Every night i sits next to the window looking at the sky hopping there would be a star for me to make a wish that you would know how much sadness i feel when your not right beside me.
2007-09-01 19:52:28 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
It's not very good. Like everyone else said, it's too long. Plus, without knowing the situation, it seems like the narrator wants someone he/she likes to feel the same sadness he/she feels. If you love someone, why would you want them to be sad, even if you are?
Plus, 'sits' should be 'sit,' 'hopping' should be 'hoping,' and 'your' should be 'you're.'
It's poorly constructed other than that as well though...
2007-09-01 22:00:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, that quotation is long. You could have shorten it so it would be better =) but otherwise, it's something I can relate to at the moment, so yeah.. I love it!
2007-09-01 23:48:04 · answer #2 · answered by ALexa AnderSon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a very long quotation about a person longing for someone.
2007-09-01 19:58:09 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Slide♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a lonely soul wishing for company!
2007-09-01 20:44:46 · answer #4 · answered by ari-pup 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very nice...kind of long, but it conveys your feelings of lonliness for a certain person.
2007-09-01 20:00:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is more like a part of a bigger composition than a quote.
Is it your own line?
2007-09-01 21:37:02 · answer #6 · answered by Matapena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont like it because it is too long and to explanatory. if it was more complicated then i would like it alot more.
2007-09-01 20:00:58 · answer #7 · answered by Bodhisattva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow *sniff*.........that was beautiful
2007-09-02 01:14:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋