I broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago. I was getting pretty fed up with his porn habit. I told him so many times that it made me feel bad, but he still kept doing it. Eventually i got tired of it, and i left. i moved out of the apartment we shared together, and now im living with my dad. He's living in a house by himself. the past few days, he keeps talking to me and trying to work things out. he said that he wants to try and quit looking at the porn, but i don't know if it's really worth it? what if i get back with him and he doesn't quit doing it? I don't wanna waste anymore of my time dealing with it...
we were together for almost 3 years, i found out about the porn when we started living together a year ago, ive kept trying to make myself just get over it, but that hasn't worked. he's known for a while how it makes me feel.
we had other problems, like affection, and some trust issues after i found out about him talking to a girl online, very nasty convo.
2007-09-01 17:30:09 · 28 answers · asked by *TiNK* 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
he told her to come lay back in his bed... and that he'd jump at the chance to have sex with another girl without getting in trouble for it....
and for some reason he told me the other night that when he looks at porn, he thinks about having sex with other girls. and that all guys do that...
im confused, because he says he doesnt look at it because im not good enough or anything. yet he thinks about bein with other girls? I'm so confused.
guys/girls, what do u think????
2007-09-01 17:30:38 · update #1
Guys want a girl who never changes. Never gets older, cuts her hair, gains weight, etc. Life is not made that way.
Girls want a guy for what they think they can make him into - become successful, be more attentive, give up drinking, porn, and/or smoking, be a good father/husband. The leopard doesn't change its spots and a temporary dye job doesn't change what is underneath.
Move on. He is not worth you. Have more self respect in yourself and realize that he doesn't value you and your relationship as much as he should.
2007-09-01 18:47:09 · answer #1 · answered by Huba 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not sure how old you guys are but i do think it is normal for guys to look at porn but the fact that he's thinking about having sex with other girls can be an issue,particularly if he knows the girls he's thinking about. If not,then consider it just fantasies,everyone has them.
If he's talking to other girl in a sexual nature online id be concerned and i too would have trust issues.
Your sex life may need some spicing up i would say,you may be great in bed but after three years sometimes things can get a little boring and you may want to consider trying some new things.
I think you really need to talk to him seriously about how you feel. He seems to be making an effort to have you back in his life but he doesnt seem to be prepared to change his habits.
Be sure he is being honest with you to begin with but if you have trust issues it can destroy your relationship.
My partner cheated on me and we stayed together but i never trusted him again and we are no longer together.It causes major problems.
Look for someone who enjoys your company and is satisfied with your sex life. It seems to me like your recent partner isnt.
After a long relationship it can be so hard to walk away and your partner becomes a habit. You deserve to be happy no matter what you decide and life is so short that you dont have time to wait around and see if things will get better.
I would also be asking myself just how much if at all,i loved this guy. You walked away from him but is the porn the only reason?
Do some soul searching without interference from him or anyone else and you'll find the answers youre searching for
Good luck, hope this helps
2007-09-02 00:42:26 · answer #2 · answered by bubbleee03 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were going to leave him you would be gone
by now, if you've been together for 3 yrs and you just
found out about his porn habit, then it can't be that bad.
maybe you should put on a little show for him, and show
him a little skin ? Leave the lights on when you make love
use mirrows, get kinky, give him what he wants. The porn
shows he wants more than you are giving. If every couple
broke up, because the man liked porn, there wouldn't be
many couples left - make love, not war.
2007-09-02 00:44:47 · answer #3 · answered by trebor2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing better without him. He MUST be addicted to porn and like so, he MUST seek professional help. Little by little, he will not be easily satisfied and will begin to believe conyugal life and sex are like the ones portrayed in the internet.
Next thing you know he will be asking you to do stranger stuff. It may be for you to watch porn with him on a regular basis or start asking hypothetical questions in search of a window of opportunity.
Be true to yourself. Respect yourself. You deserve better and with time, a relationship like that will only get you hurt. Think in the future when you guys run out of money? A new hot neighbor moves in? What is going to happen when you grow older? When you can not pay attention to him because of kids?
Ask you father! Tell him about this situation as being that of a friend of yours....
You are not confused. You are just hurt and going through the healing process.
2007-09-02 00:43:54 · answer #4 · answered by boricuaviajero 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He thinks about OTHER girls? Wow, I say good choice on moving out. You deserve a guy that wants you, not some other slut. Plus, he obviously doesn't respect you enough to make a change in his nasty addiction. Sure, some guys like porn, but this guy seems a bit too into it.
2007-09-02 00:35:24 · answer #5 · answered by Shoo_bop22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband does the same thing, but I get thousand dollar purses in retribution. It's not going to stop no matter how hard you try. You either have to deal with it, or just leave. You have described the same exact situation i am in. Believe me it's hard to deal with.
I've thought about a lot of things to get over it, nothing works, even pretty much having an unlimited budget to keep me happy doesn't work.
He told me he looks at porn cos I'm fat.....
I'm not putting it all on here for the world to see, but if you want to talk to someone who is going thru the same thing. Please email me.
I feel for you and my heart breaks for you. Men are jerks.
2007-09-02 00:38:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think if you're not comfortable with him looking at porn and seeing other women, you were right to move out. Don't back down. Find a fellow who feels the same way you do about the topic.
2007-09-02 00:34:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie,
you did the right thing by leaving him alone!!! you had been dating him for 3 years and just found out alittle bit ago about his porn habit.and let me tell you, this is not just a habit that will go away in aday or a week he needs to get help and if he really wants to be with you he needs to show you not just tell you he needs counseling and if i was you i would not move right back in with him i would wait and let him deal with himself by himself and im sorry but to me it seems like he really dont care about you or love you because when you told him that bothered you he should have let that go and he didnt.! let him keep making love with the net and magazines ..and you , you let true love find you, and just be about you for now!!!!
2007-09-02 00:51:04 · answer #8 · answered by agirlwhoknows 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOSE THIS LOSER--and do it quickly. He has a SEVERE inferiority complex, and porn is doing for him what you are not. Plus there's the other girl and he obviously knows you know and he did not stop that either. He will never outgrow his need for porn if you two do not have a trusting physical relationship, and obviously, you do not.
2007-09-02 00:36:24 · answer #9 · answered by Mike 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay at your dad's house. If he truly loves you he wouldn't even think to tell you that he thinks of other girls when he watches porn. If he truly loves you he would never say those things. Those things that he said to you are hurtful and inconsiderate. I don't think he will ever change. Save yourself from heartache and move on.
2007-09-02 02:31:10 · answer #10 · answered by Caitlyn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋