My husband of 19 years has left me. All of our married life he as enjoyed all porno (this does not bother me) The last 5-7 years a fascination of men dressing as women having sex with other men has escalated to obsession (often 6-8 hours of internet time). I have been very sick for 1.5 years and I regretfully say we have not been intimate, even though I feel like I have tried. He gave me notice he was leaving (2 weeks) but no explanation. Heartbroken, I know I will heal and I love him so much I want him to happy (whether its with me or not). But no explanation was given. But my question is: Is he gay, bi-sexual, midlife crisis (60 yrs). my declining health. I'm just trying to understand. Thank for any & all input
2007-09-01 22:08:48 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can never answer over what he may be feeling, as it may be literally any of your mentioned reasons.
But one reason caught my attention that has simply nothing to do with all you have introduced to us about him with:
“My declining health”
If you have been married to this guy for 19 years, and you are in a state of having some health problems… a guy leaving you would tell a lot about the guy that does not compliment him what so ever… even if he is no longer interested in women (It is irrelevant).
All the probable reasons could have been resolved without his need for deserting you in your current situation. It is either a much more important motive, or your husband is really not a person you should still love so much and wish only for him to be happy.
I am sorry for putting it like this. But it is all I can get to through what I have read. I hope you can manage to get on your feet and live up to all that you are currently facing.
2007-09-01 22:40:04 · answer #1 · answered by blackdidthis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cross-dressing transgender...and he's most likely Bi. I realize you must be hurting inside but know that this had NOTHING to do with you!! Men (or women for that matter) just DON'T all of a sudden switch orientation or sexual preferences that easily without there having been something there all along. So, don't beat yourself up emotionally over this. Your maturity shows in the fact that despite your heartache, you still want him to be "happy" nomatter what. That alone shows what a kind and loving person you are. I'm sorry you have been ill. I hope you recover and that you eventually meet someone worthy of your love and kindness. Best of luck to you! :-)
2016-05-19 01:59:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lady... if you were ok with your husband seeing porn with shemales for the last decade and now you need an explanation why he is leaving... well... you're in denial. 'you love him so much' ... yeah right... you're sick and you need someone by you, and that would be someone who took a vow 'in sickness and in health'. i don't know who is more sick , you or him. why don't you look after your health and let him be were he belongs , to the gutter. 'heartbroken'? why don't you throw a party instead? you've spent 20 yrs with a lame person.
if a man is turned on by shemales and he's like 60, he was probably this way all his life and you never got a clue!!! wake up!!!
2007-09-02 00:07:06 · answer #3 · answered by sarah kay 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds bi-sexual with a strong leaning towards gay. Yes it is so painful and you are not to blame no matter what. It sounds like he was very sexual and probably searching. Let him go, take care of yourself that is very important. Eventually perhaps if you havent been totally turned off of men, you will love again.
2007-09-01 23:09:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men who dress up as women are still men...they are transvestites, SOME are gay as well, if your husband has a thing for gay men who cross dress then your husband is gay.
"Shemale" is a term for Transgendered humans, they are people who are in the middle of gender reassignment or who have completed reassignment (gender reassigment=sex change)
2007-09-02 10:40:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She-males are guys with penis's and breast implants , their into anal .
Dont try to understand it he like's porn and need's satisfaction sexually it's just something you have to either deal with and ignore or confront him about and find out for yourself.
2007-09-01 22:36:51 · answer #6 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really should be of no concern what he is now. he sleft and you need to pick up your pieces and move on and take good care of your health get divorce and forget him that is what is good foryou
2007-09-05 16:34:07 · answer #7 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋