I also need to mention that my wife is attractive and has a slim young girl body, and yet I still can't stop looking, raising conversation and flirting with younger women. However, I have never physically cheated.
2007-09-01 17:22:32 · 50 answers · asked by TheMagicWand 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Finding anyone of the opposite sex is not wrong, but acting on those thoughts, or going beyond just recognizing that they are attractive is.
I do have a problem with your last statement, because you say that you do flirt, that should not happen, it isn't fair to the girls and is wrong to do to your wife.
Get a grip!
2007-09-01 17:29:20 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ ♥Be Happi♥ ♥ 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
It's not wrong to find a person of the opposite sex attractive as long as it isn't pedophilia. When did this start, the flirting? is it more recently? Did you ever see the movie, "10"?
At 37 y/o you are entering your "midlife transition". You've heard of "midlife crises"? It doesn't have to be a crises, but you are starting to feel a "loss of youth".
At 37 to 45 y/o people realize that 1/2 of there life is over. They look at how far they have gone in life in relation to the goals they've set. It can be a time of discouragement or a time of feeling a sense of accomplishment. It often motivates us to work harder no matter how well we have accomplished our goals.
There is a fear that we are no longer attractive to young women and we feel more attracted to young women. It is not a conscious thing. When I was 40 y/o I was so attracted to 20 y/o young women that I could hardly stand it!
You just have to realize that it is a phase you are going through and not act on it. There a lot of divorces during this time because people don't understand what they are going through.
Because you ask about 23 y/o women it causes me to wonder? 23 y/o is pretty specific. Why didn't you ask about women in their "early 20s"? Is there a specific woman that you are attracted to? Please don't act on this attraction if that is the case. It will only cause you and everyone else a lot of heartbreak. No one knows how much emotional pain there is with a divorce or how long it lasts until they experience it themselves.
I remember when my wife left me when I was 59 y/o. It literally felt like all of my insides were ripped out of me and there was this huge hole inside of me. 3 years later the pain was less but for that 3 years it was like I was in hell. After 6 years I am much better but there is still a sense of sadness that I probably will always feel.
I don't remember when that terrible attractiveness to young women passed but it's only a memory for me now. Please don't do anything that will jeopardize your marriage.
2007-09-01 21:36:24 · answer #2 · answered by Smartassawhip 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not wrong that you find 23 year old girls attractive and your 37. Your only 37, not even 40 yet! Thats just normal for men to be attracted to attractive looking women. Whats wrong is flirting and your married. You might not be able to avoid noticing pretty women, but please, think of your wife. You shouldn't be pursuing these girls when you already have a wife. It can lead to cheating. You can't stop noticing an attractive woman but you CAN stop yourself from eyeballing her and then, going up to her and flirting with her.
2007-09-01 17:39:22 · answer #3 · answered by merry diva 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You think you have not cheated? According to the Bible to look at another woman with lust is adultery. But I am not a Bible banging judgmental preaching type of person. Instead I will appeal to your common sense, empathy, and love towards your wife. Imagine if she were being flirted with by guys "hotter" and "younger" then you. Suppose she found them attractive and flirted back? Suppose after some time she had an opportunity to cheat and not get caught? If that would be cool with you then maybe you and her should consider an "Open Marriage" arrangement.
What is good for the goose is good for the gander.
If that does not appeal to you then you should behave always as if your wife is standing at your side at all times. Believe me-if you cross that boundary it will change your marriage forever or end it forever. Just ask my ex-husband.
2007-09-01 17:40:34 · answer #4 · answered by PrivacyNowPlease! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Im 22 never dated anyone, still virgin. The girls my age all are married or with kids, so I been sorta thinking to date someone younger, but I don't know any girls now. Ive lost contact with everyone in school, I just work in a small mill thats my life. Now a 24 with a 14 year old that would be viewed bad here. The wired thing is its legal for a 14 year old to be with a 14 year old.
2016-05-19 01:15:27 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is okay for you to find other women attractive, But going beyond that is not. The flirting has to stop, the conversations need to probably stop. If you love your wife take all of that energy that your putting looking flirting and conversation and put it into (In your words) Your Beautiful WIFE or you may find out that someone else will be pulling your tricks with her. If this doesn't work call a therapist....
2007-09-01 17:35:17 · answer #6 · answered by LILBITOFKY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal for a guy to look. But that's all u should do when ur married. Don't touch, talk, e-mail, call, or even flirt. Sure, some fllirtations are natural, like looks or such, but keep them to a minimum. U don't want to cross a line. Its human nature for people to be attracted to others, but there are lines that shouldn't be crossed for any reason while ur married, or it's cheating, and that's wrong. A bit of control now will help u in the long run later.
2007-09-01 17:28:26 · answer #7 · answered by Uncertain Soul 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The age isn't a problem , but the being married is. Nothing wrong with finding other people attractive ,but the flirting is not cool. Think of your wife. Would you mind it if she got all hot and bothered over a 23 dude? If it doesn't bother you then I'm 23, I just need directions to your house.
2007-09-01 17:43:20 · answer #8 · answered by kent v 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES You are a 37 year OLD married male start acting your age. Flirting is physically cheating. You are putting yourself out there. What if they might flirt back and then more develops? Then you lose everything wife included. Your wife has noticed whether you know it or not.
2007-09-01 17:30:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok im gonna be serious...it's ok to find other women attractive as long as you do not flirt heavily and cheat of course...remember that your wife is important and probably many of those 23 year olds wont look as good as your wife does now when they get that age so love your wife and stop with the wandering eye man it sounds like you have a great thing going for you and don't mess it up!
2007-09-01 17:30:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you keep looking you are setting yourself up to cheat one day. It is a very dangerous game you are playing.
But men seem to have a real problem with this. You are not the only one. Young women are attractive to look at. God made us beautiful and appreciating beauty is not bad in itself. If you lust for a young woman then you are going to have to whip yourself into shape.
A young 23 year old girl you should be viewing with all chastness like a sister.
God gave you the gift of one wife. Think about how hurt your wife would be deeply in her heart if she read this question you just posted. Love should move you to control your actions. And respect for the bond of marriage should move you to fulfill the contract you signed in front of all your family friends and God.
Do you know the bible story of King David who saw a beautiful woman named Bathsheba bathing on her roff top? He kept looking. And she was married. It resulted in much heart ache in that stroy. Maybe reading it will help you.
2007-09-01 17:33:16 · answer #11 · answered by Esperenza 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋