooosers lol.
2007-09-02 03:35:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to figure this out BEFORE you have kids. You still have an easy out. I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with someone like that. Can you? Don't think you can change her. You won't.
2007-09-02 02:45:25 · answer #8 · answered by Fall 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi. it seems that u r having a serious marriage problem. well i would say u should not have kids. if u guys r not happy wt ur self how can u keep ur kid happy. raising a baby is a big n important task. n from wat u have said u both havent understood each other properly. i think u both should both give each other some time. try n understand each other n adjust ur self to each other. both should make some sacrifices for ur married life. like u said u both r good friend n u sure can over come this situation by understanding. be happy.
2007-09-02 03:03:00 · answer #9 · answered by anjish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kids wont make your marriage better if its already this way,all it will do is make you both not want each other even more.you both need to move on with your lives and stop wasting it in a marriage thats not really beneficial to either of you.your not giving her what she wants and needs nor her you so why keep it going and torturing yourselves.get out and end as friends maybe and find someone that you both want to be with sexually and emotionally.best of luck to you both.
2007-09-02 02:49:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋