Okay so I came home from work a few days ago and my boyfriend of 7 years (and the father of my daughter) casually tells me that one of his ex girlfriends found him on myspace. He went on to tell me that shes married and has a child. I was okay with that, a little bothered by it but no big deal. I went on myspace to check her out and it seems that this girl is a ****, she may be a mother but she is a ****. Her default picture is a picture of her *** wearing a pink thong and white fishnet stockings. Her friends list is filled with all diffrent types of men telling her how good she looks. Well, let me tell you... I flipped out! He told me he needs friends and wants to know what she has been up to he wants to know how her life turned out.
I was really upset I gave him a bad attitude cursed him out and He left. I sent all types of hate messages to him and I told him I dont want nothing to do with him if hes gonna talk to her.
Turns out he deleted his my space page so i assume he's not talking to her but he's not talking to me either I havent heard from him all day. Yesterday he said he doesnt want to be bothered with me and im psycho.
I wish he understood that I flipped out because it hurt that he was intrested in her. I tried to apologize but he wont accept it.
I know I may have over reacted but do I deserve to be ignored by him?
Im just really confussed. I havent spoke with him in over 24 hours. Was I that wrong??
2007-09-01 18:37:51 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, in a way yes you were bad. You had a reason I understand, but I see this. He cannot help the picture she posted to her my space. He was honest with you that he had "spoken/written" to her. He might just have wanted to know how she turned out, what she looked like now. Aren't you curious what your old friends look like?
If this were me in your place, I would have told him in a nice way, hey she looks like a tra--. I thank you for being honest with me, telling me that you talked to her, but I would appreciate it if you didn't talk to her again & especially not to see her. See how things went after this, how he acted, if you had any idea he might be "wandering" out of your life.
Give him a day or so, let him have space, men need to cool off a bit. You did tell him you didn't want to talk to him right? No he should not ignore you, he should at least say, "hey I need time to think, leave me alone a few days, then we can talk" or something.
If you love each other, this will work out fine, communication is the key & trust, but DO NOT let the trust get out of hand later & do not be blinded by love, follow your instincts. Keep in the back of your mind these things. Has he ever cheated before? How close are you really? Seems like in 7 years & you having a child together if he was that serious about you you would be married by now, so in his mind, you might not be marriage material OR he is not ready for a commitment of marriage. If you do work it out, watch him closely before you make any permanent decisions on your relationship.
Him deleting his myspace means nothing, he can have a new name in a few minutes time & be right back on myspace again, seen this happen lot of times.
2007-09-01 18:52:53 · answer #1 · answered by simplysweetnsexi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU apologized??? For what? Expecting him to be honest and respect you? Never forget that a good defense is a good offense. What this means is that the best way to defend yourself against any type of accusation you find yourself facing (whether true or not) is to turn the whole situation around on the accuser so that the accuser ends up apologizing for accusing you in the first place and never brings the subject up again. Sounds perfect, right? Well, that's what you fell for.
So he needs friends, huh? Friends with pink thongs and fishnet stockings or just any kind of friends? Because he can find any kind of friends anywhere ... work, church, school, bowling night, etc. Don't chase him and definitely do not apologize any more. If he wants to be someone whose been passed around more times than a virus, let him. Being alone is better than being with a guy like that.
2007-09-01 18:48:28 · answer #2 · answered by Emily Dew 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is hard stuff so prepare ur self
why are u HIS girlfriend? u have his child? if ur good enough to bear his child ur SHOULD be good enough to bear his name..
the fact he has not married u.. states he wants his freedom.. just b/c he lives w/ u .. doesn't really mean anything, except he needs a place to live
no no no .. u were not wrong.. and DON'T APOLOGIZE..
ARE u scared now that u may loose him? he is wrong u aren't... he is just hot and hor***.. like all males..
he will sneak behind ur back,, the my-space being deleted means nothing..
u can only love him and HOPE HE Loves u..
either he does or he doesn't.... his actions will tell you..
he may not of lied to u.. but he didn't tell u the whole truth, and that is the same as lying to u..
give it some thought... u really need to make some changes and make him commit or move on... and i no that is a lot to handle for u ..
2007-09-01 18:52:38 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ Blondie ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had a lot of problems with my husband, and I used to be mad about ex girlfriend things too. But, really it's not the person's myspace you have to worry about it's his. My husband has his ex girlfriends (slutty and not) as his friends, but his page is filled with me and our son. They all know he's married and all. Most of them don't even talk to them they just added each other to have more friends. Myspace is a joke, if there isn't enough trust in the relationship, no one should have one then.
2007-09-01 18:47:34 · answer #4 · answered by I_wanna_know_it_all 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only thing that went wrong is the fact that your boyfriend quit talking to you,and that means a lot. If his intentions with talking to his ex was all innocent then he wouldn't be ignoring you. And he's trying to make YOU feel guilty. You have those "feelings" for a reason - pay attention to them and don't let some guy play you that way.
2007-09-01 18:53:25 · answer #5 · answered by Susie B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were not wrong at all. He as a married man has no business talking to some one like her. He doesn't need that kind of friend if he wants to be married.
He knows he is wrong for talking to her, but he wants you to feel guilty for getting angry at the wrong he has done. Stand your ground, don't put up with that kind of behavior from him at all.
You have every right to be livid. Don't let him try and blame it on you either.
If he calls you tell him to stay gone if he wants to have friends like that gal. Turn the tables on him and ignore him, don't try to call him or look for him.
He is cheating on you, talking to her. You don't need to apologize to him, he needs to apologize to you!!!
2007-09-01 18:50:52 · answer #6 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, sometimes you have to bite the bullet . So shes a Hooch, But your missing the IMPORTANT part, he told you about her and let you see her page, its not like he did anything with her just added her to his friends, and told you about it. So let him cool down, apologize for blowing up and remind him it was because you love him so much and are afraid to loose him, and that you DO appreciate his honesty and that you wont blow up again. Then after things calm down I would explain to him how you don't like to bring people into your lives that are like that, and it does bother you but you wont explode at him again. I know it might not be what you want to hear but sometime we have to just suck it up and take the first step when we screw up. Good Luck :)
2007-09-01 18:45:44 · answer #7 · answered by daisyq423 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A little over the top yes, but wrong no.use your head, where does this woman live? is she close enuff that you even have to worry about his interest in her?Trust is a biiiig thing, he's probably feeling like you don't trust him.You could also ask him. "Ok so you know how she's doing, how her life turned out, Now can we leave her alone and move on?"
2007-09-01 18:44:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You overreacted in the way of calling her names because you disliked how she dressed. Perhaps you should have called him names because he was all about *friendship* with her?
To be honest, if you had a male friend who was all buffed out on his website (half naked and muscular) and he found that and started calling you names and being bitchy about it, how would YOU feel?
Your man cannot control how his friend presents herself on her myspace. I don't think you're psycho, but I think you need to have a long talk with him, and open the lines of communication. Trust me, after 13 yrs with my now ex spouse, I wish a trampy friends myspace account had been the LEAST of our issues.
2007-09-01 18:49:38 · answer #9 · answered by navy_brat913 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, you're not married, so frankly he can do as he pleases.... but it's been your choice... so you deal with the consequences of who you chose to be the father of your child and the life you are leading. Shacking up is really not condusive to a lovely family life of fidelity and commitment.
2007-09-02 02:01:01 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋